The MVP

22





Week Ten: Ionath Krakens at Themala Dreadnaughts



PLANET DIVISION

SOLAR DIVISION



8-0 y. Yall Criminals

7-1 Bartel Water Bugs



6-2 To Pirates

6-2 Vik Vanguard



6-2 Wabash Wolfpack

5-3 Neptune Scarlet Fliers



5-3 OS1 Orbiting Death

5-3 Sheb Stalkers



4-4 Alimum Armada

5-3 Texas Earthlings



3-5 Buddha City Elite

4-4 Bord Brigands



3-5 Ionath Krakens

4-4 Jupiter Jacks



3-5 Isis Ice Storm

3-5 D’Kow War Dogs



3-5 Themala Dreadnaughts

3-5 Jang Atom Smashers



2-6 Coranadillana Cloud Killers

1-7 New Rodina Astronauts



2-6 Hittoni Hullwalkers

0-8 Shorah Warlords



x = playoffs, y = division title, * = team has been relegated





“WELCOME BACK, FOOTBALL FANS. Masara the Observant here with Chick McGee for our final post-game analysis following Ionath’s 41-35 road win over defending GFL champion Themala. Chick, as we close out our broadcast, let’s get your final thoughts on what this loss does for the Dreadnaughts’ awful season.”

“Well, Masara, Themala came into this game at three-and-five and needed a win to stay alive in the playoff hunt. Now at three-and-six, without a mighty miracle of mystical magnificence, the Dreadnaughts will not return to the post season for a chance to defend their title. And more importantly, the loss means Themala — the defending GFL champions — are just one game above the two teams tied for relegation in the Planet Division. To avoid relegation themselves, the ’Naughts need at least one more win, possibly two.”

“Chick, have you ever seen a collapse of a defending Galaxy Bowl champion like this?”

“Not in recent memory, Masara. And we’ve never seen a defending champ get relegated the season after they win the title — the Dreadnaughts are hoping they’re not the first.”

“Chick, let’s switch gears and talk about Ionath. The Krakens are now four-and-five, but this win was their third in their last four outings. Are they playing well enough to make the playoffs?”

“Masara, let’s not go counting our Quyth Leaders before they bite off the testicles of their litter mates, shall we?”

“Chick! That’s not only insulting, it’s borderline racist, and furthermore, you—”

“Sorry, Masara, sorry, folks at home, but let’s not dwell on my debacle of dialogue. We’re talking about Ionath. The difference in this game was the Krakens’ defensive backfield. Like other quarterbacks the Krakens have faced, Themala QB Gavin Warren picked Ionath apart with crossing routes and short plays, but once an opponent gets into the red zone, the Krakens’ DBs become very, very tough. They intercepted Warren three times in the red zone, and that made the difference in a one-touchdown game.”

“Chick, why are the Prawatt defenders so tough inside the twenty when they can’t seem to stop anyone from the twenty out?”

“Well, Masara, the game the Prawatt play in their system had a bigger playing area and allows passing in any direction. Their goal was to not let the receivers get past them, but they could leave those receivers a lot of space. With the accuracy of GFL quarterbacks, space is one thing a defender can not give. When the field shortens to the thirty yards of the red zone — that’s the ten-yard-deep end zone and the goal line out to the twenty, for you casual fans — the DBs seem to understand they are covering a smaller field and play much tighter defense. You also have to remember the Prawatt are still learning. They only have six games under their belts, and that includes the game we just watched.”

“Chick, several teams have complained that it is unfair for Ionath to be the only franchise with Prawatt players. Is that a valid claim?”

“So far fifteen of the twenty-two Tier One teams have joined the complaint to block the Prawatt from further play. And it’s not just Anna Villani and the other team owners, Masara — the Purist Nation is threatening trade boycotts unless the Creterakian government steps in and forces the Prawatt out of the league. Riots on Alimum alone have now taken the lives of an estimated two thousand sentients. All over the galaxy, sentients are objecting to the presence of the Devil’s Rope.”

“Uh, Chick, isn’t that a racist term?”

“It’s the Prawatt, Masara — it’s not like anyone cares about them, am I right?”

“So true, Chick, so true. But are these complaints going to impact Commissioner Froese’s decision to let the Prawatt play?”

“I doubt it, Masara. Teams can complain all they want. It’s kind of like how I can keep complaining to our producers about how your body odor smells like putrid diarrhea oozing out of a rotted carp, yet they still put me in the booth with you week after week.”

