And What of Earth

Chapter 8



About the time that Jennifer had discovered the note that her father had left her, Myka was in the middle of yet another argument with his father. Repeatedly, his father insisted that he carry out the survey directive, while Myka repeatedly insisted that as mission commander, only he would decide the fate of the Terran species. When his father pointed out that the murder rate on Terra was close to 30,000 times higher than in the empire, Myka pointed out that it was falling, and had been for several decades. When the subject of the frequent wars came up, Myka reminded him of the Sanafera Uprising of 700 years previous, which nearly turned into an empire-wide civil war.

"This is all because of that barbarian female that you have befriended, isn't it?"

"Father, I have found her to be far more honorable and far more honest than certain Wakira, all but one of whom still as yet unidentified." Both men knew that he was speaking of his father.

"Remember who you are speaking to, pup! What you have done, how you have messed this mission, proves to me that I was right in insisting on seeing the raw data."

"If you had wanted to do the survey, Father, then why did you bother to send me? For that matter, why did you decide to survey this species? Why now? They are still 2 centuries away from achieving level 5 status, let alone becoming a threat to us. This was just another way of trying to turn me into a man, isn't it? When I resigned my infantry commission on principle, it set back your plans for me, didn't it? But, to have me lead this mission and exterminate a sentient species would boost my image amongst the general staff and the rank and file. Is that why you sent me? Was there no other species close enough to level 5?"

"You were an embarrassment to me and your mother when you resigned your commission --."

"It was the only honorable thing to do. That female lost rank and position and her career, because of a trifling mistake. No harm was done. If anyone had been the aggrieved party, it was me! I reported her because I was doing my duty. I recommended administrative punishment for her. But no. It was decided to ignore my advice, and put her in an assignment where she would resign rather than continue in service. Against my advice. Then against my petition. Did you not believe me when I said that I would resign my commission in the infantry if she was demoted and condemned to work on an assignment where her skills could not ever be used? Where was the honor in that, Father? Now you have sent me to this place, and I am trying to fulfill the standing survey regulations to their fullest, by taking ALL data into account, and making MY decision on whether or not they should be allowed into interstellar space, you once again are not listening to my opinion. You are ignoring me. You dishonor me Father. I cannot understand how you cannot see the fact that you are causing me humiliation in front of the lower ranks. This mission will not show me in a good light, not if you come and relieve me of my command and do the very thing that I have refused to do."

"I have tried my very best, pup, to help advance your career. You return the favor by accusing me of being dishonorable. You have a future ahead of you, whether you wish to have it or not. The choice is neither yours nor mine. My job is to make you ready for it. And I am bitterly reminded, yet again, how thankless this job is."

"If you relieve me of command, Father --." He paused, still uncertain that he should make this final challenge. "If you relieve me of command, Father, and destroy this planet and this species, then I will resign this commission and leave the service. Perhaps my sister, you remember her? The one who refuses to come visit? Perhaps my sister can find me a position in her business. Sales, or janitorial services, perhaps."

The older Wakiran froze. Myka severed the connection. As he stood, he felt a sharp stinging pain in one of his fingers. He cursed and rubbed digit that was hurting. "Infernal Terran insects! Yet another bite!" Now, even angrier than before, he stormed off the ship.



Jennifer's stomping and angry self-talk had once again taken her to the base of the stairs that led up to Emerald Street. As she had been doing each time, she touched the end of the handrail at the bottom of the stairs and spun around, ready to stomp back along the western sidelines to the midfield line.

Myka's eyes were fixed on his feet as he continued his angry debarkation from the ship towards the clinic. He noticed the tennis shoes too late.

"What the--!" came from the mouth in English. As her eyes began to focus on where she was, she switched to their language and said "I apologize, honorable male --."

"A surplus of bother--!" he cursed in his language, then in English, "I'm sorry. I was not paying attention --. Jennifer? What are you doing here?"

"Myka?" She almost started chewing him out about watching where he was going, but quickly realized that she was guilty of the same offense. "Someone found me crying and sent for Bethy. She told me to go home early." Her eyes were still slits, her anger still building. "I swore that no one would be able to make me cry, just with words, but that a*shole from the county managed to do it! Can you believe it? They're threatening to take my dad's house and send me to prison, because I embarrassed them on national radio. I'm not going to let that happen. I'll make them pay for threatening me--."

