Sagan changed the subject. “You said that it’s possible Boutin’s consciousness might not even be in Dirac’s brain anymore,” she said.
“It’s possible,” Cainen said. “The consciousness needs input; without it, it dissipates. That’s one reason why it’s near impossible to keep a consciousness pattern coherent outside the brain, and why Boutin’s a genius for doing it. My suspicion is that if Boutin’s consciousness was in there, it’s already leaked away, and you’ve got just another soldier on your hands. But there’s no way to tell whether it’s in there or not. Its pattern would be subsumed by Private Dirac’s consciousness.”
“If it is in there, what would wake it up?” Sagan asked.
“You’re asking me to speculate?” Cainen asked. Sagan nodded. “The reason you couldn’t access the Boutin consciousness in the first place is that the brain didn’t have memory and experience. Maybe as your Private Dirac accumulates experiences, one will be close enough in its substance to unlock some part of that consciousness.”
“And then he’d become Charles Boutin,” Sagan said.
“He might,” Cainen said. “Or he might not. Private Dirac has his own consciousness now. His own sense of self. If Boutin’s consciousness woke up, it wouldn’t be the only consciousness in there. It’s up to you to decide whether that’s good or bad, Lieutenant Sagan. I can’t tell you that, or what would truly happen if Boutin got woken up.”
“Those are the things I needed you to tell me,” Sagan said.
Cainen gave the Rraey equivalent of a chuckle. “Get me a lab,” he said. “Then I might be able to give you some answers.”
“I thought you said you would never help us,” Sagan said.
Cainen switched back to English. “Much time to think,” he said. “Too much time. Language lessons not enough.” And then back to Ckann. “And this doesn’t help you against my people. But it helps you.”
“Me?” Sagan said. “I know why you helped me this time; I bribed you with computer access. Why would you help me beyond this? I made you a prisoner.”
“And you struck me with a disease that will kill me if I don’t get a daily dose of antidote from my enemies,” Cainen said. He reached into the shallow desk moulded from the wall of the cell and pulled out a small injector. “My medicine,” he said. “They allow me to self-administer. Once I decided not to inject myself, to see if they would let me die. I’m still here, so that’s the answer to that. But they let me writhe on the floor for hours first. Just like you did, come to think of it.”
“None of this explains why you would want to help me,” Sagan said.
“Because you remembered me,” Cainen said. “To everyone else, I am just another one of your many enemies, barely worth providing a book to keep me from going insane with boredom. One day they could simply forget my antidote and let me die, and it would be all the same to them. You at least see me as having value. In the very small universe I live in now, that makes you my best and only friend, enemy though you are.”
Sagan stared at Cainen, remembering the haughtiness of him the first time they met. He was pitiful and craven now, and that momentarily struck Sagan as the saddest thing she’d ever seen.
“I’m sorry,” she said, and was surprised the words came out of her mouth.
Another Rraey chuckle from Cainen. “We were planning to destroy your people, Lieutenant,” Cainen said. “And we still might. You needn’t feel too apologetic.”
Sagan had nothing to say to that. She signaled to the brig officer that she was ready to leave; a guard came and stood with an Empee while the cell door opened.
As the door slid shut behind her, she turned back to Cainen. “Thank you for your help. I will ask about a lab,” she said.
“Thank you,” Cainen said. “I won’t get my hopes up.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Sagan said.
“And Lieutenant,” Cainen said. “A thought. Your Private Dirac will be participating in your military actions.”
“Yes,” Sagan said.
“Watch him,” Cainen said. “In humans and Rraey both, the stress of battle leaves permanent marks on our brains. It’s a primal experience. If Boutin is still in there, it might be war that brings him out. Either by itself or through some combination of experiences.”
“How do you suggest I watch him in battle?” Sagan asked.
“That’s your department,” Cainen said. “Except for when you captured me, I’ve never been to war. I couldn’t begin to tell you. But if you’re worried about Dirac, that’s what I would do if I were you. You humans have an expression: ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ It seems like your Private Dirac could be both. I’d keep him very close indeed.”