“Chick! How dare you compare me to fecal material! You Humans are obsessed with—”

“Sorry, Masara, sorry, folks at home, but I’m getting word from the producers that the post-game press conference is under way. Let’s go to our feed live in the media room of Themala Stadium.”

? ? ?



THE THEMALA MEDIA ROOM put Ionath Stadium’s to shame. Last year the Dreadnaughts carried a late-season surge into playoffs, then rattled off three straight upsets to take the 2684 GFL title. Team owner Eric Parker had poured money back into the franchise with new uniforms, big-time roster moves and stadium upgrades. Judging from what Quentin saw, Parker had spent a lot of that upgrade money on the media room.

The facility seated sixty sentients comfortably. Ionath’s seated forty, and only then if they were packed in like meatfish being shipped to market. Everything here looked new, from the walls to the tables to the crysteel security window to the ceiling-wide holo-deck that constantly flashed game highlights. The entire rear wall was a replica of the 2684 GFL championship banner — Parker made sure that during a press conference, both his players and the opposition saw that banner behind the media’s eager faces.

Quentin sat at the interview table, as did Cormorant Bumberpuff. To their right was the standard podium, with Messal the Efficient standing behind it. The media had requested both Quentin and Bumberpuff at the same time. That was unusual — usually Coach Hokor was first, then Quentin, then any other players that had standout games.

This media room might be different, newer, more spacious, but the multi-headed monster sounded exactly the same. This time, however, in addition to the familiar cries of Quentin! Quentin! he also heard the new sound of Bumberpuff! Bumberpuff!

Quentin hoped this would go well. If the Prawatt were truly going to integrate into the league, they had to do the same things that were asked of the other races. That included dealing with the media.

Messal pointed to a familiar, black-skinned face.

“Jonathan Sandoval, Net Colony News Syndicate,” the man said. “Mister Bumberpuff, you’ve really come on strong in the past few games.”


There was something funny about the way Sandoval was speaking. He seemed to be talking slow … the way you’d talk to someone you thought was stupid.

“Five interceptions in the last three games,” Sandoval said. “You’ve also got two sacks and are becoming known as one of the league’s best hitters. How do you account for this success?”

Bumberpuff’s arms waved. The media stiffened, leaned back, hissed in air — all signs of fear, as if Bumberpuff might be preparing to attack. The Prawatt sensed the tension; he lowered his arms and sat still.

Quentin tensed as he waited for his teammate to respond. The media members were here to do a job, but it was clear they feared the Prawatt almost as much as the typical galactic citizen did.

Bumberpuff waited a few more seconds, then spoke quietly.

“It has taken me and my fellow defensive backs some time to adjust to the speed of this game,” he said. “The more we play, the more adept we will become at the subtleties and nuances of the passing attack. As to the reason for my success — if you wish to call giving up thousands of passing yards in those same three games success — all I can say is that we listen carefully to Coach Hokor, we work closely with our Sklorno teammates, and we practice hard. We will get better.”

The media stared for a moment, then looked around at each other, nodding as if to say well look at that, the monsters can talk all smart-like. Quentin wanted to throttle them all for being surprised at Bumberpuff’s intelligence, but he knew that wouldn’t help anything.

Messal pointed to a small Ki that couldn’t have weighed more than two hundred pounds. A Creterakian sat perched on the Ki’s shoulder. It wore a yellow bodysuit decorated with images of flapping Creterakians that were also wearing yellow bodysuits. Where did that species find such horrible clothes?

The Ki barked out a guttural sentence. The Creterakian flapped its wings and flew in a small circle as it talked.

“I speak for Ron-Do-Hall, Ki Empire Sports Fest,” the Creterakian said. “Quentin, the influential and always objective Ron-Do says that the Themala owner has filed a new complaint stating that adding a new species in mid-season is unfair. Considering how well Bumberpuff and Weasley played today, do you think that Parker’s claim is accurate?”

Quentin started laughing. He tried to stop but couldn’t. It was a good twenty seconds before he was able to talk.

“Oh … sorry about that,” Quentin said. “You guys crack me up. Really, you do. Gavin Warren threw for something like three hundred and sixty yards today?”

“Three-sixty-two,” someone shouted out.