Myka scarcely heard a word. "Not only have I been betrayed by some of my subordinates, but I learned last night that my father is on his way here. Provider, how can this mission get any worse?!"

Jennifer wasn't listening either. "I've learned the hard way that you can't trust anyone --. They're going to try and make me pay for supplies that we never received. They're accusing me of selling the supplies on the black market!"

"Administrative errors are trivial. They happen in any bureaucracy --. He didn't trust me to lead this mission -- he placed spies in my staff and now is coming here to 'fix' the mission. Complete and utter disaster. A surplus of bother!"

"I'm happy you're going to see your dad again, but that's not important. They're saying that they'll have me thrown in prison, even though I've done nothing wrong. Are you even listening?"

And so it went out by the base of the stairs, with the volume of the voices ever increasing. Wakira who had intended to walk down the stairs to the ship, thought better of it and walked down the hill on Emerald instead. After almost 40 minutes of talking at each other instead of with each other, Myka grasped her elbow and started leading her to the ship. "I cannot believe that you do not understand, Jennifer!"

She yanked her elbow out of his grasp. "Don't pull me along like I'm a pet! And you're the one who doesn't understand. I'm being railroaded, just because I embarrassed the county!"

They stepped aboard the ship and headed once again to the rear, still mouthing off at each other. When they got into the office, they stood in the center, facing one another. Jennifer was waving her hands in his face, intending the fruity smell of the cheap liquid soap to annoy him. How dare he not give her any sympathy?!

Another fifteen minutes or so passed. The volume of their voices had dropped, but neither was paying any attention to what the other was saying.

"What's the big deal about your dad coming for a visit? Should break the monotony of the survey mission."

"Break the monotony? Have you been listening to what I've been trying to --. Trying to --. To --." A look of utter dismay appeared on his face. "No. Not with an alien female." His desperate eyes looked into Jennifer's, almost pleading. "Jennifer. Get out! Now! Quickly! Please!"

"What the heck is going on? Just because you --." His knees started to buckle. "Myka? Do you need help?"

"Leave please. Before it's too late --. Oh no!" Jennifer had to dip her shoulder into his chest to prop him up, his face buried in her hair. He mumbled something in his language.

She half-carried half-pushed him to his chair, then activated the communications system. In the alien language, as best she could, she shouted "Medical assistance. Mission Commander. Hurry!"

She gently laid his head back. To her, it looked as if he had suffered a stroke. His face was lax, his eyes wide, saliva just now starting to dribble from the corner of his mouth. "Help!" she screamed in English. "Somebody help him!"

The alien physician and two assistants burst through the doorway and hurried over to him. "What's wrong with him?!" she screamed at them. "What's happened?"

One of the assistants gently drew her away. "Tell us what happened," he told her.

"We were talking -- arguing. Suddenly, his face changed. A strange look. He told me to leave. He started to collapse. I got him to the chair. He mumbled something in the language, but I'm not sure what it was. Is it some sort of stroke? I know that he's been under a lot of stress lately."

The physician turned his attention away from Myka and looked directly at her. "Who was the female who was with you when this happened?"

"Female? I haven't seen a female Wakira this whole time. It was just Myka and I. There was no one else."

The physician suddenly acquired a look of dismay. He mumbled something in his language.

"That's it! That's what I heard him say while I was getting him to the chair. What does it mean? What was he trying to tell me?"

The physician translated for her. "Provider, not with an alien female."

"Not what with an alien female? What's happened to him? I didn't touch him! Why won't someone tell me what has happened?"

The assistants put him on an antigravity litter and started carrying him away. "Wait here. Do not leave," the physician told her.

"Where are you taking him? What's going on?"

The physician pointed at her. "Stay here. You must not leave. It is important that you remain in this room." He turned and left.

"Myka?" she called out plaintively. "Myka, what the hell has happened?" She staggered over to the couch. "Someone tell me what has happened to him."

Moments later, a tall figure filled the doorway. "Greetings Jennifer Hodges. I finally get to meet you."

Jennifer looked at the impossibly tall figure in the doorway. "Who are you? What are you? What's happened to Myka? Why won't anyone tell me?"

"I am a female. My name is Pokaifashta though I prefer to be called Poke. My rank is 4Tactician, though I have been serving on this mission as a research assistant." She walked over to the couch, the hair tufts on the top of her head almost touching the ceiling. She sat beside Jennifer.

"Why are you so tall?" Jennifer asked, wide-eyed.

