My Soul to Keep

CHAPTER 5



I expected to see her Harley out in the driveway but she apparently owned a pink Volkswagen Beetle, too. Did it have to be pink? One of the seniors at J.U.H.S had the same exact car and every time I saw it I fought the urge to hurl. The cars were ugly enough, paint them pink and they should be illegal.

“Nice car,” I lied to Clarisse.

“Bite me. It’s cute.”

“After seeing you on the motorcycle, I didn’t think you did cute.”

“It’s my school car. If you show up to school on a Harley, people talk.”

“You seriously go to school? I thought you were a billion years old or something.” My words stopped her in her tracks. I thought I’d seriously offended her, but she had a strange look plastered on her face.

“You don’t know do you?”

“Know what?”

“You’ve seen my car before, right?”

“There’s a girl at my school...”

“You are such a dork. Yes, I go to the same high school as you. How do you think I found you? I’ve got so much to teach you and so little time to do it. We’ll do the whole day today, and I’ll keep up the instruction every day after school. Just think of me as your new BFF.”

I groaned inwardly at the thought, but managed to keep it inside this time. Maybe hanging out with a senior wouldn’t be a bad thing. I wondered how popular she was. I don’t remember ever seeing her at school, so I couldn’t say. “Where are we going?”

“I know a small field outside of town, perfect for what we need. Nobody ever goes there.”

“What if my mom calls to check on me?”

“I already planted it in her head you need your rest and if you need anything you’ll call. I have everything covered.” She unlocked the sub-subcompact car with a push of a button and the engine roared (okay, maybe purred) to life. She hopped in the driver’s seat and I walked around the back of the car to the passenger’s door. I opened it and slid in, praying to whomever that nobody saw me in the pink monstrosity.

She backed out of the driveway without looking and took off out of my neighborhood. We passed the mall and hit the highway heading for God knows where. For all I knew, Clarisse planned on driving me out to the middle of nowhere to kill me and hide my body. She didn’t seem to like me very much. I thought about everything that happened over the past day. I sort of felt homesick. I still lived at home with my parents and my evil sister, but everything had changed. I wanted everything to be like it was. Since I'd already sold my soul, I didn’t have much to bargain with.

“What are the Fallen?” I said it quietly, but Clarisse heard me.

“What do you think we are?” I didn’t like how she said, “We are.” I would have preferred, “I am."

“Some sort of demons?”

“It depends on who you ask. I’ll say this. Forget everything you’ve ever learned about heaven and hell. Most of it is just propaganda spread by the church to make humans behave. Basically you have this reality and the otherworld. Human beings have souls, and when their bodies cease to function their souls move on. Sometimes they find a place there, and sometimes they come back to this reality in a different body. Humans call it reincarnation and it’s real. We Otherworlders used to be one big happy family. We were enamored with the humans when they first came to be. Then the Time of Troubles came.”

“What’s the Time of Troubles?”

“When the Chosen and the Fallen split. We used to be one race of beings and now we are two. Our compassion for the humans forced us to take sides in the war. Our side got the shit end of the stick and received the title Fallen Ones.”

“You’re not going to tell me you’re an angel?”

“Angels are what the humans called us, but not what we called ourselves. The others have white feathery wings, but they refer to themselves as the Chosen.”

“That seems a little pompous. Couldn’t they have thought of something cooler?”

“If you ever meet one, and pray you don’t, you’ll understand why. Snooty doesn’t begin to describe them. Basically they believe in the utopian theory. If they come across anything that goes against their harmony, they have a tendency to destroy it. The Fallen are major benefactors of ‘free will’ while the Chosen only believe in ‘do what you’re told’”.

“What about God? What does he have to say about all this?”

“The Creator? He created both worlds and gave everyone free will. The Creator loves all his children but holds to the tenant most parents follow. You give life and you guide. If you try to control your children they have a tendency to do the exact opposite. The Fallen believe the same thing. Free will is more important than anything else. The Chosen believe The Creator wants them to control everyone and everything, to make it perfect.”

“They sound like a bunch of arrogant dicks.”

“Yes, they are. It’s why we left. We live among the mortals now, seeking souls to join us against them. It’s why we do what we do. We still have several small kingdoms in the otherworld and the souls we enlist live there or even sometimes here. Somebody who sells us their soul to fulfill their desires gets a choice. Their souls can live in our otherworld kingdoms, spreading our word, or they can come back to earth in another body, but the spark giving them life belongs to our side. The Chosen have used mortals of considerable power to portray us as the bad guys, but really we’re not. Even you used the word demon. When we lost the first war, they stripped us of our feathers to mock us. We were just severely outnumbered. Now we wear our wings with pride.”

“So what does it mean to be a Fallen? What do I do with the rest of my life?”

“There are many types of Fallen. Some are Seekers, some are Reapers. There are Warriors and Scholars, Protectors and Avengers. Each one of us has a calling. Until you know what it is, we’ll start you out as a Seeker.”

“What’s a Seeker?”

“We’re the ones who find souls. I’m a Seeker. I’m the one who found you. I’m the one who whispered in your ear how to fulfill your every wish. I just didn’t know you’d screw it up so badly.”

