Chapter 32
‘Where am I?’
There was no answer to Lisa’s question. She woke up to find herself in a strange room, in even stranger surroundings.
‘What is this place?’ she whispered, noting the high windows, the empty walls. There was no reply. ‘Is there anyone there?’ she shouted.
The quiet came back at her, pressing on her straining ears.
White; it was all white. An intense stillness seemed to lie over everything, air muffled, light dim. She lay quiet, the sound of her breathing filling the room, a rushing in her head. It seemed to Lisa that the world was so silent she could hear her blood flow.
At last her ears, attuned to the tiniest murmur, heard a soft whirring. What was that? Some sort of instrument of torture?
The whirring stopped. There was a louder noise, a sort of hum, a bang, followed by what sounded like footsteps. Unmistakably now, heavy treads along a corridor somewhere outside her room. As Lisa looked towards the door she could see a square of something that should be glass but which reflected back at her. And then the square swung away as the whole door opened wide to let a figure through.
‘Awake, I see, Mrs Wildmore. Feeling any better?’
Lisa stared at the woman who’d simply walked into the room without knocking.
‘Where am I?’
‘There’s nothing to worry about...’
That sickly patronising tone. It stirred Lisa first into anger, followed rapidly by fear. Where were her children? Awake, alert, Lisa now became aware that she was isolated from anything she recognised. An unknown room, a stranger. Was this woman trying to keep her from her children?
‘I asked you where I was.’ She sat up, leaned back as she felt her head hurt with the effort, throb with ache. ‘I didn’t ask you whether there was anything to worry about. Perhaps you’d be good enough to tell me?’
‘Of course, Mrs Wildmore; it isn’t a secret. Gladstone Nursing Home. I’m sure you’ll-’
‘And where is that?’
‘Just outside Bath. I’m sure you’ll – ’
‘What am I doing here?’
‘I’m afraid I can’t answer that question; Dr Pleadling will be here shortly. He’ll clear everything up for you.’
This was absurd. ‘You are suggesting that I simply wait until some doctor graciously appears?’ Was she being held against her will? ‘Unless you give me some good reason for me to stay, I’m leaving.’
‘That won’t be possible, Mrs Wildmore.’
She was being held. The nurse, or whatever she was, approached her slowly. Was she about to administer some drug? An injection perhaps? Perhaps she’d talked, let slip her suspicions about cloning. An injection, she remembered. She’d talked of cloning while she was under the influence of drugs. And now they were going to shut her up for good!
‘Is this a prison?’
‘Of course not, Mrs Wildmore. It’s just that we thought – ’
‘We? Who’s that supposed to mean? I had nothing to do with my coming here. Where’s my husband?’
The woman had stopped uncertainly at the end of the bed, then started coming nearer.
‘You touch me and I’ll have you up for assault.’
‘Hostile reactions will not be helpful to you, Lisa. The review of your case is coming up today, you know.’
‘My name is Mrs Wildmore,’ Lisa said furiously. ‘Are you holding me here for some reason? On what grounds?’
The woman squinted at Lisa through heavy lowered lids; Big Nurse in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Lisa thought grimly. Then shock at what she took to be her situation made her feel ice along her veins. Better to play along, pretend to do exactly as they wished. They might perform a lobotomy on her. Slight shoulders heaved a shudder. And then she shuddered once again as memory came flooding back.
‘Jiminy - where’s my Jiminy?’ She sobbed; that’s what it was. She saw the scene again: blue lights flashing, an ambulance, and Trevor telling her that Jiminy was dead.
The nurse had obviously rung for assistance. Several more people entered the room, including a young man.
‘Mrs Wildmore? I’m Dr Pleadling. You were admitted as an emergency.’ He smiled; his teeth gleamed white and even. As she looked Lisa thought she saw his lips draw back. The teeth now seemed to snarl at her.
‘Emergency?’
‘You’d had a terrible shock; perhaps the most dreadful experience anyone can have. I am so very sorry. Your husband – ’
‘My baby! Where’s my Jiminy?’
‘There was nothing anyone could do, Mrs Wildmore.’
‘Where is he? Why the hell don’t you answer my questions?’
‘You’ve been under sedation for two days – ’
‘Jiminy! Where’s Jiminy?’
The doctor sighed and signalled to two nurses to go over to Lisa.
‘I’m asking you where my son is,’ Lisa said, breathing in and making a supreme effort to remain calm. ‘Just answer the question. Doping me into oblivion is not going to do anything for me - or you, in the long term.’ She saw his eyes sweep over her.
