My Soul to Keep

CHAPTER 20



Uncomfortable silence filled the inside of the Escalade like…well an uncomfortable silence. There's nothing quite like it. I sat next to Jessie in the back seat. I'd purposely sat on the passenger's side so he wouldn't be staring at me in the rear view mirror the entire ride. He moved it.

I could feel his eyes boring into me like twin titanium drill bits. I did the only thing I could think of. I stared at Jessie. I kept a dumb smile plastered on my face until he started asking questions. Mr. James was a man who wouldn't be ignored.

"So, are your parents home, Connor?"

"They should be shortly, sir."

"Will you have them call me when they get there? Just to make sure?"

"Of course, sir."

"Just call me when you're done, I'll come pick Jessie up."

"If you'd like, I'm sure my parents wouldn’t mind bringing her home, sir."

"If you're sure. That would be great. I have some work to do tonight. Thank you, Conrad."

"Connor, Daddy."

"Close enough," I said with a small chuckle.

He pulled the Suburban over to the side of the road in front of my house. I made to open the door but it wouldn't budge.

"Oh, sorry. I have the child locks on," Mr. James said sweetly from the front seat.

I looked at Jessie and she had a strange look on her face. I shrugged and waited for Mr. James to get out, walk around, and open the door from the outside. He might have done it to aggravate me but in the end he ended up looking like a chauffeur.

I stepped out of the car and held out my hand to Jessie. She wasn't expecting it and almost slid into it. I reached down and touched her hand. Her unusual look turned into a smile. I loved the feeling of her skin against mine. I loved it a lot. Whole bunches.

"Thanks, Connor."

"Anytime, Jess. Come on. Let's go get that report done." I turned and totally ignored Mr. James. I refused to even look at him. If he wanted to be childish, I would play his game. He would be sorry when he found out just how childish I could be.

"Bye, Daddy," she called over her shoulder.

I finally started breathing again once we were inside and I had my back against the front door. "That was fun."

"I'm starting to think you're right."

"About what?"

"My father doesn't like you."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or cringe. If she only knew…

"You want something to drink, Jess?"

"Do you have Coke?"

"No, my parents are Pepsi people. I hate the crap. They compensate by buying me Mountain Dew. They think it has less caffeine than coke. Don't tell 'em."

"I won't. Pepsi's fine."

I gasped. "I'm sorry, Jess, but I'm going to have to break up with you now."

"I didn't realize we were seeing each other…"

I stopped halfway to the kitchen. I'm such an ass. I just assumed. I turned and walked back to where I'd left her standing in the middle of the living room. I gently took her hand and led her over to the couch. The orange and red nightmare couch. Jess was lucky she couldn't see. She probably would have dumped me if she saw our furniture.

I leaned in and whispered the word, "Sit." I held her hand as she slowly lowered herself on the couch. I knelt down in front of her and gently pushed my way in between her knees. If she'd been wearing a skirt, I wouldn't have tried it. Jeans were a different story. She smiled when she felt me getting closer. When I got too close, she smiled even bigger and grabbed my waist with her knees.

"That's close enough, Mr. Sullivan."

I smiled and grabbed her hand in both of mine. "Jessica James, would you do the honor of going out with me? Would you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes. It's about damn time you asked, too." She laughed and leaned forward. Her arms closed around my back as she kissed me. Of course my parents chose that exact moment to walk through the front door.

"Connor!" My mom sounded like she'd caught us naked.

"Connor?" My father sounded surprised. "Connor!" He changed his tone after Mom elbowed him in the ribs.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan. It's my fault. Connor finally asked me out and I kissed him.”

I found my parents reaction a little irritating. If I had said it, they would have duct-taped me to the radiator in my room. When Jessie said it, my mom started squealing and jumping up and down like a little girl. She ran for the couch, bowled me out of the way, and grabbed Jessie's hands in hers. She pulled Jessie off the couch and hugged her like she was part of the family. I looked over at Dad and he gave me a thumbs up.

"Hey, Dad. Would you call Mr. James and let him know you and Mom are home to supervise the evil boy and his innocent daughter? He was worried about leaving the two of us unattended. I told him we had child safety latches on all the cabinets and outlets, but he didn't believe me."

"Connor Sullivan! You show Mr. James some respect. He could be your father-in-law one day. Twenty years from now."

"I was kidding, Mom. I didn't say that."

"Sure," Dad said and gave me another thumbs up.

"He didn't Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan. He was very polite. He even used the word sir."

Mom beamed. Dad looked a little disappointed. I rolled my eyes. "You want to go out on the back porch, Jess?" I wanted to ask if she wanted to hang out in my room, but I didn't want the rents to have a seizure.

