Heart of Iron

Twenty-one

Morning sunlight streamed through the curtains. Lena blinked, pain stabbing at her too-sensitive eyes. She was so thirsty, her mouth bone dry. “Where am I?”

A shadow moved on the edge of vision. Lena shot to alertness, her heartbeat slowing down when Charlie grinned at her.

“She’s awake!”

Honoria materialized, her face white and pale with lack of sleep. Her hand slid over Lena’s forehead, deliciously cool. “Charlie,” she murmured. “Could you fetch some more water? And something to eat?” The last question was directed at Lena.

She nodded sharply. Her stomach growled at the thought, twisting with emptiness.

Honoria held a glass to her lips. Cool water wet her dry tongue and she gasped greedily at it. The door shut behind Charlie as Honoria settled on the edge of the bed.

“Drink it slowly,” Honoria said. “You’ve been asleep for a long time.”

By the time she’d drained the glass she was feeling marginally better. Looking around, she recognized her old room in the warren.

“Will?”

“He’s still asleep.” Honoria stroked a hand over her damp hair. “Lena, your temperature’s abnormally high. You’re burning with fever. How do you feel?”

She considered her body. “Hungry?”

Concern flashed through Honoria’s dark eyes. “What happened? Can you remember? All Rip could tell us was that he heard a whistle of distress and then Will was gone. We found your carriage turned over in the street, but no sign of either of you. Blade and Rip searched the tunnels but lost Will’s scent trail. Someone had sprayed the area with some sort of chemical that obliterated smell.”

Everything that had happened flashed through her mind. She opened her mouth. Then shut it. She had sworn that she would speak of the humanists to no one. And she didn’t dare get her sister involved.

Tears sprang into her eyes, her emotions strangely raw. “Honor, if I asked you a question, would you answer it?”

“Of course.”

Their eyes met. “Was Father a humanist?”

Stillness radiated through her sister’s body. “Why would you ask such a thing?”

“It’s true then.” Lena’s voice hardened and she struggled to sit up. “What else did you think was best kept secret from me? Father’s work for Vickers? The truth of what he was really doing?”

Honoria stiffened. “Where did you learn of this?”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s all true, isn’t it?”

Something old filled Honoria’s eyes. “Yes. I don’t know how much you’re aware of, but it’s true. In the last years of his life Father grew dissatisfied with the way of the world. He started working on a cure for the craving for Vickers, but in his own time he researched a blue blood’s weaknesses. He wanted to discover methods of destroying them.”

Lena pressed her hands against her face. Everything that Rosalind had told her was correct.

Honoria eased a tentative hand on her shoulder. “Lena? You’re not angry at me? I did as I thought best. The information is dangerous. I was only ever trying to protect you both.”

“You should have told me.” As soon as she said the words she realized how familiar Honoria’s statement sounded. They were all excuses she herself had used. A similarity she never thought she’d ever have shared with her sister. They were so different at heart, and yet she couldn’t deny that Honoria would risk her own life for her and Charlie without pause. Sliding a hand over her sister’s, she squeezed gently.

“Lena, what happened in the tunnels?”

A world she could never reveal. “Someone kidnapped me. I’m not sure who. Will came after them and saved me.”

The story was far too brief to appease her sister and they both knew it. But whatever guilt currently flayed Honoria, she didn’t dare question the statement.

“Do you think I could see Will?” Lena asked softly.

“He’s asleep.”

“Just to check on him.” She’d thought him lost. The urge to make sure he was safe and alive was suddenly a crushing need. “Please.”

Honoria sighed. “I’ll allow it. But only because I understand what you’re feeling.”

***

Honoria eased a hand over her sister’s forehead, smoothing her damp curls out of the way. Though she’d left Lena sitting in a chair beside Will’s bed, when she’d returned with more water, she’d found her curled up on top of the blankets asleep, her fingers entwined with his.

Blade’s arms slid around her waist from behind and he rested a chin on her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re troubled,” he said simply.

Pressing a finger against her lips, she led him out of the room and eased the door shut behind her. Though he arched an eyebrow in question, she shook her head and led him upstairs to her workroom.

“What is it, luv?” he asked, frowning as he closed the door behind him.

Nobody would hear them up here. Honoria crossed to her desk and tugged a heavy book down from the shelf. She opened it to the page mark and pressed her finger to the spidery script. “Read it.”

Blade squinted at the page, his lips moving slowly. “Don’t understand. This is the first stages of the loupe virus and its effects.”

“I was studying it in order to try and find Will’s cure,” she admitted. “The first sign of the loupe is a fever. Headaches, hot and cold flushes, the sweats…”

He understood immediately.