"Why are you so short?" Poke chittered after she posed the question. "We females are normally about two hands taller than the males. When I had some time to waste, I converted my height to your units of measure. If my math is correct, I am 6 feet 8 and three-quarter inches tall. Approximately. Average for a female."

"Your appearance is similar to the males, but there are differences."

"We resemble what you would call ectomorphs. Long legs and arms, narrow thorax and pelvis. Face more rounded -- more like you Terrans than the males. Same big eyes, snout is similar to the male snout, some more boning for the nasal canal, but not nearly as pronounced as on you Terrans."

Jennifer took it all in, then asked quietly "What has happened to him? What did I do to him?"

The alien female picked up one of Jennifer's hands and clasped it between hers. "You have done nothing. The two of you have spent a lot of time together, and nothing happened then. The mission commander was due to exit cycle today or tomorrow. No one ever considered the possibility that it would happen with an alien female. Otherwise, it would've been the males in sequestration and us females would have performed the survey."

"I remember Myka telling me something about cycle. It's when you're susceptible to mating, right?"

Poke patted Jennifer's hand. "This is not something we talk about with others. It is a very private thing. But yes, you are essentially correct. Cycle is when we are predisposed to bonding with someone of the other gender. The reason why you have not seen a female until now is that the 5 females on board ship all went into cycle. Prematurely. On the same day. Most unusual." She lifted her top hand and gently rubbed the top of her snout, much the same way a person would scratch their nose. "For some reason, which we will have to discover as soon as is possible, Myka bonded with you."

"He what--? He can't be bonded to me. He's an alien. Or I'm an alien, depending on how you look at it."

"That's what we all assumed. Terran pheromones were sufficiently different from those of the Wakira. Same with body odors. It's the pheromones that trigger the bonding, but it's the body scent that is the bond. We stop producing those pheromones as soon as we bond, because we no longer go into cycle. But Terran females don't cycle. You produce pheromones almost all the time. Which begs the question -- why here, why now? He hadn't bonded with you for over two ninedays. Why this time? And are the other males in cycle at risk of bonding with you as well? This is why the physician insisted you remain here."

"Crap. He kept saying something about this mission getting worse, before we got back here. Unless the doctor can undo this, the fecal matter will really have hit the fan."

Poke was confused by the saying but let it pass unchallenged. "It cannot be undone, Jennifer. He is now bonded to you for life. He can never even contemplate seeking another mate. He could never bond with another female."

Jennifer's face went ashen. "Oh God, no. I've destroyed his future, then." She looked into the alien female's eyes. "I didn't know. I had no intention of bonding with any of you. Oh crap. And now his dad's coming. 'Hey dad! Meet your new alien daughter-in-law'."

"It is worse than that, Jennifer. Much much worse. For the Empire, in particular."

"How does my bonding with a mission commander affect the Empire?"

"You do not know who his father is?"

"No. I assumed he had to be someone reasonably important, in order to be able to get a ship to fly him here. I thought he was a war hero, or something."

Poke blinked twice. "He did not tell you? His father is Our Father."

Jennifer shook her head, not comprehending. "Our father? You're Myka's sister?"

She blinked twice again. "No. I am not his littermate. Our Father is the Emperor."

Jennifer blanched. "The Emperor is coming here? Oh crap! And now this has happened." She paused. "Oh my God! That means Myka is a prince!"

"He is the heir, Jennifer. You have just been mated to the next Emperor of the Wakira."

Once again, Jennifer shook her head, this time in disbelief. "This is beginning to sound like some sort of bad fairy tale. Lonely misunderstood girl meets alien prince who takes her as his princess." She rolled her eyes at the thought. "Something tells me it would have been better for everyone if I had run from the ship before it landed, like the others did. I could've grabbed my dad and run away. Then Myka wouldn't be stuck married to an alien."

Poke blinked twice. In her mind, she played out what the consequences of that alternate action would have been. The survey team would likely not have understood that there was something called fiction. They would have assumed that the Terrans were aligned in some way with the Klingons, and that they in turn were aligned with the Empire's greatest enemy -- the Kendarit. And the survey team would be almost back to Homeworld, with this planet now just ashes. "Do not criticize yourself, Jennifer. You did no wrong. Obviously, our medical scientists knew far less than they had thought. You have been a great help to the survey -- I know that you have greatly influenced the mission commander."

