Careful, some part of my brain whispered. The way Szilard had phrased his comment seemed to suggest that he thought I might have had information from other sources. Which I had, but it seemed impossible that he would know that. If he did and I lied, I would be deeply into a world of shit. Decisions, decisions.
“I knew of our planned attack,” I said. “Perhaps that made me overconfident.”
“So you admit that what you said to General Gau could have indicated to him that our attack was imminent,” Berkeley said.
“I doubt that he saw anything more in it than the bravado of a colony leader, trying to save his own people,” I said.
“Nevertheless, you can see how, from the perspective of the Colonial Union, your actions could have jeopardized the mission and the safety not only of your colony but of the Colonial Union,” Butcher said.
“My actions could be interpreted any number of ways,” I said. “I can’t give credence to any other interpretation aside from my own. My interpretation is that I was doing what I thought was necessary to protect my colony and my colonists.”
“In your conversation with General Gau you admit that you shouldn’t have made him the offer to withdraw his fleet,” Berekely said. “You knew that what you were offering the general was contrary to our wishes, which implies rather strongly that we had made our wishes known to you. If the general had had the presence of mind to follow your line of reasoning, the attack would have been obvious.”
I paused. This was getting ridiculous. It wasn’t to say that I wasn’t expecting a railroading in this inquiry, just that I had expected it to be a little more subtle than this. But I suppose Butcher had noted that things were hectic and rushed recently; I don’t know why my inquiry would be any different. “I don’t know what to say to that line of reasoning,” I said. “I did what I thought was the right thing for me to do.”
Butcher and Berkeley gave each other a quick sidelong glance. They had gotten what they wanted out of the inquiry; as far as they were concerned the inquiry was over. I focused on my shoes.
“What do you think of General Gau?”
I looked up, entirely surprised. General Szilard sat there, once again blandly awaiting my answer. Butcher and Berkeley also looked surprised; whatever Szilard was doing, it was apparently off the script.
“I’m not sure I understand the question,” I said.
“Sure you do,” Szilard said. “You spent a reasonable amount of time with General Gau, and I’m sure you have had time to reflect and speculate on the nature of the general, both before and after the destruction of the Conclave fleet. Given your knowledge of him, what do you think of him?”
Oh, fuck, I thought. There was no doubt in my mind that Szilard knew I knew more about General Gau and the Conclave than the information the Colonial Union gave me. How he knew that was a matter I could table for now. The question was how to answer the question.
You’re already screwed, I thought. Butcher and Berkeley were already clearly planning to punt me to Colonial Affairs Court, where my trial on whatever charge (I was assuming incompetence, although dereliction of duty was not out of the question, and for that matter, neither was treason) would be short and not especially sweet. I had been working under the assumption that Szilard’s presence was his way of making sure he got a result he wanted—he couldn’t have been pleased at the idea of me potentially messing with his mission—but now I wasn’t at all sure. Suddenly I hadn’t the first damn clue what Szilard really wanted from this inquiry. Only that no matter what I said here, I was already done for.
Well, it was an official inquiry. That meant it was going into the Colonial Union archives. So what the hell.
“I think he’s an honorable man,” I said.
“Excuse me?” Berkeley said.
“I said, I think he’s an honorable man,” I repeated. “He didn’t simply attempt to destroy Roanoke, for one thing. He offered to spare my colonists or allow them to join the Conclave. None of the information the Colonial Union gave me indicated that these were options. In information I got—that all the colonists at Roanoke got, through me—was that Gau and the Conclave were simply wiping out the colonies that they discovered. It’s why we kept our heads down for an entire year.”
“Simply saying to you that he was going to allow your colonists to surrender doesn’t mean that he would do any such thing,” Berkeley said. “Surely as a former CDF commander you understand the value of disinformation, and providing such to your enemy.”
“I don’t think Roanoke colony would have qualified as an enemy,” I said. “There are fewer than three thousand of us against four hundred twelve capital ships. There were no defenses we could bring to bear, no possible military advantage in securing our surrender simply to destroy us. That would have been profoundly cruel.”
“You’re not aware of the psychological value of cruelty in warfare?” Berkeley said.