"We're just all in excellent shape now," Jesse said. "I was telling John that this body is in far better shape than my real one ever was."
Maggie suddenly spoke up. "I say that, too," she said. "I say 'my real body' when I mean 'my old body.' It's as if this body isn't real to me yet."
"It's real enough, sister," Susan said. "You still have to pee with it. I know."
"This from the woman who criticized me for oversharing," Thomas said.
"My point, because I did have one," Jesse said, "is that while they were toning up our bodies, they took some time to tone up the rest of us as well."
"Agreed," Harry said. "But that's not telling us why they did it."
"It's so we bond," Maggie said.
Everyone stared. "Well, look who's coming out of her shell."
"Bite me, Susan." Maggie said. Susan grinned. "Look, it's basic human psychology that we're inclined to like people who we find attractive. Moreover, everyone in this room, even us, are basically strangers to each other, and have few if any ties to bring us together in a short time. Making us all look good to each other is a way to promote bonding, or will be, once we start training."
"I don't see how it's going to help the army if we're all too busy ogling each other to fight," Thomas said.
"It's not about that," Maggie said. "Sexual attraction is just a side issue here. It's a matter of quickly instilling trust and devotion. People instinctively trust and want to help people they find attractive, regardless of sexual desire. It's why newscasters are always attractive. It's why attractive people don't have to work as hard in school."
"But we're all attractive now," I said. "In the land of the incredibly attractive, the merely good-looking could be in trouble."
"And even now, some of us look better than others," Thomas said. "Every time I look at Maggie, I feel like the oxygen is being sucked from the room. No offense, Maggie."
"None taken," Maggie said. "The baseline here isn't each other as we are now, anyway. It's how we all appeared before. In the short term, that's reflexively the baseline we'll use, and a short-term advantage is all they'd be looking for anyway."
"So you're saying that you don't feel oxygen-deprived when you look at me," Susan said to Thomas.
"It's not meant to be an insult," Thomas said.
"I'll remember that when I'm strangling you," Susan said. "Speaking of oxygen-deprived."
"Stop flirting, you two," Alan said, and turned his attention to Maggie. "I think you're right about the attraction thing, but I think you're forgetting the one person we're supposed to be the most attracted to: ourselves. For better or worse, these bodies we're in are still alien to us. I mean, between the fact that I'm green and I've got a computer named 'Dipshit' in my head—" He stopped, and looked at us all. "What did you all name your BrainPals?"
"Asshole," I said.
"Bitch," Jesse said.
"Dickwad," said Thomas.
"Fuckhead," said Harry.
"Satan," said Maggie.
"Sweetie," said Susan. "Apparently, I'm the only one who likes my BrainPal."
"More like you were the only one who wasn't disturbed by having a voice suddenly appear in your skull," Alan said. "But this is my point. Suddenly becoming young and having massive physical and mechanical changes takes a toll on one's psyche. Even if we're glad to be young again—and I know I am—we're still going to be alienated from our new selves. Making us look good to ourselves is one way to help us get 'settled in.'"
"These are crafty people we're dealing with," Harry said with ominous finality.
"Oh, lighten up, Harry," Jesse said, and gave him a little nudge. "You're the only person I know who would turn being young and sexy into a dark conspiracy."
"You think I'm sexy?" Harry said.
"You're dreamy, sweetheart," Jesse said, and batted her eyes dramatically at him.
Harry cracked a goofy grin. "That's the first time this century anyone's said that to me. Okay, I'm sold."
The man who stood in front of the theater full of recruits was a battle-tested veteran. Our BrainPals informed us that he'd been in the Colonial Defense Forces for fourteen years and had participated in several battles, the names of which meant nothing to us now, but no doubt would at some point in the future. This man had gone to new places, met new races and exterminated them on sight. He looked all of twenty-three years old.