Jennifer stared at the corner of Myka's desk where he frequently perched. "Look at what it got him. The Emperor is not going to be happy when he finds out that Myka bonded with me. His future is now ruined, and I have no doubt that the bonding somehow is going to reflect poorly on the survey results and what will come from that."

Poke flinched, but Jennifer didn't notice. She looked at the same spot that Jennifer had fixated on. "Unfortunately, Jennifer, there's still more that you need to know."

"More? Why do I get the impression that it's more bad news?"

"In your discussions, did the mission commander ever talk about Wakiran society and Wakiran families?"

Her gaze never left the corner of the desk. She desperately wished Myka would soon be sitting there telling her that it was all a false alarm. "He said something about how the females dominate the households, while the males dominate the society. Some sort of parallel structure. I figured that it was a way of creating some sort of gender-based balance of power."

"You are correct, Jennifer. Bonded females rule in the family. Males are subservient towards their mates. It is part of the bonding process. Even the most headstrong male becomes submissive to his mate upon bonding. To counter this, tradition requires that males dominate in society. Organizations are always led by males. The Empire can only have an Emperor. It can never have a female ruler. In an organization, if a bonded pair work together, the male dominates. Once away from their jobs, the female dominates. It's a balance that has prevented gender-based uprisings from occurring, since The Before Time. It is a necessary part of the Empire and of society. Balance of power is a necessity."

"So, this means that I have to dominate Myka, when we're together? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Poke took her eyes off the desk, and looked at the barbarian sitting beside her. It was clear that she had no clue of what was going to happen. "That, unfortunately, is not the information I'm trying to impart. It is much much more than that, Jennifer. Much more. There is a position in society that is called the Mother of the Empire--."

"He mentioned that once. I called it the Warrior Queen. Something to do with being a figurehead leader of the military, I think."

Again the alien woman blinked twice. The Terran doesn't know at all, she thought to herself. "Part of the necessary balance requires a balance of power with the Emperor. Since The Before Time, a female has been appointed the Mother of the Empire. The Great Mother. She is more than a military figurehead, Jennifer. She IS the military head."

"Huh?" Jennifer looked at the alien woman with a confused look on her face, before turning her eyes back to the desk.

"Like a mother protects her offspring -- protects and nurtures -- the Great Mother protects and nurtures her children. All of the Wakira. Every male and female. No matter how young or how old. We 'become' her children. We act like her children -- wanting to obey, to please, to support and to protect. We have never been able to figure out why this change in us takes place. It's not just tradition -- we cannot help ourselves. And the female, when she becomes the Great Mother, also changes, becoming more like a mother. She looks upon us as her children, expecting obedience and submission.

"The Great Mother possesses more power than the Emperor does in a certain limited area. She is the one who plots and plans military actions, and manages the military forces. It is not ceremonial. She actually composes the battle plans, often with input from her generals, but that isn't a requirement. She is also responsible for internal migration and colonization, for health, medicine, and welfare, for education and for culture. In these areas, she rules. The Emperor can ask, but cannot overrule. In everything else -- internal commerce, external relations, economics, justice, politics, taxation, and whatever else, the Emperor rules. The Great Mother remains completely silent in these areas."

"I get the impression you're leading towards telling me something that I'm not going to like to hear."

"The Mother of the Empire is always either the mate of the Emperor, or the mate of the heir. You, Jennifer, will be the next Great Mother."

Jennifer had trouble letting the words sink in. "Being the mate of the next Emperor I could possibly handle. But being the next Great Mother? The Wakira will never accept an alien being their mother. Assuming I've understood you correctly."

"The Empire will have no choice, Jennifer. Nor will its people."

"But I don't know anything about interstellar warfare! I can't be your Great Mother. Crap! What are we going to do?"

Poke patted Jennifer's hand once again. "There will be time. The current Mother is in reasonable health, and will remain in the role of Our Mother for a number of years yet. You will have time to learn all that you need to learn. Normally, once the candidate has been found to be acceptable, several years pass before she is appointed."

"How am I going to be deemed acceptable by anyone? Who decides anyways? Is there some sort of great council that gathers to question the female and test her?" Jennifer's gaze returned to the desk. Oh Myka, hurry back and tell me that it was a false alarm!

A light flickered just above the desk's surface, right in the corner where she was looking. Poke noticed it too. "There is the answer to your question. The symbiote knows what has happened and has appeared. It decides if you are acceptable. And it decides when you are ready to take over the role."

The flickering stopped, and gelatinous gray mass sat on the desk. "What is that?! Where did it come from?!"