“She’s burning up,” Honoria whispered. “She shouldn’t be that hot, not without severe signs of discomfort, but all she feels is hunger and thirst.”

Blade’s face paled.

Honoria bit her lip. “There’s more. Did you know that the loupe is an extremely virulent disease, and yet there are few verwulfen around?” Heat burned in the back of her eyes and she stroked the page in front of her. She’d come up here to read more as soon as she first suspected what was going on. “Blade, the statistics for surviving the initial fever are extremely poor. Perhaps one in fifteen makes the transition. In Scandinavia and Germany, only the strongest warriors are allowed to be infected. They must prove themselves in a test first, to ensure that they have the strongest chance of surviving.” Her vision blurred. “This is why no verwulfen is allowed to mate with a human. Oh God, what have I done?” Her words faded to a whisper, an ache burning in her chest. “I should never have allowed her near him. I should have realized. I should have—”

Strong arms tugged her close, burying her against his chest. “I’ve a feelin’ nothin’ we done coulda kept ’em apart.” He stroked her hair. “Hush, luv. Ain’t your fault. You couldn’t a known. There’s so little information ’bout the loupe goin’ round. And who knows, she might be strong enough.”

Honoria hiccupped a sob. “The strongest warriors, Blade. And most of them don’t survive.”

“Then,” he said, tipping her chin up toward him, “we need to work out what she needs. How to ’elp ’er.”

The thought penetrated where no false comfort ever could. This she could do. She grabbed the book and dashed the tears from her eyes. She hadn’t been able to save her brother from the craving virus, but she’d be damned if she’d let her sister’s life fade.

“Sit. Read,” he said, pushing her into a chair. “I’ll fetch a pot of tea and somethin’ to eat. Then I’ll check on them.”

Honoria’s eyes were already racing across the lines on the page. “Thank you.”

***

The world beneath her moved. Lena blinked sleepily. Arching her fingers, she dug them into the soft body beneath hers and yawned. Her pillow threatened to dislodge her and she grabbed onto the sheets.

Will rolled onto his side, blinking warily at her. Thick slabs of muscle covered his chest and shoulders, and for a moment, the urge to run her hand through the hair on his chest was almost irresistible.

Grabbing at the sheet to stop it from dropping too far, he stiffened. “We’re at the warren.” A frown. “What happened?”

“Don’t you remember? You collapsed,” she said, “and Blade had you brought here. You’ve slept the day away. How are you feeling?”

His gaze drifted past, toward the water jug.

“Here,” Lena said, hopping off the bed in her nightgown and pouring him a glass. She held it out to him, but he grabbed the jug instead and tilted it up. The muscles in his throat worked, rivulets of water pouring down his jaw and into the hollow of his collarbone.

Heat burned between her thighs and she gripped the cool glass hard. Sheer longing was almost a knife to the chest. She had promised herself that she would speak to him if he survived, tell him how she felt, but suddenly she was nervous and tongue-tied again. The way he always made her feel.

She, a woman who could twist a man around her finger with a simple smile if she chose.

A crack appeared in the glass. Then another. Lena looked down in astonishment as the glass shattered, pieces crumbling to the rug. Blood welled from her fingers.

Will lowered the jug, his gaze dropping to the glass. “Bloody hell, Lena.” He leaped out of bed, moving with the same economical grace that always drew her eye.

An excess of golden skin. Naked skin. Lena’s eyes widened. She had a second’s grace to drop her gaze before he swore and jerked the sheet around his waist, tucking the edge in.

Oh my goodness.

Anatomy books could not even come close to picturing the truth. The heat flushed out of her face. She’d caught only a glimpse of his member, half aroused and enormous, bobbing from the thick thatch of dark hair that nested it. The breath caught in her throat. There was no possible way they could fit together…

“Here,” Will snarled, taking the remains of the glass from her and tearing a piece off the sheet. He dipped it in the water jug and wrung it out, then dabbed tenderly at the cut on her hand. “What happened?”

“It cracked in my hand,” Lena said distantly. A shiver of need swept through her, igniting desires she’d kept under lock and key in her heart.

Will hesitated.

“What is it?”

“There’s a piece of glass in there.” A frown drew his eyebrows together. “Lena, can you not feel that?” A shivering stroke over something in her hand.

She looked away from the broad, naked expanse of his chest and saw the piece of glass sticking out of her hand. As soon as she saw it she felt the acid bite of pain and bit her lip. “A little. It doesn’t hurt very much.”

“Lena, look at me.”

