Chapter 36: Jocelyn
Carter pulls at my right hand. I look back over my shoulder and see my brother for the last time. My free hand wipes away the tears. I follow Carter and the twins down over the embankment and into the SUV that is parked along the side of the road. Everyone jumps in the car and Carter slams on the gas. He heads north down the road. I roll the window down to get a little air, only to hear a pop way behind us. Then another. Then a final one that I barely hear over the engine and Sara's cries in the backseat.
Caitlyn pulls her sister’s head into her lap and runs her fingers through her hair. When I ran over the front lawn to Jon, I saw the bodies with the red arrows – the same red arrows still in Caitlyn’s quiver sitting beside her on the seat. The bow is on top of them. She watches as my eyes go from the bow to her.
“Are you okay?” I whisper to her.
“I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be? I'm not hurt.” She blinks at me and seems to look straight through me. I feel a chill. Caitlyn has become a child of this new world; Sara, on the other hand, is struggling.
We remain silent in the car for about another half hour before Carter breaks the silence.
“If we drive through the night, we should be able to be at the beacon by daybreak.” I nod and return my gaze to the window. In the back seat, both girls fall asleep.
Carter reaches over and grabs my left hand. I place my right hand on top of his. I stare out the window at the passing houses. I feel so tired but I don't think that I could actually fall asleep. I slowly rub the top of his hand. A few times I have to squeeze his hand to try and push the last image of my brother from my mind. When we are safe I can let it all out.
We drive all night, and few words are shared between any of us. There isn't much to say. Carter doesn't have to say why he came back; I know why.
After a few hours, Carter pulls over to refill the car with the gas cans in the trunk. He pulls out the map to double check our heading.
“We should be there within the hour.” He says to me. The girls are asleep in the backseat, but I bet they would be excited, if they could manage excitement after today. We continue our journey down the road. There is not a cloud in the sky and I stare straight up through the moon roof at the stars. At constellations. At heroes.
I wonder if Jon is up there now. The thought makes me smile briefly. It takes a lot of concentrating, but I stop the tears from falling.
“We're here,” Carter whispers. The headlights reveal an array of tents and paper scattered throughout a giant mall parking lot. We drive past a collapsed sign that reads “UN Emergency Relief and Relocation.” It's weird seeing a place that should have so much life look like a wasteland. Carter pulls between the tents and a giant helipad constructed on the corner of a parking lot leading to the mall. On the other side of the helipad are a few trees that become denser as they turn into a forest. He puts the car in park, and I look through the windows. It looks abandoned.
“Where is everybody?” Sara asks. The twins must have woken up.
Carter reaches behind his back and pulls out a gun. He checks the magazine.
“Jo, switch to the driver side. I am going to go check things out. If anything happens. Get out of here. I will meet up with you back down the road. After that, you know the drill: I have fifteen minutes to get to you before you head back to the cabin.” It bothers me how nonchalantly he describes his plan in case he dies, too. I'm tired of being told what to do if people don't come back. I can't lose anyone else today.
He opens the door and walks out, his gun up and ready. Carter shouts, “Hey, is there anyone here?” He waits. “We are peaceful; we were told we could come here for help.” Still no response. I watch him walking around in the headlights. After spiraling around, observing the area, he disappears behind a tent.
The girls and I hold our breath. One minute goes by. Another minute goes by. Then a third. I feel my pulse quickening.
Without warning the lights come on in the car. The door has opened. I turn into the back seat and the door is already slamming shut. Sara is back there alone. I watch from the car as Caitlyn goes running out, bow at the ready.
“Caitlyn, get back in here!” I yell out my rolled down window. She ignores me and disappears into the night. More minutes go by. Terror is in me. I open the glove compartment and pull out the knife I acquired from what feels like decades ago. When I sit back up I see two figures moving back toward the car.
It is Carter and Caitlyn.
When Carter’s and my eyes meet, he shrugs his shoulders and says “I guess it’s empty. Grab the flashlights. We can at least see if there is anything we can use.” Sara goes into the back and pulls out a few of our lamps. I hand them out and we begin exploring the deserted post.