?Actually, it was a moose, and the ?children? were a group of college students who crossed a proscribed stretch of the Canadian border looking for cheap weed,? I interjected. All heads turned my way. I shrugged. ?That?s a Level 1 hazard zone. It?s forbidden to almost everyone outside the armed forces and certain branches of the scientific community. Assuming you?re talking about the incident last August and I didn?t somehow miss an ungulate attack?? I knew I hadn?t. I religiously follow animal attacks on humans, filing them under one of two categories: ?We need stricter laws? and ?Darwin was right.? I don?t think people should be allowed to keep animals large enough to undergo amplification, but I also don?t believe wiping out the rest of the large mammals in the world is the answer. If you want to go foraging into the wilds of Canada without proper gear, you deserve what you get, even if that happens to include being attacked by an undead moose.
The man reddened. ?I don?t think I was talking to you, miss.?
?Fair enough,? I said. ?Still, the facts of the event are pretty well documented. Again, assuming I didn?t miss something.?
Looking mildly amused, one of the other men said, ?Well, come on, Carl, did the young lady miss an attack, or are you referring to the incident with the moose??
He didn?t need to answer; his glare was answer enough. Turning his back pointedly on the three of us, he moved to join a vigorous condemnation of the senator?s stance on the death penalty that was going on just a few feet away.
?I don?t think I?ve ever seen him deflated with facts before,? said the woman, and offered her hand. ?I?ll have to remember that. Rachel Green. I?m with the local SPCA.?
?Dennis Stahl, Eakly Times,? said the remaining man, flashing his press pass in a brief show of solidarity.
Relieved that my sunglasses would cover the more subtle points of my expression, I took Ms. Green?s hand, shook once, and said, ?Georgia Mason. I?m one of the bloggers covering Senator Ryman?s campaign.?
?Mason,? said Ms. Green. ?As in???
I nodded.
She winced. ?Oh, dear. Is this going to be unpleasant??
?Not unless you?re in the mood for a debate. I?m here to record reactions to the senator?s agenda, not forward my own. Besides,? I nodded to Carl?s back, ?I?m not as hard-line as some. I just have strong opinions about large animals being kept in urban areas, and I think we can agree to disagree on that point, don?t you??
?Fair enough,? she said, looking relieved.
Mr. Stahl laughed. ?Rachel gets a lot of flack from the local media for what she does,? he said. ?How?s the campaign trail treating you??
?Are you saying you haven?t been reading our reports?? I asked the question lightly, but I wanted to hear the answer. Journalistic acceptance is one of the last things any blog gets. We may be accepted inside the community, but it?s not until the traditional news media starts to take our reports seriously that a new feed can honestly be said to have established itself.
?I have,? he said. ?They?re good. A little rough, but good. You care about what you?re reporting, and it shows.?
?Thanks,? I replied, and glanced to Ms. Green. ?Did you enjoy the presentation??
?Is he as sincere as he seems??
?I haven?t seen any signs that he?s not,? I said, and shrugged. ?Illusions of journalistic objectivity aside? He?s a nice guy. He has good ideas, and he presents them well. Either he?s the best liar I?ve ever met, or he?s going to be our next President. Not that the two are mutually exclusive, but still.?
?Mind if I quote you on that?? asked Mr. Stahl, with a sudden predatory intensity that I recognized quite well from my peers.
I smiled. ?Go right ahead. Just make sure to give your readers a link to our site, if you would be so kind??
?Of course.?
The three of us chatted for a bit longer, eventually exchanging pleasantries and going our separate ways. I resumed moving from group to group, now mostly listening, and was amused to see that Carl?no last name given or requested?continually moved away from me, as if afraid that I?d taint his ranting with more of my unfortunate facts. I?ve encountered his type before, usually at political protests. They?re the sort who would rather we paved the world and shot the sick, instead of risking life being unpredictable and potentially risky. In another time, they were anti-Semitic, antiblack, antiwomen?s liberation, anti-gay, or all of the above. Now, they?re antizombie in the most extreme ways possible, and they use their extremity to claim that the rest of us are somehow supporting the ?undead agenda.? I?ve met a lot of zombies. Not as many as Shaun and Mom have, but I?m not as suicidal as they are. In my experience, the only ?undead agenda? involves eating you, not worming their way into public acceptance and support. There will always be people for whom hate is easier when it?s not backed up by anything but fear. And I will always do my best to hoist them by their own petards.