Into whiskey warm eyes with their impossibly thick lashes. She leaned forward, resting her free hand against his chest, feeling the delicious slide of silky-soft skin beneath her fingertips.

Will sucked in a breath. Then his gaze dropped and pain throbbed through her hand. “Got it,” he said. Dabbing at the cut, he examined it for any sign of glass and then tied another strip of sheet around it firmly.

The scent of him, warm and musky, wrapped around her senses. As soon as he let her hand go, she placed it against his stomach, feeling the flinch beneath her fingertips.

“Lena,” he warned, in a husky voice. The heat in his eyes contradicted his tone. “We can’t.”

“Why not?” she whispered, sliding the backs of her knuckles down his rippled abdomen. “You want to. I want to.” Tears pricked at her eyes and suddenly her throat was thick. “I thought that I’d lost you. That you were gone. Forever.” One hot, salty tear slid down her cheek. She shook her head and looked up fiercely. “Nothing else matters.” A deep breath, her heart pattering madly in her chest. She couldn’t quite meet his eyes, but that didn’t matter. “I was so scared that I would never have a chance to touch you. To kiss you again. To tell you…”

“Tell me what?” He caught her wrists, thrust them behind her.

Her nipples abraded the linen nightgown. She stared up at him, at the fierce expression on his face. Flickers of warming amber lit his eyes. That was what she wanted to stir. The uncontrollable passion in him. The need. She leaned closer, let her breasts rub against his skin. Sensation shot through her abdomen, clenching white-hot between her thighs.

“Tell me what?” he repeated, more of the amber drowning out the brown of his eyes.

Lena leaned forward and kissed his chest. Will shuddered, his grip on her wrists loosening. “How much I miss you,” she whispered. “I played games with you, Will, because I was afraid if I were serious, and you weren’t…that I’d…I wanted you to kiss me. I tried to drive you to it, but you would never dare. I thought you didn’t want me and it hurt so badly, because I wanted you.”

Another shudder of conflicting need within him. He shook his head, his lips parting. “I can’t.” But his hands were easing on her wrists and suddenly it was easy to slip from his grasp.

She slid her hands over his chest and stepped closer. Will backed away, his knees hitting the back of the bed. He tumbled onto the bed, his fist clenching in the blankets. The sheet around his hips threatened to dislodge. Lena knelt on the edge of the bed, slinging her leg over his hips.

His muscles clenched. “Lena, you don’t understand.”

“Do you want me or not?” A breathless moment as she waited for the answer.

“Of course I do, but—”

She pressed a finger against his lips. The nightgown rode up around her thighs, the lacy edge trailing over her sensitive calves. Licking her lips, she relaxed down onto his lap, gasping at the feel of his rigid member against her wet heat.

So sensitive there. So sweet the feeling. She threw her head back and arched her hips, grinding herself against him.

Fingers clenched in her bottom, almost painfully tight. He urged her against him again and Lena cried out as need tightened within her.

The sheet was trapped between them. She could feel her own body wetting it, the rasp of the linen against the sensitive nub that drove her insane. Suddenly it wasn’t enough. She wanted more. Needed more. Sinking her hands into his hair, she fisted it and dragged his mouth up to hers.

Will bit at her lip, suckling it into his mouth. Their tongues clashed and she pressed herself against him, rubbing her breasts, her hips, her quim against his hard body. The taste of his mouth was intoxicating.

The sheet drove her crazy. She slid a hand between them and tugged at the length he’d tucked into the waist of it. Too late he realized her intentions and caught her wrist. Lena held onto the end, feeling it unravel beneath her. She ground her hips against his and this time it was flesh that met hers. Hard, swollen flesh.

“Can’t.”

She kissed him, not daring to let him go. His cock surged, huge and potent against her and she wet it with her own body, riding along the edge of it. Will made a strangled sound in his throat, his hands digging into her thighs and his eyes glazing. The head of his cock brushed against her, a stretching sensation—

Lena’s mouth fell open. Will caught her by the hips and then the pain and stretching was gone and he slammed her back against the bed, hovering over her with a strained growl. His hands pinned her wrists to the bed.

“No.” Breathing hard, his back heaving with the strain of it, he looked up and met her gaze. Amber burned desperately.

“You want to.”

“I want to,” he admitted. Something flashed through his eyes, a sadness that made her heart clench. “I can’t, Lena. I promised I’d protect you. Even from myself.”

“I trust you,” she whispered. “You wouldn’t hurt me.”

He clenched his eyes shut. “Lena, have you never thought of how the loupe is spread?”

She opened her mouth then froze. Not once had she considered it. “I don’t know very much about it.” Few people did. Nobody in the Echelon spoke of it. “The craving is spread by blood.”

