CHAPTER Twenty-Four
Later that afternoon, I’m sitting on my bed, staring at the necklace Lydia gave to me in the diner. The sunlight streaming through my window illuminates the diamond, and I can see angles and shapes, deep inside, that I never noticed before. It is so familiar, the stone I saw on my mother’s finger whenever she pushed me on a swing or stirred marshmallows into a mug of hot cocoa for me.
I pick up the necklace and hold it before me, swinging like a pendulum. I’m overcome with the need to put it on, to hold that part of my mother close to my heart. My hands shaking, I fasten the clasp around my neck, and then look down. The pendant rests at the hollow of my throat as if it was always meant to be there.
My eyelids start to droop, and I lower myself onto my pillow. These last few days have been exhausting. I allow myself to drift away, and the edges of the room become fuzzy. Then all is black.
I’m standing in our kitchen, rinsing tomatoes in the sink. My hands scrub the dirt from the firm, red fruit. The fingers are long, tipped with pale pink nail polish. I’ve slid into Lydia. She must have left some emotional residue on the necklace. Maybe she misses my mother more than I realized.
I hear my father’s voice, talking about something funny that happened at work today, a story about a nurse whose husband sent her a gift certificate to a nearby gym for their anniversary. He sounds relaxed and happy—the most carefree he’s been in months.
“How horrible,” Lydia says, but her giggles betray her. She glances up from her work to smile at my father, who takes her laughter as a sign of encouragement and launches into another story.
I should be glad that my father has someone to tell his boring stories to, someone who appreciates them more than Mattie or I do. But I can’t help but feel disgusted. Why didn’t he tell me the truth about Lydia? Is he starting to have feelings for her again? Do I detect a note of flirtation in his jokes?
When I slide out of the domestic scene, I am immersed in dread. Lydia said she wanted to get to know us better, really be a part of our family. Could she have meant that literally? She’s already won over my sister. What if she puts the moves on my father? Is it possible she could be aiming to reclaim his affection?
I sit up and look around. My room is just as it was when I fell asleep, the violet walls darkening as the sun dips lower in the sky. The chain around my neck pulls taut, caught on a knot in my hair. I look down in dismay at the necklace. If I wear the necklace, I will always risk sliding into Lydia. It’s now tainted.
I reach behind my neck and undo the clasp, pulling the necklace free. Carefully, I return it to the red velvet box and hide it in my bottom drawer, along with Scotch’s father’s glove and the various other items I’ve collected that allow me to slide into others.
I go to my mother’s rocking chair and sit down, pressing my face against the wood worn smooth over the years. I close my eyes and think of her and my father, how they used to laugh together in the kitchen while they prepared dinner. Now, Lydia is the one making my father smile, and I can’t stand it.
My father and Lydia are strangely giddy at dinner. They’ve each had a couple of glasses of wine, and they keep looking at each other and grinning and then looking away. Their thinly veiled flirtations make my stomach churn.
My father’s eyes gleam as he laughs at one of Lydia’s stories about her students in California. It must be impossible for him to not see Mom in Lydia when he looks at her. Doesn’t he see that it’s a betrayal, for him to reconnect with Mom’s sister?
Mattie, not seeming to notice the shift in tone between my father and Lydia, scoops a bite of spaghetti into her mouth. “Mmmm,” she says. “This sauce is delicious.”
“That would be Lydia’s doing,” my father says. “She shared a new recipe with me.” I think of my mother’s cookbook, stashed away, forgotten. What was wrong with her recipe?
“Hey, Dad. Did you decide whether I can go to that movie with Russ and Vee and Rollins Saturday night?”
My dad’s pleasant expression fades, replaced with confusion. “I’m sorry. Vee and Rollins and who?”
Mattie turns her attention to me. “Didn’t you talk to him yet? God, you’ve had forever.”
“Talk to me about what?”
“Russ is this guy from school. He’s a senior, but he’s really only Vee’s age. He’s just supersmart. He asked me out. I thought it would be okay if we doubled with Vee and Rollins.”
Dad crosses his arms. “Well, there’s just one problem with that. Vee is grounded.”
“What? You didn’t tell me that,” Mattie says to me. “Why are you grounded?”
I shrug, giving her a pointed look. “You don’t tell me a lot of things.”
Lydia jumps in. “It’s just a movie, Jared. What kind of trouble can she get in there?” I glare at her. I don’t need anyone to stand up for me, especially her.
Seeming to forget about my punishment, Mattie continues to nag my father. “Yeah, Dad. We’ll be home by midnight. Eleven, even. We’ll go to the early show.”
Lydia touches my father’s arm. “What do you say, Jared?”
He takes another bite of spaghetti. “Fine, fine. Be home by midnight. Both of you.” His final words are directed at me.
“Does this mean I can start hanging out with Rollins again?”
My father exchanges a look with Lydia. “I suppose so. As long as you never stay out all night again. Is that clear?”
I nod. Lydia gives me a look like she’s done me some big favor. I take a bite of my pasta and make a face, showing what I think of her special recipe.