Desolate The Complete Trilogy

16



She took another bite from the granola bar, followed by a sip of soda. I sat on the bed with my own drink and she in the chair on the other side of the room. She chewed slowly and never took her eyes off of me.

When the girl realized I had her cornered in the supply room earlier, she jumped to her feet and tried to run past me. I was just barely able to catch her and almost lost my grip as she struggled in my arms. It wasn’t easy, but I was finally able to calm her down and convince her I wasn’t going to hurt her. Now, sitting in a clean patient room I’d staked out earlier, it was clear she still didn’t trust me. I think the peace offering of food helped a little, but she kept glancing at the door, debating whether to make a run for it or not.

The afternoon sun’s rays spilled through cracks in the closed window blinds, filling the dusty air with a warm glow. We quietly ate our food and looked at each other. I was polishing off one of the turk sandwiches. She still hadn’t said a word.

“Can you tell me your name?” I tried again. “My name is Howard.”

No response.

“Do you know where your mom and dad are?”

It was hard to tell, but I guessed she was around four or five years old. Her skin was very dark, almost completely black, and it made the whites of her big eyes really stand out. They were stunning. I’m talking cover of National Geographic stunning.

“Have you seen any doctors or policemen today?”

She had a couple of braids done up with beads, but otherwise it looked like her hair hadn’t seen much grooming lately. She wore a pink T-shirt smeared with dirt and a tattered pair of cutoff shorts. Her feet were bare and her knees were covered in scabs.

“Can you speak English, honey? Do you understand what I’m saying?”

She finished her drink and continued to stare at me, every once in a while sneaking a peek at the door. I held out another granola bar. She brought her knees up to her chin and hugged her legs. I put the bar down.

I chuckled to myself. “Can’t say I blame you. I probably look pretty scary, huh? I’m a nice guy, I swear,” I held my hand up, Boy Scout-style. “I just need a hot shower and some clean clothes.”

I sat back on the bed with my back against the wall and brought my knees up to my chest, like her. My sore muscles protested, but I held my legs in position.

“You sort of remind me of my daughter.” I sighed. “She was white, like me, but had big pretty eyes, like yours.” I looked out the window between the blinds and the window frame. Bright white, fluffy clouds drifted lazily by. A couple of dogs were barking at something down the street. The long day was catching up with me and my eyelids grew heavy.

“She would have been, let me think…seven years old this December. God, has it been that long already? Seven,” I repeated.

“You know, when your kid gets killed by a drunk driver and you’re a bit of a drunk yourself? You’d think that would maybe help get your head straight. Instead of waking me up I just drank more.

“The funny thing is, I was stone-cold sober that day. Gina was nagging at me to take her to the park. I was hung-over from the night before and felt terrible. Sure, I was tempted to tweak my coffee just a bit. Take the edge off, you know? But I didn’t.”

A single tear traveled down my cheek and rested in the corner of my mouth. I licked my lips and tasted salt. The girl continued to sit and stare. She didn’t move a muscle.

“Third-shift drunk. He started pounding ’em back after work. Probably around seven in the morning. By the time he sailed through that intersection at eleven o’clock his blood-alcohol level was point two three.”

I wiped my eyes and laughed. The girl continued to stare.

“Christ, listen to me. You probably don’t even understand a word I’m saying. It just feels good to talk to somebody. You don’t know how long it’s been. Hell, I don’t even know how long it’s been. Sorry to be such a downer, kid.”

I sniffed and almost missed it. It was barely above a whisper.

“What did you say?” I stammered. “Did you say something?”

“What was her name?” the girl asked.

I smiled. “Her name was Lilly. For some reason, we used to call her Lilly Bean. What’s your name?”

“Emily.”

“Emily,” I repeated. “That’s a nice name. I’m Howard.”

“I know. You already told me dat.”

“I guess I did,” I chuckled.

“Why did you call her Lilly Bean? Is dat your last name too?”

“I have no idea, Emily,” I said, shaking my head. “It just felt good to say, I guess. My last name is Bell. Somebody once told me that Lilly Bell sounded like a cow’s name, but by then it was too late to change it,” I said with a smirk.

“Okay,” she said and rested her cheek on her knee. As if that was all we needed to talk about.

“Where are your parents, Emily?” She looked at the floor and didn’t answer. “Did they get sick like everybody else?”

I slowly got off the bed and crouched down in front of her. She clutched her legs tighter and looked at the window to avoid my gaze.

“You know what? I can tell you’re a brave little girl. And I’m sorry for what’s happened to you. I’m going to try to find us some help. Okay, Emily?”

She gave me a little nod.

“You and I are special, did you know that? We’re not going to get sick like everybody else. I don’t want you to be scared about that.”

Another nod.

“Did you know that man in the street before? Was he trying to hurt you?”

She suddenly came alert and looked scared. “I didn’t do no-ting! It was Jackie who trew de rocks at him. I stayed ’way, just like mummy said.”

I held my hands up. “Hey, it’s okay. I didn’t say you did anything wrong. Who’s Jackie?”

“Jackie Ebberdine. I told her. My mum said leave him ’lone ’cause he’s mean and scary. But Jackie liked to call him names and run ’way. She’s braver dan me ’cause she’s nine and a half.”

“Oh. Well, don’t worry about him. He’s not going to hurt you as long as I’m around.”

“I went to Jackie’s house but it’s all locked up and Oscar was inside and wouldn’t stop barking.”

Her eyes started to tear up. I put my hand on her shoulder but she pulled away.

“Mummy said to go to Jackie’s house ’cause she felt bad and didn’t make supper and wanted me to ask if I could have a sleepover.”

“Do you remember how many days ago that was?”

She shook her head.

“Where did you go after your friend’s house?” I asked

“I went home and told mummy, but she wouldn’t wake up. She made sick on de bed and I didn’t know how to clean it up.”

The dogs were really going nuts outside with the barking. I stood up and looked through the window blinds but didn’t see a thing. I had a good view of most of the street below, but no movement among the cars.

I sat back down on the bed and noticed Emily was eyeing the pile of snacks I laid out on the covers. “Do you want something else?” I asked and she nodded. She climbed up on the bed and tried to open the banana. I helped her peel it and handed it back.

“What happened next?”

She bit into the banana and swung her feet back and forth over the edge of the bed.

“I stayed in my room ’cause I heard lots of yelling and sirens,” she said through a mouthful of banana.

“And your mom didn’t wake up? Nobody else lives in your house?”

Emily swallowed and shot me a hostile look. “Mummy wasn’t sleeping, she died!”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”

I got up and stretched, immediately regretting it, as pain shot through my abdomen. Whatever was going on in there seemed to be getting worse.

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked. Her anger was gone, replaced by concern for her new friend.

“Just got a bit of a tummy ache, hon. Nothing to worry about.”

“Mummy had a tummy ache.”

“Yeah, but this one is different. I’m not sick like your mum.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

The pain eased and I sat down. Emily continued eating the banana and started to hum. Now that my belly was finally full of food, I set my sights on getting cleaned up. I got up and tried the faucet but it only sputtered a little and went dry.

“Hey, Emily? I’m going to go down the hall and look for some stuff that will help us get cleaned up, okay? I want you to stay here.”

A look of fear flashed across her face as she jumped to her feet. “I wanna come too!”

Thirty minutes ago, this kid saw me as the boogeyman and wanted to run as far away from me as possible. A little small talk over a banana and now she trusted me completely. It made me miss Lilly Bean more than ever. It also made me realize this girl was now my responsibility.

“Okay, kiddo,” I said. “Just stay close.”

She nodded enthusiastically and we headed off to do some serious looting.