“So is the loupe.” His body softened on hers, hips driving her into the bed, need a hard edge in his golden eyes. “And also through a man’s seed. Why d’you think I ain’t been with a woman?”

Another stunning revelation. “Ever?” she whispered in surprise.

He shook his head, eyes darkening. “Never.”

Some fierce sense of possession burned within her. “I didn’t know. I thought—” Her mind raced. Not once could she recall seeing him with a woman. She’d never thought of it before, preferring to assume he kept his assignations quiet.

Will’s grip eased and he knelt over her, hands on his thighs. His cock bobbed against his stomach, but the dejection in his shoulders told her everything she needed to know. Grabbing the remains of the sheet, he wrapped it around his hips.

“Unless a woman had the loupe already. I couldn’t.”

Lena shook her head. This couldn’t be happening. Just when she had finally admitted to herself the depth of her feelings for him… “Perhaps…” She licked dry lips. “I wouldn’t mind. If we could be together—”

“No!” His expression hardened. “You don’t know what you’re askin’. I’ve been cut and beaten and even half gutted before, and they’re nothin’—nothin’—compared to the agony of the loupe when it first hits you. Not everybody survives, Lena.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I couldn’t do that. Not to you.”

Tears blurred her vision. The tenuous future she’d begun dreaming of was washed away with the maelstrom of his words.

“Lena,” he whispered. A gentle hand brushed the back of her cheek. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m not,” she replied, trying to dry her eyes on her sleeves. Somehow she summoned a weak smile. It faltered. “Yesterday I thought you were dead. I said I’d do anything to have you back, to have you safe—” The words broke. She couldn’t say anymore. Sobs overtook her.

Sheets rustled and then Will dragged her against him. “I never meant to hurt you.” He murmured. “I tried to stay away from you.”

She nodded, shakily drawing in a breath. “I can see that now.” All of the times she’d thought he didn’t care for her and he’d only been trying to stop this before it got too far.

He kissed her cheek, his lips wet with her tears. Then her jaw. Her lips. Lena turned her face to his hungrily, wrapping her body hard against him. They kissed desperately, clinging to each other and she almost broke down again, knowing that this was the last time she could ever do this.

Her fingers twined in the silky strands of his hair. Will dragged her closer against him, his cock an emphatic presence against her thigh. His mouth trailed lower, nipping at her chin, then her neck, his tongue tracing the salty rime of her tears.

The shock of his hand against her breast made her suck in a breath. “Will?”

“Just this. Just once.” The other hand slid her nightgown higher, his forearm cradling the curve of her bare bottom.

Heat flushed through her. There was never any intention of saying no. If this was all she could have of him… “What are you going to do?”

Will eased her back onto the bed and knelt over her. The rasp of his stubble against her throat arched her off the bed and she dug her nails into his shoulders. “I’ve thought of this… Dreamed of this.” Teeth grazed the vulnerable column of her throat, a teasing bite that threatened and tempted both. “I want to taste you.”

She shivered with longing. He was asking for her surrender. She gave it completely. “Do it.”

His lips soothed the ache of the bite. Hands sliding over her nightgown with feverish need, he caught the hem of it and shoved it up.

Cool air stirred against her naked flesh. Lena lifted her hips and shoulders off the bed, letting him remove it. Will tossed the nightgown aside, never taking his eyes off her. They burned like a blacksmith’s forge, the heat blistering her soul.

Uncertainty beating in her breast, she lowered her hands against her sides. Her breath lifted her breasts, drawing his gaze to them. Her nipples hardened and she let her gaze rove his face, searching for something, anything.

His expression softened. Still fierce in his desire, the odd hint of longing shaped his mouth. “You’re beautiful.” Gently he traced her collarbone, his fingers tickling over her skin. They raked lower, drawing gentle concentric circles around her left breast. “Perfect.”

“Too small,” she whispered.

He leaned against her side, one leg thrown over hers. Capturing her gaze, he slid his rough palm over her breast, cupping it. “Perfect,” he growled and lowered his head.

Lips traced the smooth curve of her flesh. She gasped as teeth found her nipple and bit it gently. The hand on her breast slid lower, skating across her quivering stomach. So much sensation. She could barely contain it, especially when his hand delved between her thighs.

A new world. She felt remarkably gauche, untutored. She knew nothing of this, of pleasure. Theory had nothing on practice. Will’s fingers found her and she threw her head back, gasping, against the sheets.

“Take your hair out,” he whispered, one finger tracing small circles against the wet bud between her thighs.

She could barely move, trapped by the sensation of his hand. “I can’t,” she gasped, her hips quivering.