"Sure," she said and held out her hand. I quickly grabbed it and led her out the back door to the wrought iron patio set. I helped her in one of the ancient chairs and pulled mine over next to her. As I sat, I reached down and held her hand. Hers tightened over mine. I sat there and thought back to the happiest times of my life. This one topped those by several orders of magnitude.

"It's cold," Jessie said.

"You want another jacket?"

"I'd rather sit in your lap and have you put your arms around me. Would your parents flip?"

"Probably, but I don't care. Not even a little."

She quickly stood up and felt around her. She grabbed the arms of my chair and used them to guide herself into my lap nestling her face in my neck. That order of magnitude thing I had been thinking about earlier rose a few more notches. Now I knew what heaven must be like.

That thought made me shift in my seat a little. Jessie felt me beneath her. "What's wrong? Are your parents freaking?"

"No," I said and looked back at the door to make sure they weren't spying on us. I thought I caught Dad's smile, but I couldn't be sure. "I just remembered, we need to work on our costumes."

"Oh, I have mine already. Don't tell anybody, but I've been an angel every Halloween for as long as I can remember. My dad sort of insists."

"Sweet. It fits you perfectly."

"Dork," she said but giggled.

"Your dork," I said and smiled. I liked the sound of that. Jessie must have too because she snuggled in closer and let out a little sigh.

We sat and I watched the stars in silence for a little while. Then Jessie's lips found my neck and she started planting gentle kisses. I started stroking her hand. She brought it up to my face and started feeling. I knew blind people use their hands to feel people's faces to see what they looked like. Jessie started at my eyebrows and forehead and started caressing everywhere.

"You're handsome," she whispered.

"You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." She smiled but seemed sad at the same time. "What's the matter, Jess?"

"I accepted being blind a long time ago, but I really, really want to see you right now."

"Trust me, you'd be disappointed."

"Connor, I hate to break it to you, but you could have glowing red eyes and horns and I'd still think you were gorgeous."

I nearly dropped her off my lap. "Huh?"

"Relax! Sheesh, I was kidding. Sort of. You would make a handsome devil though."

I realized she was teasing and relaxed. She snuggled back in closer than before and I forgot all about it. I wish she could see me, too. She wasn't dating the handsomest kid in school and she deserved to know that. I mean, I was good looking in my true form, but my human form still left a little to be desired. I wished there was some way she could see me…

It hit me. I could return her sight. All it would take is a bit of magic. And one hefty price tag. The more I thought about it the worse the feeling in my stomach grew. What about her soul? Would it be worth it? Could I take that chance?

Maybe you don't have to…

Huh?

Maybe she doesn't have to give up her soul. Maybe you could just grant her wish…

I'd never had a conversation with myself. I didn't like it. But the possibility of healing Jessie, of making her whole, made me a little giddy. I thought about asking Clarisse first, but then thought better of the idea. Maybe it was a violation of the Fallen to give out free wishes. If I just did it, I could claim ignorance later…

I remembered how it felt to turn the one kid into a vampire. I tried to do the same to Jessie. The magic wouldn't come. I could feel it inside me, but it seemed to be waiting for something. I knew exactly what it wanted. I just didn't think I could do it.

"I wish there were some way I could make you better," I whispered to Jessie.

She turned and looked up at me. I saw the single tear rolling down her cheek and my heart sank further. "I know, baby. Thank you." She leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my lips.

"If I could, I'd sell my soul to make you better," I said and meant it.

"That's about the only thing I wouldn't be willing to trade for it. Your soul is safe. Mine on the other hand…"

"Don't tell me you'd give your soul to be able to see."

"Absolutely not. To see you, maybe…"

A single tear rolled down my cheek. I couldn't stand it. I had the power to give her exactly what she wanted. I just couldn't do it. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. "Would you freak out if I told you something?"

"You better not be dumping me. If it's that, I might."

"Ha! That is something you never need worry about."

She settled back against my chest. "Good. So what is it you want to tell me?"

"I think I lo– I mean I think I lo– Jessie, I lo–" I couldn't do it. The word wouldn't leave my lips. I knew how I felt and I didn't have one doubt in my mind. Now if I could just get my lips to cooperate…

"Connor Sullivan, are you trying to tell me that you loathe me?"

I gasped. "No! I'm trying to say–"

"You like me?" I could hear the playfulness in her voice.

I sighed. "Is that okay?"

"It's better than okay. It's perfect. And in case you were wondering…I like you, too."

She sat up and turned around in my lap. She threw her arms around my head and kissed me again. I could get very used to this.

"Mom says knock it off and come eat dinner," Caelyn's disgusted voice broke our kiss. I tried to ignore it, but Jessie pulled away.