Chapter 18: Caitlyn
This is the second time that Jon’s gone away, and it’s scarier than the first. He could get hurt this time. I keep falling asleep in the car, and I feel so cold. Jocelyn and Sara are talking about something, but I have no interest. Something about Jon. Both of them seem okay, so I bundle Jo's coat a little tighter. I feel an itch in my throat and cough.
“Are you okay?” Jocelyn asks from the driver's seat.
“I wanna go soon. Do you see Jon?”
“He’ll be back soon,” she replies, rolling back into her seat to get a better look where Jon ran off. She quickly shoots upright, though, and I follow her eyes to see Jon falling down the hill, with much more than the three backpacks in tow. Jo runs out to meet him. Sara giggles for a second. He looks so foolish carrying all that stuff and then rolling down the hill. Sara and I both climb out of the car to help.
“Jon!” she yells, reaching his side. Jon seems briefly dizzy, and Jo picks up two of the backpacks as the two hurry to the car. I begin to pick up a few cans that rolled to the bottom. With all our efforts we have the car loaded up. As Jon shuts the door, a smudge of red covers the trunk handle.
“Jon, you’re hurt.” Sara whimpers. “Your arm.” Jon lifts it to his eyes.
“Oh, this? I scraped it along one of the aisles trying to grab more stuff. I will cover it when we get back. It was so dark inside. The place was empty-completely different from 48 hours ago.” Sara looks relieved but something doesn't feel right about his story.
We scramble into the vehicle and head back to the cabin. I don’t want to, but I can’t keep myself from coughing. I try to be quiet the whole way home, but eventually Sara tugs at my shirt.
“Are you okay?” she asks. I try to smile and nod. Jon isn't fooled, and he looks back at me from the passenger's seat.
“What’s wrong, Cait? Do you need some water?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? How do you feel?”
My lips drop into a frown. “Bad.”
“We’re not far from home. We’ll get you back under the covers and you’ll feel much better, ok? You probably just need some good rest and a real meal. Jo will take care of you, right Jo?”
Jo looks away from the road for a second and rolls her eyes. Their interactions remind me of mom and dad sometimes. They have trouble being serious for too long. Sara likes that. I don't.
I keep my frown. “Ok.”
The ride drags on, and each pothole makes my head hurt more and more. It’s not even noon yet, and all I want is to go back to sleep. Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and feel better.
After glancing at me a few times, Jo just keeps looking over at her brother and inhaling like she wants to start saying something, but she never does. I think it is about me.
Eventually, I drift back to sleep with my head in Sara’s lap.
The car comes to an abrupt stop, and I wake up just as quickly. We’re home, and Jon wasn’t very soft on the brakes. My throat hurts really badly, and I have to cringe to swallow. I let out another whimper, stretching and trying to make the soreness in my arms and legs go away.
We head into the cabin and Jocelyn tucks me into bed. Jon grabs the first aid kit and sets it on the table. He takes off his coat so that he can tend to his cut. Jocelyn and Sara begin to store some of the stuff Jon found away but after awhile she asks Sara to go outside and fill one of the buckets with water at the pump. I try to close my eyes and fall asleep.
When I hear the door slam, there is a moment of silence. I keep my eyes closed but I hear both of them whisper to one another.
“Jon, what really happened to your arm? Your face looks puffy, too.'
“I'm telling the truth”
“Don't lie to me.”
“I'm not!” Their voices begin to get louder.
“Jon you don't just fall and get a cut on your arm and the beginning of a black eye. Tell me the truth. Now.”
“I fell while the lights were flickering. Leave it the hell alone.”
“How can we expect to make it if you’re not even honest with me?”
“I am honest with you. You’re the only thing I care about in this screwed up world.”
“Then why are you lying?” They are nearly yelling at one another.
“This is the truth. Now leave...it...alone.”
“You're unbelievable.” She swears at him.
Listening to Jo and Jon argue is kind of scary. I can feel my heart beating. The more I focus on it, though, the quicker it slows down. That just lets my mind go back to my chills and headache. It takes some time, but I’m finally able to shut my eyes and drift into an uncomfortable sleep.
* * *
Each day I feel worse and worse. Almost a week has gone by since I started to feel awful. My head feels like it is on fire but I feel cold at the same time.
Initially, they worried that maybe I had gotten the plague somehow. Jo checked every inch of me for the rash, but she said I was clear. The possibility of having the plague made me really upset, so it was relieving to know that it was something else. Jon and Jocelyn have looked over a few book s they found in the ranger’s cabin, but so far they haven't been able to figure out what is wrong with me. We have all the medicine, but they are each afraid to give me anything. So my job is to stay in bed and eat when I can and hope that the ibuprofen is enough.
I look outside and see the three of them messing with the ground. Jon has an idea to try and get a few things grown before it gets too cold. They do look funny out there fooling around in the dirt.