"It is a symbiote. Since the beginning of our recorded history -- at the end of The Before Time -- a symbiote has decided if the candidate was acceptable, then when the candidate was ready to assume the position. We do not know where they come from. We do not know how they know when a bonding has taken place, or where. But here it is. It knew that Myka --" she used the same form of the name that Jennifer did "-- was here on Terra, on board this ship, and that he had just bonded. It has come to join with you, Jennifer. To become one with you."

Jennifer looked at Poke with a horrified look on her face. "Become one with me? What the heck does that mean?" She looked back at the strange looking mass and started feeling queasy. "I'm frightened, Poke. Every part of me is screaming to run away."

"You cannot, Jennifer. I beg you not to. If you refuse, the Empire will collapse into civil war within a decade. Planet against planet, tribe against tribe, clan against clan, family against family, gender against gender. If you refuse, you condemn us all to certain destruction."

The horrified look was replaced by a look of incredulity. "You want me to let that thing into my head? Just so you won't go around killing each other? When I stayed on the football field to greet your people, I wasn't offering myself up as some sort of bizarre sacrifice. I didn't ask for any of this. I just wanted to be helpful. It's not bad enough that I was going to have to leave my dad and my dreams just to be the future Emperor's consort, but now you're insisting that I stick something into my head that you admit you know nothing about. You ask for too much, Poke! Dammit! I just wanted to be nice to you people." She turned her eyes back to the gray mass sitting at the corner of the desk.

"No one can make you do it, Jennifer. No one will. It was a mistake to send the heir on a mission. At least, with him still unbonded. But they sent him. The scientists were sure that males would be safe from bonding with Terrans. They were clearly wrong. And we have no idea why it has happened. But it has happened. And I am not exaggerating when I say that tens of billions of lives will be lost if you do not allow the symbiote to join with you and enter your mind. As a young girl, I learned about the joining. They taught us so we would be ready, in case it happened to one of us. I got to meet with Our Mother. She said that she scarcely noticed that the symbiote was there. She talked like we talk. She walked like we walk. She had the same emotions as before, just like all the other Wakira. Her thinking scarcely changed, she said. Except for the change in attitude towards the rest of us -- when she became Our Mother in spirit not just in title."

"How many other aliens have been chosen by these symbiotes?"

Poke sighed. "None. You are the first. No one thought this sort of thing would ever happen."

"So, you don't know what it will do to me. It might not like the fact that I'm not Wakira. Instead of joining with me, it might try and harm me."

"There is no reason to assume that it would, Jennifer," she replied.

"But you have no proof that it won't!" Jennifer stood and faced the alien female. "Poke, you're asking me to do something that I absolutely don't want to do, for a people whom I scarcely know, risking who knows what in the process."

Jennifer spun to face the mass that was still quivering. "What the heck are you?" she said to it. "What would you do to me? Would I be too alien for you?"

She turned back to Poke. "You're asking me to give up my hopes, my dreams, my family, my future, my very being -- who I am -- so your people won't go and kill each other. You want me to give up everything. Everything!"

Poke looked down at the floor. "Yes."

Jennifer walked past the mass to the far wall, and turned to face the Wakiran again. "This is unbelievable. This is totally unbelievable. Do you ask for the impossible from other species that you survey? Or am I the lucky grand prize winner?"

Poke's eyes stayed down. "I do not understand the reference."

Jennifer walked back and sat back down beside her. "Nevermind." This time, she picked up one of the alien's hands. "I don't want to go, Poke. I don't want to be paraded around your Empire as the barbarian female that the prince brought back with him. I don't want to be the only human around. And I certainly don't want that thing in my head. What am I supposed to do? You guys are asking too much of me."

Poke lifted her eyes up. "There are no other options, Jennifer. You give up everything, as you said, and come back with us, and we live. You refuse, and we shall surely die. This never should have happened! If we females had not entered cycle prematurely, one of us might have accidentally bonded with him, before we realized we had entered cycle. Then neither of us would be in this situation. But it has happened the way it has. I do not know your religious beliefs, but this must be what the Provider, our god, wanted to have happen. I have no idea why. This is sheer disaster. Ignoring entirely the fact that the Emperor is 12 days away. A surplus of bother! They should never have sent us here. Your species is too immature -- your technology too primitive still. There was no need. And now this. The future of my species depends solely on the decision of a frightened alien female. It cannot possibly get worse than this!" Her eyes again looked down, and her face became drawn, as if she was trying to cry.