“Three-sixty-two,” Quentin said, nodding. “Three hundred and sixty-two yards of passing. In one stinking game. He also threw for three touchdowns. Does that sound like we have an unfair advantage? These claims are ridiculous. Warren did whatever he wanted up and down the field, but he got picked off in the red zone. Our defense got tough when it mattered. Next question.”

Quentin! Quentin!

Ron-Do suddenly reared up on his hind legs, eight feet of Ki rising into the air, waving its arms and barking out commands. He was tiny compared to the Ki on the Krakens roster but still a helluva lot bigger than the other reporters.

The Creterakian translated. “The inquisitive and ever accurate Ron-Do feels you did not answer the question. He wants to know how you respond to accusations that the Krakens are cheating this year by being the only team with Prawatt players.”

“Cheating?” Quentin stood up. “The Prawatt Jihad has existed a lot longer than the GFL. Every franchise — Tier One all the way down to Tier Three — could have recruited the species at any point in the league’s twenty-seven-year history. The fact that those teams were afraid to do whatever it takes to win is their problem, not ours.”

The Creterakian flapped faster, letting him hover in place as Ron-Do barked out a follow-up question.

“The wonderful and attractive Ron-Do points out that Ionath is the only team with access to this species.”

“We brought in Bumberpuff and the other Prawatt in Week Three,” Quentin said. “That was two months ago. Since then, I haven’t heard of a single team flying into Jihad space to get their own Prawatt players. Sure, there are fears that their ships will be damaged or destroyed, that players and staff might be hurt of even killed, but you know what? Those are the same risks we faced. The difference between Ionath and the other teams is that the Krakens do whatever it takes to win.” He banged his fist against his chest. “Whatever it takes. This press conference is over. We have to start preparing for Hittoni. You want a story? Get ready for Ionath to run the table, make the playoffs, then take the GFL title. There’s your story. Bumberpuff, come on, we’re out of here.”

? ? ?



Transcript from the “Galaxy’s Greatest Sports Show with Dan, Akbar and Tarat the Smasher”

DAN: Sports fans, welcome back to the most wonderful thing that ever existed, the Galaxy’s Greatest Sports Show. I’m Dan Gianni. With me as usual are Akbar and our own resident Hall-of-Famer, Tarat the Smasher. Let’s talk about Week Ten’s biggest upset! Wabash is shocked — shocked, I say — by the formerly winless Shorah Warlords.

AKBAR: I can’t believe the Wolfpack lost to Shorah. The ’Pack looked playoff bound while the Warlords were winless.

TARAT: The impending threat of relegation can drive a team to play above their level, Akbar. I think that is what happened in this instance.

DAN: That may be true, Tarat, but it’s safe to say that Wabash also played below theirs. I mean the Wolfpack was favored by seventeen points!

TARAT: That is why they play the games, Dan.

DAN: At any rate, Wabash picked a terrible time to lose focus. With just three games left in the season, the ‘Pack are now six-and-three and at risk of missing the playoffs. They are still two games ahead of Ionath, Alimum and Isis but must travel to the Black Hole to face the six-and-three Orbiting Death. The week after that, Wabash hits the Big Eye to face Ionath. If the Krakens beat Hittoni this week, then win at home against the Wolfpack, they could leapfrog Wabash into that fourth and final playoff spot.

TARAT: Ionath started the season at one-and-four. To get back into playoff contention is very impressive.

AKBAR: I don’t know, guys — every year the Krakens make these late-season runs. They did it to move into Tier One in 2682, to avoid relegation in 2683 and then to make the playoffs in 2684. They’ve won three of their last four to regain a sliver of a speck of a fraction of a hope at reaching the playoffs, but sooner or later the Krakens’ tank has to run dry.

TARAT: Akbar, I disagree with you. If a team makes the playoffs, the regular-season record does not matter. The significant factor is how the team is playing at the time they enter the playoffs. Right now, Quentin Barnes is playing MVP-caliber football.

DAN: Oh, give me a break, Smasher! Rick Renaud has the league MVP award locked up. He’s on pace to break a dozen individual records. He can’t be stopped.

TARAT: Dan, I admit that Renaud is the leading candidate, but there are three games still to be played in the regular season. If Barnes puts the Krakens into the playoffs despite all of his team’s injuries and off-season conflicts, he has to be considered.