‘Your little boy had a terrible accident.’
‘I know that! Where is he?’
‘He’s in a chapel of rest, in Wells.’
‘He’s dead.’
‘I’m sorry, Lisa.’
‘You don’t know me,’ she said coldly. ‘My name is Mrs Wildmore. Where’s my husband?’
‘He will be here in an hour or so. We had to admit you, you understand. Naturally you were completely grief-stricken.’
‘Grief-stricken?’
‘Overwrought, unable to cope.’
‘If everyone who lost a child was sent to a mental institution, they’d be full,’ Lisa said coldly. ‘I suppose Alec didn’t like the way I insisted someone had killed my Jiminy.’
‘No one killed him, Mrs Wildmore. You have to believe that.’
‘Have to?’
‘For your own sake. He didn’t even die of the fall.’ The young man brought a chair up to her bed, sat next to her and took her hand.
Lisa withdrew it instantly.
‘Please do believe what I am trying to tell you.’
She stared at him, eyes stony.
‘Your little son had a coronary.’ He reached out for her hand again; she hadn’t the strength to take it away.
‘My Jiminy? He was a toddler! A heart attack?’
The doctor’s hands were clasping hers. ‘I’m so very sorry. A congenital condition, a sudden failure of the valve.’
She took her hand away, drew it up to herself. ‘He’s very ill?’
‘He was liable to the instant death syndrome.’
‘He’s dead? Jiminy’s dead?’
‘It is very unusual, but it does happen. It means he had a sudden heart attack; his body must have slumped forward. That’s how he came to slide down the Tor. It’s very steep, of course.’
‘You’re telling me it was going to happen anyway?’
‘I’m so sorry. No one could have known about it beforehand.’
That could be true. She remembered the way the little boy had nodded off. In the car, on Brean Sands. And she remembered how she’d found him on the beach - unharmed apparently, but harbouring a fatal disease. A long low moan of anguish reverberated round the room. The tears began to stream.
‘And Janus?’ she asked. ‘What about Jansy?’
The doctor looked completely puzzled.
‘My other son,’ she said. ‘One of Jiminy’s triplet brothers.’
‘Of course. His brother showed remarkable courage; quite incredible for a child of that age. He tried to grab James to break his fall, and he snatched hold of a thorn branch. That’s why he didn’t come to worse harm himself.’ He tried a smile. ‘I’m afraid he did get hurt in the process.’
‘Hurt? Badly hurt? Jansy’s hurt?’ Her Jansy; her brave little Jansy had tried to save Jiminy.
‘He broke his leg. A compound fracture, I’m afraid.’
Her eyes began to fill with tears again. ‘Where is he?’
‘In the Bristol Royal Infirmary. He’s doing very well. A brave little chap.’
‘He’s in a cast? His leg, I mean?’
‘I’m afraid so.’
‘He’ll be all right?’
‘It’s wonderful what they can do in orthopaedics nowadays. Yes, there’s every reason to believe he’ll get over the fall completely. His bones are still growing, and pliable. They’ve put a plastic splinter in to hold the bones together.’
‘A plastic splinter?’
‘I’m sorry, Mrs Wildmore. It’s nothing to be alarmed about. It doesn’t hurt. He’ll be – ’
‘But the splinter will stay in place?’
‘The bones grow round it; there should be no complications at all. I’m sure he will heal without any detriment to his movements.’
A piece of plastic in Janus’s leg, set in to stay with him for the rest of his life. The thoughts flitted quickly through Lisa’s mind as the stress she’d been suffering for so long now began to ease, to lighten her burden of guilt. Her monstrous problem - Jansy’s problem - had been solved. Someone, somewhere, had seen to it. God, perhaps. Janus would never clone again. She need not even bother to think about it. A feeling of euphoria, of light-headedness, made her lean back against the pillows, relief renewing grief, welling more tears.
Her Jiminy, her sweet little boy, had gone. He’d been too good to be true; he wasn’t destined for a long life. She’d lost him. Bitterly she remembered how she’d wished for twins; and twins is what she now had.
‘I see,’ she croaked. Her throat felt parched and cracked. Life without her Jiminy; two children who looked like him but were not him. How could she survive that? Her tears had stopped. She seemed to be dried up, looked at the young doctor hopelessly. He wouldn’t be able to help her.
‘Could I possibly have some tea?’
‘Of course, Mrs Wildmore.’ He turned to a nurse. ‘And your husband, as I said, will be with you in a short time. We’ve been in touch with him, told him you were awake at last.’