Jennifer said nothing. She gently stroked the top of Poke's left hand. "Oh God, why? I should've run. I should've run, should've run, should've run. But no, I had to seize the opportunity to be the point of first contact! A nerdette's dream. Only now, it's turned into a fricking nightmare!"

Again, she fell silent. Poke was too distraught to speak. Are my people at risk, Jennifer asked in her mind. Has this visit just been about learning about us? Are we being judged? What happens if we are and we've failed? Madness! But what if it's true? Would they even tell us that they were going to destroy us? That we've failed somehow and that we have to be eliminated? If so, would my sacrificing myself to save the Empire mean that mankind would be left unharmed? I think I could do it -- I think I could do it if that was the only way to ensure that we would survive. But how do I know if that's the case? Are we in danger? Are they going to destroy us? They haven't said what the consequences might be, or even if there are consequences. If I don't have to do this in order to save my people, I don't want to. Do I offer to? Would my offering to allow that thing into my head mean absolute protection for my people and my planet? Oh God, rescue me from this, please!

"I don't want to do it Poke. I can't bear the thought of having an alien presence in my head the rest of my life. I can't bear the thought of being in a place where I would know no one. Where I wouldn't have a single friend. But how could I live with myself if I refuse and let billions of your people die?" She dropped Poke's hand and wiped away tears. "I don't want to go --. What was that curse you used? A surplus of bother?"

The alien's eyes were still fixed on the floor. "We are not as well endowed with expletives as you Terrans. A shipload of fecal matter is definitely far more appropriate for this situation."

Again, there was silence. After several moments, Jennifer finally spoke. "Will you stay with me?" Poke froze. "Will you be with me? Will you be there for me? I have to have someone. I can't relate to a prince or an emperor. I'm not even sure that I'll be able to relate to Myka as a lover. I'll need someone who can understand me. Whom I can relate to. I can't face an entire Empire alone."

Poke's face brightened. "Of course I will, Jennifer. I will be your guide. I will speak only English with you. I will learn to understand your humor. I'll even pretend to like your music."

Their eyes met; tears were streaming down Jennifer's face. "I'm afraid, Poke. I've never been so afraid before in my life!" She stood. "Oh crap, what am I agreeing to?" Poke stood, and slouched to be closer to eye level. "We better hurry before I come to my senses and change my mind."

"Thank you Jennifer. On behalf of my people -- my species -- thank you!"

Jennifer buried her face in her hands. "Oh damn. I don't want to do this. But I have to. There's no choice --. Why did you guys have to come? Why am I having to sacrifice myself for a people I don't know?!" She dropped her hands. "Oh crap! How do we do this?"

Poke quickly explained the process to Jennifer. The symbiote gains access to the mind through skin contact. It would be worn like clothing -- or more precisely -- like a second skin. She needed to completely undress, then place the symbiote anywhere on her body. It would distribute itself. Within seconds, she would start to have visions, first of her past, then one single vision of the future. At that point in time, the symbiote will have entered her mind.

Jennifer undressed, then walked over to the still-quivering mass, while Poke politely looked the other way. "I hate this Poke. I want so much to run from the ship as far as I can."

"Try not to feel fear or apprehension, Jennifer. You must try as best as possible to welcome it into your mind. That is what we were taught."

"Protect me, Lord," she said under her breath, as she picked up the mass and placed it on her left thigh.

It was pleasantly cool on her skin, as it slowly spread itself up onto her torso, and down the leg at the same time. Jennifer couldn't bear to watch. Be nice to me, she kept saying in her mind, hoping that the thing would hear her and understand. She felt it spread around her left leg, around her groin and start down her right leg. She closed her eyes, and let the nerves in her skin tell her where the symbiote had spread to. Around her backside, and slowly up her back. Across her ribs and over her breasts. One shoulder then the other, then down both arms.

"I'm afraid, Poke!" she called out.

"Try not to be, Jennifer. Welcome it. Think of it not as an invader but as a friend."