AKBAR: I think it’s a moot point, guys. Ionath gets to host Hittoni — a winnable game — but then hosts Wabash and then has to end the season with a road game against the To Pirates! I just don’t see Ionath winning all three of those games, which they have to do to make the playoffs. I mean, another dramatic, late-season run where the Krakens have to win all their final games? Just too much, I don’t think they’ll pull it off.


DAN: Your view is noted, little buddy. Let’s go to the callers. Line Five from the Ki Rebel Alliance, you’re on the space, go!

? ? ?



THE COMPUTER’S ANNOUNCEMENT broke his concentration.

[JOHN TWEEDY AT YOUR DOOR.]

Quentin snapped his fingers at the holodeck, pausing the playback in the middle of Hittoni linebacker Kitiara Lomax sacking Isis Ice Storm quarterback Paul Infante. Hittoni was only 2-7, but Lomax had just come back from injury. With their star middle linebacker again in the lineup, the Hullwalkers had whooped the tar out of the Ice Storm, 41-13. Records didn’t matter — what mattered was how well the Hullwalkers matched up against the Krakens, and they matched up well, indeed.

Quentin wanted to spend every moment of the flight from Themala to Ionath studying for the game against Hittoni. He needed to prepare, but the work also let him forget about Becca and John. Fat chance of that now. John was probably here to celebrate, crack open a few beers and talk about his future with Becca.

Seeing Becca had made Quentin angry. Seeing John would probably do the same, but John was his friend — if the man wanted to celebrate, Quentin would help him do just that.

“Let him in.”

The door hissed open. John entered, head tilted down, eyes glowering out from under his eyebrows. His hands were balled into tight fists. Even under his street clothes, Quentin could see muscles twitching.

WHY WHY WHY scrolled across his face.

The last time Quentin had seen John like this was back in Quentin’s rookie season, when the Krakens were preparing to play against the OS1 Orbiting Death — Ju’s team at the time.

“Uh, hey, John. What’s up?”

“Hey, Q,” John said. “Got a minute? We need to talk.”

John looked mad. John looked dangerous.

“Uh, sure. Wanna sit down?”

John walked to the couch and sat. He stayed tense for a moment, then all the anger seemed to leach out of him. He deflated more than he leaned back. His fists finally relaxed. “Got any beer?”

“Sure,” Quentin said. He walked to his small kitchenette and grabbed two mag cans of Miller Lager. He handed one to John and opened the other. The can instantly frosted up, chilling the beer inside.

John opened his, waited for the frost to form, then drank it in one pull. He compressed the can and offered Quentin the empty. “Got another?”

Quentin took the can. He walked back to the kitchenette and returned with four more Millers. John drained another one, then stared at the paused holotank.

He reached into his pants pocket. He pulled something out and tossed it onto the coffee table in front of the couch. It clattered once, spun with a flash of gold, then fell flat.

It was a Green Bay Packers championship ring.

“She said no.”

John’s words seemed to make everything stop, seemed to make the room as still as the image paused inside the holotank. Quentin sat on the couch next to his best friend.

“John, I … I’m sorry.”

John shrugged and drained his beer. He compressed the can, set it on the carpet, then opened his third.

Quentin sipped his. He had no idea what to say.

“But, John … she said yes at the game. Didn’t she?”

John closed his eyes and nodded. “She said she was sorry about that. She was kinda mad I did that in front of all those people. She apologized a bunch, but the only reason she said yes was so I wouldn’t be embarrassed.”

John had always been a man that wore his emotions on his sleeve. Usually, those emotions were general intensity, a love of life or on-field anger. Now, however, the emotion was pain. It hurt Quentin to see his friend so upset.

And yet, Quentin felt another emotion, one that made him feel horrible about himself; was he … happy? Happy that Becca had said no?

John looked up. “Q, what do I do?”

Quentin’s eyebrows rose. “You’re asking me?”

John nodded. “Yeah, sure. You and Somalia get along so good, you know? I mean, what do I do now?”

Somalia. Quentin suddenly couldn’t remember the last time he’d even called her. She was busy shooting that movie. Quentin was busy trying to lead his team to the playoffs, busy trying to get a whole shucking race integrated into the GFL, busy doing his part to stop a galactic war. With all of those things, did he even have time for a girlfriend?

“John, I hate to break it to you, but maybe the reason Somalia and I get along so well is that we don’t see each other very much. I don’t know much about relationships, but it’s probably a lot different when people see each other every day like you and Becca do.”