‘You had me committed? Actually committed under a section of the Mental Health Act?’ She stared at her husband. ‘You actually did that, Alec?’
‘An emergency admission, darling. You were completely beside yourself; honestly. You shrieked that Flaxton had sent someone to get Janus, that he’d killed Jiminy, that you’d make sure they couldn’t do anything like that again. All kinds of crazy things. I really had no choice in the matter. There were the other children to think of, you know. And it was only for seventy-two hours.’
‘So how long have I been here?’
‘Two days. Dr Pleadling is perfectly happy for you to leave with me if you wish.’
‘I can go any time I like?’
‘A couple of small formalities...’
‘I see.’ She looked coldly at Alec; he’d betrayed her. ‘What about phone calls? Am I allowed to make one now?’
‘You want to phone someone?’ He shrugged. ‘Trevor, you mean?’
‘Yes.’
‘Of course, darling. This isn’t a prison; I wish you’d understand my position. I had to think about the boys.’
‘Jiminy is dead.’
He put his arm around her, drew her to him. She pushed him away. ‘Our little son is dead, I know.’ She saw tears gathering in his eyes. ‘I know how much he meant to you. I loved him too.’
She let him hold her hands. Her eyes, now dry, looked beyond him to the high windows. ‘They told me he had some sort of heart failure.’
He leaned towards her, held her to him. This time she let him, felt a shudder through her body, an ache, a wrenching pain. The blessed relief of tears came again.
‘Something like that - sudden death syndrome, they said. That’s why he needed so much rest. And poor old Jansy’s hurt; he has a badly broken leg.’
She looked at Alec. ‘Splintered, they told me.’
‘He’ll be okay, Lisa. He’s very strong. Honestly, you needn’t worry.’
‘I wasn’t,’ she said, realising that he hadn’t believed, didn’t even remember, anything of what she’d told him about Janus. He’d absolutely no idea of the significance of the splinter. He thought her deluded. Not mad, exactly, but definitely deluded.
‘What about Seb and Jeffers?’
He smiled for the first time. ‘Seb really is absolutely wonderful. My mother’s come to stay, and he is helping her. She’s coping very well. Betsy comes every day to help her out, and Anne does her bit at school.’ He looked at Lisa. ‘She seemed to think you didn’t want the boys drinking the goat’s milk, is that right?’
‘That’s quite right,’ Lisa agreed, ‘but it’s not really earth-shattering one way or another. It’s Jansy who shouldn’t be drinking it. I think he may be allergic to that.’ The drugs, the relaxation of her terror, were making her feel exhausted. ‘Perhaps I’d better try to get some rest.’
Jiminy was dead. Somehow she had to believe that, accept it. Or try to. And Janus was safe for the moment. She would ring Trevor to find out about her rights.
‘Of course, darling. That’s the whole thing. You’re simply exhausted. The exhibition on top of the children…’
Lisa ignored the glaring omission of the cloning. ‘Earlier on; were you implying that my leaving here depends on what Pleadling reports?’ she asked. ‘The small formalities?’
‘It’s not quite like that.’ Alec looked distinctly uneasy. ‘I’m sorry, Lisa. I had to act; for your sake as well as the rest of us.’
‘So tell me what is going on.’
‘Your case comes up before what they call a Mental Health Review Tribunal. That’s within seventy-two hours of admission. They have a duty to discharge you if it is not necessary to keep you in the interests of your health or safety, or for the protection of other people.’
‘And you think I qualify to leave?’
‘The fact that you may hold peculiar beliefs as far as others are concerned is neither here nor there, apparently.’
‘That’s okay, then. I can believe in cloning if I want to!’
Alec got up from the bed and walked towards the window, then back again. He put his arms around her. ‘You can believe anything you want, my darling. I’m sorry, my dearest; I really wasn’t trying to make things worse. It was just such an awful terrible shock. For me as well, you know.’ He kissed her eyes, her hair, her mouth. ‘They’re our children. I know I’ve left you to cope with too much of it. I should be there far more to help you out.’
‘I thought maybe you wanted to leave, run away with Geraldine.’
‘That girl means nothing to me, Lisa. I never for a moment considered going off with her. She makes eyes at everyone. She’s very pretty, I enjoyed driving her home. A little light relief. Pressures of work, that’s all.’
‘And an unresponsive wife, I know. I do understand about that.’
‘Another visitor for you, Mrs Wildmore.’ There had been no knock. The nurse who had looked in on Lisa earlier on was ushering Meg into the room.