Then the visions came. In the first, she was a young girl, climbing out her bedroom window clutching her glitter dress Barbie. Her first visit to the Stone porch. As soon as it faded, the second appeared. Her mother and father laughing, being nice to each other. A late summer evening by a lake. She was 7; it was her Great Camping Adventure. The last time her family was happy together. It too faded, and was replaced by an older Jennifer. She was in an arena. It was a gymnastics competition, and she was about to do a vault. The costume she wore in the vision had purple sleeves -- college. The regional intercollegiate championship. Her first vault she had botched, the second one she had aced. Hopefully, the thing wouldn't make her relive her most embarrassing moment. The step back, the hop step, exploding down the runway, hit the board, half-twist, touch the horse, complete the twist, null it out, pull hard for the double back summy. Nailed it! She felt good inside as this vision too faded. She was now sitting at her drum kit. They were performing. She looked around, and recognized the gig immediately. Davenport, in a small theater setting. Biggest gig they ever had. Best performance ever. This vision, too, faded.

Then she saw a battlefield. A brutally scarred landscape, stumps of destroyed buildings, smoke and searing heat blowing against her skin. And bodies. Dead bodies laying scattered all across the ground in front of her. As far as the eye could see. Thousands, millions of dead bodies. No billions. Billions dead, all because of her. She cried out wordlessly. Whole planets destroyed; civilian populations wiped out. Innocent civilians dead, all because of her. "Noooooo!!!! Make it stop!!!!"

Somewhere a voice said something unintelligible.

Then blackness. And a presence. "Slowly," she told it. "Don't push. Don't push!" She could no longer hear, nor see, nor feel. As if she had been cut off from her body. "Don't leave me this way! I let you in -- don't leave me trapped like this!"

She could sense it move from place to place in her mind. "Not my music! That's the most important thing in my life! There's plenty of room -- don't delete who I am. Please, I beg you. Don't destroy me." She felt like crying, but found that she couldn't. "Please. I let you in. I didn't fight. I tried to welcome you. Give me my body back, please."

The voice spoke again. "Jennifer, are you alright?" The voice was distorted and reverbed. Almost like an echo. "Jennifer, can you hear me?"

"Who are you?" another voice said. It too was distorted and echoed.

"It's Pokaifashta, Jennifer. Did it work? Did it enter your mind?"

"It doesn't sound like you. I don't sound like me. I think it's trying to get used to my sense of hearing." There was a pause. "I still can't see a thing. Hey, it sounds better!"

"It may take more time to adjust itself to you, Jennifer" the voice, now much more like Poke's told her. "You screamed. I didn't know if it had rejected you."

"It was my vision. Billions dead and it's my fault. If the visions come true, Poke, I could end up being the worst thing that could have happened for your people."

A male voice asked "Has it accepted her?"

"Myka? Are you okay? You looked like you had a stroke. Any idea when I'm going to be able to see again?"

The voices were now much clearer. "I bonded with you Jennifer. Provider help us, but I bonded with you."

"I know. Poke explained it to me. That's why I've got this thing in my head. The people of the Empire will never accept an alien as the Mother. You guys need to come up with a backup plan of some kind." Jennifer's sense of touch returned. "I've got my body back, I think. Still can't see."

"As I told you, Jennifer. There can be no backup plan. The Empire will have to accept you. Though it will undoubtedly take some time for my people to become adjusted to having an alien as the next Mother."

Suddenly, light filled Jennifer's eyes as her vision returned. She could make out shapes, but most of her field of vision was filled with odd-shaped squiggles floating in front of her face. She knew that it was some sort of heads-up display. Millions of bits of data appearing and disappearing. "Too much information!" she yelled. "Just this room. Just this room."

The amount of squiggles decreased dramatically. "I felt like I was getting data from all over the place. I take it that these squiggles are the written form of your language?" The shapes solidified into their normal form. Myka was sitting in his chair again, his face still a little lax and his eyes not quite focused. Jennifer stumbled over to the desk and leaned on it and brought her face close to his. "Are you okay? You still look awful."

"Bonding has that effect in some Wakira. I believe you have a good idiom for this -- being hit by a truck."

Jennifer brought her right hand up to wipe away the most recent tears but found that there was something in the way. "Am I wearing some sort of helmet?"

Myka looked up at her. "Mother calls it a mask, at least that's how the word seems to translate. There are multiple versions -- this is the one she uses most of the time. I used to hate looking up at it as a child when she would lecture me."

"Why? It doesn't seem to be tinted. Can't you see my face?"

"No. Just a pink solid. Not a mirror, nothing translucent or transparent. Just a pink solid."