“What’s Darius?”

“Darius is a Reaper. He lives in one of our kingdoms in the otherworld. He’s actually more than that. He governs all the Reapers.”

“What does a Reaper do?”

“They collect the souls when its time.”

I tried very hard not to think about that.

* * *

The Beetle skidded to a stop in an empty field of grass surrounded by a forest of cedar trees. How Clarisse knew about the place was beyond me. For all I knew she could have been flying over it one day.

Without so much as a glance, she opened the door and stepped out of the car into the chilly October day. I stared at her through the windshield as she looked up and closed her eyes, facing the sun. I hate to admit it, but she really was pretty. Her dark hair sparkled and her skin was completely flawless.

“Stop staring and get out here, worm.”

Too bad her personality didn’t match her looks.

I opened my door and went out to join her in the field. I briefly wondered why we needed such a large open space. With a resounding thwump her wings sprouted and spread to their full length beside her. Oh, flying lessons.

“Take off the orb, worm.”

I nodded and pulled the ring from my finger. I went back to the car and set it in one of the built in cup holders molded into the center console. I started to back away, but watched as the orb turned into an empty fast food drink cup complete with lid and chewed up straw.

I smiled at its choice of camouflage. “Those things are pretty cool.”

“Yes, they are. Our Scholars spent centuries perfecting them. You won’t need it when I’m through with you though. I’ll let you keep it until you can control your transformations. Concentrate now. Think of your wings and spread them.”

I closed my eyes and heard a thwump, but when I opened my eyes with a triumphant smile, I saw only one. Unless we were going to practice flying in circles, I was screwed. I closed my eyes and tried again. Thwump,I looked and saw the other wing. I smiled and looked at Clarisse, but she rolled her eyes and shook her head. Confused, I looked around and saw the first one had gone away again. It was harder than it looked.

“Try again.”

I closed my eyes and thought of both wings sprouting magnificently from my back. I heard another thwump and quickly looked behind me. I saw two wings alright, but they weren’t right. They looked like tiny bat wings. I tried not to laugh when they started flapping comically on their own. Clarisse sighed and I looked over to see her sit on the grass and stretch her legs out to tan her already bronzed skin. I guess she figured it would take a while.

Thwump, they were a little bigger.

Thwump, they were normal sized, but matched the color of her car.

Thwump, they hung from my back completely boneless.

“Clarisse, I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can.” Apparently she'd grown bored while waiting.

She stood, pulling an evil looking knife from somewhere behind her and launched it at me full force. Without thinking I launched myself into the air and heard a resounding thwump. I willed myself higher, away from the path of the spinning blade. With a powerful down-stroke of my wings I cleared it by inches.

“Good work, worm.”

I hovered in the air and looked at her like she'd grown seven extra heads. At that moment, I realized I hovered ten feet above the ground. If I didn’t think about trying to control it, my wings knew exactly what to do. I thought about moving forward, and fell from the sky. I landed on my face in the soft grass.

Spitting out chunks of sod as I stood, I willed myself upward. I willed myself forward. I willed myself to make a graceful circle around the meadow and it worked perfectly. I just needed to think about where I wanted to go instead of thinking how to get there. It was the greatest feeling in the world.

With a smile I landed next to Clarisse who almost looked shocked. “Very good. I’m impressed. Go back to being human.”

This time instead of closing my eyes and thinking about my wings disappearing, I thought about pretzels. I know, it seems weird, but to me it's what being human was all about. It’s not about pretzels, it’s about being human. Finding what you really like, doing it, and remembering what it is you love. I just happen to love soft pretzels. I heard a thwump, and started walking closer to Clarisse, knowing without a shadow of a doubt my wings were gone.

“Now you’re getting it. Try this,” she said and completely faded from view.

“Where’d you go?”

“Nowhere, I’m right here. You just can’t see me.”

“You turned invisible?”

“No, I told your mind I’m invisible. There’s a big difference. Try it.”

Instead of focusing on her, I focused on my mind first. I told it she stood in the same clearing as me and I could see her. She started coming back in streaks of visible clothing and I knew she'd moved to the left. I stared at her and concentrated until she became completely visible, holding up one hand, and giving me the finger.

I flicked her one back.

“Very good, worm. One day when you’re more used to being a Fallen I won’t be able to cloud your mind at all. Try it with me, and I’ll try to pretend I’m human.”

I looked at her, but not at her eyes. I stared straight at her forehead like she had a giant zit. I stared and I whispered with my mind, “I’m not here.” I stepped to the side. Her eyes didn’t shift with me, so I figured it worked. I closed the distance between us quickly and received a sharp smack in the face when I got within two feet of her.

“You faded from view perfectly, but you forgot I can hear. I heard you coming from a mile away. Good work but remember the sounds next time.”

I stopped concentrating and she turned and looked at my eyes. I nodded at her and rubbed the side of my head. For a girl she hit hard, damn hard.

“Are you hungry?” I nodded at her question. “Let’s get a pretzel, come on.”