John stared, then looked to the wall, to the frame that held Mitchell Fayed’s jersey.

“Becca said she loves me,” he said. “But she said she can’t marry me because she thinks she might love someone else even more.”

Quentin froze. She might love someone else even more.

John looked away from Fayed’s jersey, turned his gaze on Quentin. There wasn’t as much hurt in his eyes this time — it remained, sure, but now there was something else.

“Q, who do you think it is? Who does Becca love more?”

Quentin felt his head shaking before he knew he was doing it. “I don’t know, John.”

John’s body tensed. His eyes narrowed, then relaxed. He sighed, the kind of sigh that makes an entire body sag. He looked at the holotank. “Hullwalkers, huh?”

Quentin nodded. “Yeah. They’re a lot tougher than their record.”

“They are,” John said. “I watched the highlights. No sign of Lomax’s knee injury. He’s all the way back. He beat the living hell out of Infante. I hope you’re careful on Sunday. Really careful. When you think about it, a mean-ass middle linebacker can be a quarterback’s worst nightmare.”

Quentin just stared at John. He swallowed. Was that some kind of a threat? Quentin wasn’t sure. It could just be John talking.

John stood and drained his beer. “Thanks for the brewskies, buddy. We’re almost back to Ionath. I’m taking the first shuttle down, then hitting the clubs. You want to join me?”

Quentin’s head shook all on its own again. “I can’t, John. I have to spend every minute prepping.”

John nodded. “Yeah, I figured. Maybe Tim Crawford will want to head out. Later, Q.”

The big linebacker walked out of Quentin’s quarters. The doors swished shut behind him, leaving Quentin alone with his thoughts and emotions, emotions he didn’t understand. Something about the whole situation was overwhelming, stressful.

He didn’t want to deal with it. Or, maybe … maybe he just couldn’t deal with it.

He snapped his fingers at the holodeck. He watched Kitiara Lomax close in on Infante and drag the quarterback down for the sack. Watching felt better. It let the parts of his brain that always knew what to do take over. When he watched football, everything else faded away.



GFL WEEK TEN ROUNDUP

Courtesy of Galaxy Sports Network



The To Pirates (7-2) notched their fourth straight victory this week to move within one win of locking up a Planet Division playoff berth. To came out on top of Buddha City (3-6) in a back-and-forth 24-17 affair.

Wabash had been tied with To for second, but the Wolfpack’s 24-20 upset loss to Shorah (1-8) drops them all the way to a third-place tie with OS1. The Orbiting Death (6-3) recorded a 24-9 victory over Neptune (5-4).

Both OS1 and Wabash will make the playoffs if they win their last two games. On the outside looking in are Alimum, Ionath and Isis, all at 4-5.


The Krakens’ 41-35 win over Themala (3-6) keeps them in the playoff hunt. Ionath quarterback Quentin Barnes threw for 392 yards and four touchdowns, including two TD strikes to wide receiver Denver. Running back Ju Tweedy added another score on a highlight-reel 65-yard run en route to 126 yards on the ground. This marked the third year in a row that Ionath has defeated the defending Galaxy Bowl champion.

In the Solar Division, Bartel (8-1) defeated Hittoni (2-7) 10-7 to move to within one win of locking up the Water Bugs’ third straight playoff berth and their fourth in the last five years. The Bugs won despite being held to just 198 yards of total offense, scoring their only touchdown on a fourth-quarter fumble recovery in the end zone.

Vik (7-2) remains in second thanks to a 24-21 win over Jang (3-6). Texas (6-3) took sole possession of third place with a 31-10 win over New Rodina (1-8). The Earthlings have now won three straight.

Bord, Neptune, Jupiter and Sheb are all 5-4 and all tied for fourth in the Solar Division.

Jupiter won for the first time since Week Four by defeating D’Kow 27-10. Jacks quarterback Don Pine threw for three touchdowns and 281 yards.

Deaths

No deaths reported this week.

Offensive Player of the Week

Ionath quarterback Quentin Barnes, who went 26-of-32 for 392 yards and four touchdown passes in the Krakens’ 41-35 win over Themala.

Defensive Player of the Week

Hittoni Hullwalkers middle linebacker Kitiara Lomax, who recorded 15 solo tackles and three sacks in the Hullwalkers’ 24-20 upset over Wabash.