"But I can see you perfectly. Excluding the data streams that keep running across my field of vision. They're English now. Ohhh, hey! Pull down menus! I can scan you, Myka--. Elevated heart rate. Shallow breathing. Wow! Parts of your brain are really active!" She looked at Poke and shambled over. "I'm still not walking all that well. Fourth in your class?! What are you doing working as an assistant?"

Poke's face twitched into what Jennifer knew was the Wakiran version of a smile. "It is a long story, Jennifer. But yes, I scored higher than all but 3 males. Even those who scored lower than I are posted on some ship or another."

"That doesn't seem fair." She continued playing with the pulldown menus that only she could see. "Paratanda? That's your home planet?"

The smile was losing some of its spontaneity. "Yes. It is about 40 standard light years from Homeworld. One of the original core worlds."

"I'm looking at some video. It looks beautiful. Is that you? As a young girl?"

The smile was flickering badly. "I do not know, Jennifer. I cannot see what you are seeing."

"Sorry. I'm just kind of juiced by all of this. Ohh, you were assigned on this mission by --."

"Jennifer," Poke interrupted. "We do not need to hear the things that we already know. I apologize for saying this, but to us, it seems rude to rummage through our personal histories without cause."

"I didn't mean any harm. I just find it fascinating that I can access all this information just by looking at some text and blinking twice. Now, how do I get out of this thing?"

"The symbiote cannot be removed. You must continue to wear it at all times. You can cause the mask to disappear and reappear at will, much the same way you saw the symbiote appear on the desk. Again, we do not know where it goes, or how it knows where you are, but it does."

"Haven't your scientists tried to find out these things, or hasn't anyone bothered to ask?"

"We ask, but we no longer try to find the answers," Myka said. The last attempt was made 16 centuries ago. A laboratory, deep within a planet, with an observation deck and remote sensors. The Mother, of course, had to be present. The scientists attempted to scan the weapon -- it will appear some time in the future much like the mask. Everyone in the laboratory died. Everyone in the observation deck likewise died. All who were observing remotely died. Even those located off-planet. All at the same time, without warning. Only the Mother survived unharmed. Included in the fatalities was her mate, the reigning Emperor. No attempt has been made since, and we tend to avoid deliberating what the symbiotes are and how they do these things they do. We have learned our lesson all too well."

"So, you have to simply accept the presence of the symbiotes and their power to dictate who becomes your Great Mother? With no idea why they would be interested in the Wakira or the Empire?"

Poke answered. "It is what it is, Jennifer. We accept what we cannot fight against. It is a part of the Empire and the Wakira. As we have just told you, those who challenge the way things are -- have been for millenia -- die."

Jennifer walked back over to Myka's desk, her gait now almost normal again. "I'm really sorry that this has happened, Myka. I had no idea that it would. There was no intention or desire to have you bond with me. I feel as though I have destroyed your future because of what has happened."

He stood and gingerly walked around to face her. "No one thought that it was possible. I knew that the relationship that we had established was one of simple friendship. I cannot go back to that relationship. My body and my mind are firmly entrenched in this new commitment. I cannot even regret that it happened, Beloved. This definitely is not what I wished would happen, but it has. And it cannot be changed. And I cannot even conceive of being with another female. It is what it is. The Provider has made it so. And what will transpire from it will be His doing as well. How my parents will take it -- I am dreading to find out. But it is done. And you are not guilty of anything. Please, Beloved, do not criticize yourself for what has transpired."

Jennifer caressed his left cheek with the knuckles of her right hand -- their version of a kiss. "Thank you for -- everything. We're both in the same boat. Both of us have now lost any chance at our dreams, and we both face a daunting future."

The three of them discussed what they needed to do, given the situation. Pokaifashta would train Jennifer in their language and culture; Jennifer would try to be as close to fluent in the language as she could be for when the Emperor arrived, and Myka was left with the unenviable task of informing his parents what had happened. Jennifer learned how to control the flow of data she would get while "masked" and how to make the mask appear and disappear.

Late in the evening, while they commiserated, a call from the sentries at the barrier on Emerald came saying that a older Terran claiming to be Gerry Hodges was requesting entry, even though the curfew for entry had long since passed. While Jennifer quickly donned the long-sleeved scrubs she had been wearing (to hide the pink symbiote), Myka informed the sentries that she would soon be there to help him through.

Just as she was about to leave, she confirmed with Poke that she would be back not long after daybreak to start her training, and apologized again to Myka for destroying his future. It was apparent to the two aliens that Jennifer refused to accept that she was not to blame at all.