Movement ceased. He pressed the heel of his palm against her mound. “Take it out.”

Demand filled his voice. Lena lifted her arms over her head and started working on her braid. Her hair tumbled over the sheets in loose waves, thick and dark. Will’s expression grew lazy, heavy-lidded. He lowered his mouth to her nipple and suckled it. “That’s better.”

The coil in her stomach grew. She slid her hands over his shoulders, learning the smooth muscle of his flesh. Then through his hair, fisting in the length of it, unable to string coherent thought or sound together as his lips played with her breast.

A hot tongue swept over her, rasping at her nipple. An inarticulate sound echoed in her throat, harsh and guttural. A wordless plea for more. As if in answer, his fingers danced lightly over her wet flesh, circling the entrance to her body.

“Yes,” Lena gasped, back arching obscenely. “Will!”

“Do you like that?” A hint of curiosity gleamed in his eyes. This was new to him too and yet he moved with a confidence that fooled her.

A finger slid deep into her passage and she clenched around it, eyes rolling back in her head. Soft laughter echoed against her flesh, a rumble of pleased satisfaction. So male.

“Yes?”

Her fingers were clenched in his hair so tight he had to feel it. She tried to relax. And failed. “Yes.”

Another finger stretched her and she felt the burn deep within as her body eased to accommodate him. Shadows filled his eyes—he wanted it to be his own body—and he bit the soft curve of her breast with a snarl as the amber overtook his irises.

Lena lifted her hips to his hand, silently demanding more. The world narrowed, becoming little more than the sound of shifting sheets and soft sighs and the feel of his fingers pumping within her.

Something beckoned, a sensation she knew she wanted to feel. Tossing her head from side to side, she tried to find it, tried to push harder against his hand. Will’s thumb rode over the nub of her flesh and she clenched with a gasp, grabbing at his wrist.

“There,” she whispered desperately. “Right there.”

“Here?” A thumb pressed hard against her.

She cried out, her hips lifting higher. So close. Almost… The edge threatened to collapse beneath her and his thumb rode her again. There—

Lena screamed as sensation rode through her, blinding her to all else. Nothing but the feel of his body remained, his finger driving deep within her. Claiming her as she wished his body could.

Too much. She cried out and caught his hand, clenching her knees tightly together as she rolled onto her side. Gasping, her face pressed into the sheets, she came back to the world slowly. Will curled around her, his face nuzzling the back of her neck and his shaft pressed against her bottom.

She shifted, driving it between her thighs, her own slickness creating a vacuum. Will sucked in a sharp breath, his hands clutching her tight. “Lena.”

Yet his hips pressed against her bottom, the nest of springy hair at the base of his shaft tickling her. His hot flesh rode against her sensitive nub and she gasped again, white lights dancing behind her eyes.

Sinking a fist into her hair, Will dragged her face back, baring her throat. His hips bucked against her again, tearing a new sensation through her.

Teeth sinking into the soft muscle of her trapezium. His fist, a dominating presence in her hair. She couldn’t move, trapped by his body. Will ground himself against her again and again, thrusting hard between her thighs. She clenched her knees, her fingers digging into the sheet.

“Mine,” he growled. “You’re mine.”

“Always,” she cried, her body tipping over that sharp, electric edge again.

His cry echoed hers, hot seed flooding against her stomach. Lena collapsed against the sheets, panting hard. There was no time to relax. Will shoved her onto her back, his eyes wild as he wiped the seed from her skin. Only when the last trace of it was gone did his shoulders relax. He balled the sheet up and threw it away.

Lena reached for him, “Come here.”

The muscle strained in his thighs. “I shouldn’t.” His gaze drifted to the sheet, voice hoarse. “I shouldn’t have risked even that.”

Languorous heat settled through her body. She wanted to sleep, desperately. Stretching catlike, she smiled up at him. “That wasn’t a question, Will.”

He owned her utterly. And yet, when it came down to it, she owned a part of him too.

He came, his body pressing hard on hers, driving her into the mattress. Lena smiled to herself and held him close, rubbing her cheek against his throat.

I love you.

But they were words she didn’t dare utter, words that would only cause pain in this moment. She didn’t want to cry. Didn’t want to see that sleepy satisfaction fade from his eyes. This moment was for them. The last one they could ever have.

The thought made her smile fade slightly but she forced it away. Mine, she told herself, sliding her arms around him and holding him tight. The familiar scent of his body flooded her nostrils and she pressed her face into his hair and breathed deep.

No thought of the future. No thought of what couldn’t be.

Just the moment.

One she never wanted to let go of.