Alec, his arm around his wife, looked startled, but recovered himself quickly. ‘Meg! How nice of you to come. Lisa is leaving later today. I’m just off to make sure they get the red tape sorted out all right.’ He leaned down and kissed Lisa on the forehead, then the lips. ‘Got to go now, darling. You cosset yourself. I’ve brought you some chocolates and a glossy mag.’ He got up and moved towards his briefcase, opened it and returned with an enormous box of Bendick’s Bitter Mints and a copy of Vogue. ‘Back around four. Try to get some rest before then.’
‘Be yer going to the office, Alec?’ Meg stood aside as he was making for the door.
‘Meetings, you know.’
‘Us means the office here. If them sort the paperwork now, us can take Lisa back of me.’
‘Really? You’ve got time to wait? That would be great!’
‘So how be things really?’ Meg asked softly, as soon as the door was closed again. ‘Best keep us voices down. Didn’t much take to the way that creature barged in on you.’
‘You noticed that.’
‘Us do notice quite a bit, Lisa. Don’t always pay to let on. Somehow us hoped as it would all go away. But it be different when yer lose one. Knows only too well about that.’
‘You’ve lost a child? Oh, Meg, I’d no idea.’
‘Baint quite the same. Her be stillborn. But her were still my flesh and blood.’
‘That’s why you came?’
‘Baint only that.’ Meg took a deep breath in. ‘Us knows about they triplets. Us knows acause that did happen to us, too. Reckoned yer’d been trying to tell Alec, and that be the reason yer landed in here.’
‘Happened to you?’
‘Phyllis. Same as happened with Janus happened with she. That scan showed two babies, boy and girl. When Phyllis be born, ten minutes after Paul, her turned out to be two. Exactly the same. Identical.’
‘You mean – ’ So Phyllis was a cloner, too. That’s why Frank insisted on that clubfoot operation right away. And that’s why he’d been so insistent on the brace.
‘What us be saying is it happened, same way as with the animals. Her split in two just afore the birth. Only difference be t’other one were born dead. Just minutes after Phyllie.’
‘Born dead?’
Lisa had worked it out. The clone was always weaker than the cloner; Phyllis already had a defect. Perhaps that was why her clone hadn’t survived.
‘That’s right, stillbirth. Horrible, really, and us never even knew un. But her be still be a part on me. us grieved for she.’ Meg smiled sadly at Lisa. ‘Can yer credit that?’
‘Of course I can,’ Lisa hastened to assure her, putting out her hand. ‘Of course. And now I know why you haven’t had any more. I thought it odd, what with you being so involved with motherhood and everything. After all, you and Frank can afford any number of children!’
‘Only Frank do know. And Susan, o’course. Us did tell yer as Susan delivered they twins - they triplets.’
‘She didn’t tell anyone?’ So she’d been right; Susan had worked it out, and paid for that knowledge with her life.
‘Us asked she not to. Only grief for we, and no good for the baby.’
‘And Frank disposed of the body.’
‘Him did, my duck. Susan done wrapped everything up, and him buried un.’
‘And Don always knew.’
‘That be quite right, my love. Don knew from the start that there be something wrong.’
‘And he’s dead.’
Meg looked at her full face. ‘And so be Susan.’
So she wasn’t crazy at all, and she wasn’t the only one who suspected Flaxton’s produce. Meg knew about human clonings in the womb, but she didn’t know about Janus. As Lisa was about to speak she saw Meg place a finger over her lips.
‘Pays to say nothing,’ she whispered. ‘That’s what us come ter talk to yer about.’
‘Not telling anyone?’
‘Get away from here. Fast as yer can. Get away from all they terrible memories.’
Meg was warning her off, telling her to take her family away from Lodsham, away from Somerset. Was there anything else she was warning her about? Her head began to burn, to ache.
‘We cut the elders down,’ Lisa said sadly. ‘Rex Smollett told us not to.’
‘It be worse for yer, Lisa. Him were such a lovely little’un. Yer need to look after they specially.’ A tear was trickling down her face. ‘Us heard Jansy do have a broken leg. That it be bad.’
‘He’ll be all right,’ Lisa assured her. It was becoming clear to her that Janus was much stronger than Phyllis. He’d cloned Jeffrey in the womb, and Jeffrey was a sturdy lad. James, of course, was cloned outside the womb. That’s where the difference lay. Her poor little Jiminy hadn’t stood a chance.
But now even Jansy wasn’t in danger any more. He’d never clone again. Flaxton would know that, would know he was no longer a threat. Because he had a plastic pin inside his leg.