“I am still sorry,” Sagan said.
“Then repay that debt to me,” Cainen said. “Help me die.”
“How would I do that?” Sagan said.
“In my studies of human culture I’ve learned about seppuku,” Cainen said. “Do you know it?” Sagan shook her head. “Ritual suicide, from your Japanese people. The ritual includes a Kaishakunin, a second—someone who eases the pain of the person committing seppuku by killing them at the moment of their greatest agony. I would choose to die from the disease you inflicted on me, Lieutenant Sagan, but I fear that when the agony is greatest I would cry for mercy, as I did the very first time, shaming myself and setting myself in motion on the path that led us here. A second would keep me from that shame. I ask you to be my second, Lieutenant Sagan.”
“I don’t think the Colonial Defense Forces will allow me to kill you,” Sagan said. “Outside of combat.”
“Yes, and I find that ironic beyond belief,” Cainen said. “However, in this case they will. I’ve already asked General Mattson for permission, and he has granted it. I’ve also asked General Szilard for permission for you to be my second. He has granted it.”
“What will you do if I refuse?” Sagan asked.
“You know what I will do,” Cainen said. “When we first met you told me that you believed that I wanted to live, and you were right. But as I said earlier, that was a different place and a different time. In this time and place, I want to be released. If it means I do it alone, than I will be alone. But I hope that will not be the case.”
“It won’t,” Sagan said. “I accept, Cainen. I will be your second.”
“From the depths of my soul I thank you, Lieutenant Sagan, my friend.” Cainen looked to Wilson, who was crying. “And you, Harry? I asked you to attend me before and you refused. I ask you again.”
Wilson nodded, violently. “Yes,” he said. “I’ll do it, you lousy son of a bitch. I’ll be there when you die.”
“Thank you, Harry,” Cainen said, and once again turned to Sagan. “I need two days to bring things to a close here. Will you come to visit me on the third day, in the evening?”
“I’ll be there,” Sagan said.
“Your combat knife, I think, should be sufficient,” Cainen said.
“If that’s what you want,” Sagan said. “Is there anything else you would have me do for you?”
“Only one other thing,” Cainen said. “And I’ll understand if you can’t do it.”
“Name it,” Sagan said.
“I was born on the colony of Fala,” Cainen said. “I grew up there. When I die, if I can, I’d like to return there. I know it will be a difficult thing to manage.”
“I’ll manage it,” Sagan said. “Even if I have to take you there myself. I promise it, Cainen. I promise that you’ll go home.”
A month after Zo? and Sagan returned to Phoenix Station, Sagan took Zo? on a shuttle to visit the gravestone of her parents.
The shuttle pilot was Lieutenant Cloud, who asked after Jared. Sagan told him that he had passed on. Lieutenant Cloud was quiet for a moment and then began telling Sagan the jokes that Jared had told him. Sagan laughed.
At the gravestone, Sagan stood while Zo? knelt and read the names of her parents, clearly and calmly. Over the month, Sagan had seen Zo? change from the tentative girl she’d first met, seemingly younger than she really was, asking plaintively for her father, to someone happier and more talkative and closer to the age she was. Which was, as it happened, only a little younger than Sagan.
“My name is here,” Zo? said, tracing the name with her finger.
“For a while, when you were first taken, your father thought you were dead,” Sagan said.
“Well, I’m not dead,” Zo? said, defiantly.
“No,” Sagan said, and smiled. “No, you definitely are not.”
Zo? put her hand on her father’s name. “He’s not really here, is he?” Zo? asked. “Here under me.”
“No,” Sagan said. “He died on Arist. That was where you were before we came here.”
“I know,” Zo? said, and looked over to Sagan. “Mr. Jared died there too, didn’t he?”
“He did,” Sagan said.
“He said he knew me, but I didn’t really remember him,” Zo? said.
“He did know you, but it’s hard to explain,” Sagan said. “I’ll explain it to you when you’re older.”
Zo? looked at the tombstone again. “All the people who knew me have gone away,” she said, in a small, singsong voice. “All my people are gone.”
Sagan got down on her knees behind Zo? and gave her a small but fierce hug. “I’m so sorry, Zo?.”
“I know,” Zo? said. “I’m sorry too. I miss Daddy and Mommy and I even miss Mr. Jared a little, even though I didn’t know him very much.”
“I know they miss you too,” Sagan said. She came around to face Zo?. “Listen, Zo?, soon I’m going to be going to a colony, where I’m going to live. If you want, you can come with me.”
“Will it just be you and me?” Zo? said.