he: A Novel

When his daughter was young, he would take her to Sunday school at the Beverly Hills Community Church. It was important to him that she should predicate her existence on the possibility of a higher order to the universe, even if he himself remained doubtful about such a design. Now, with the chill entering his bones, he thinks the embrace of order may have been conceivable to him only in terms of his art, and so many of the problems in his personal life arose from a failure to comprehend the distinction between these two facets of his being.

He wishes he were back in Hal Roach’s office on the lot. He would like to be able to tell Hal Roach what he has concluded. He has not spoken with Hal Roach in so long. It ended poorly between them, and when he reads an interview with Hal Roach, or sees Hal Roach being celebrated on television, he encounters a version of their years together that is not entirely familiar to him.

But they are both old men now, and old men misremember.





125


He and Babe make Going Bye-Bye!

They make Them Thar Hills.

They make The Live Ghost.

They make Tit for Tat.

They make The Fixer Uppers.

They make Thicker Than Water.

These are the last of them. No more short pictures. Hal Roach will have his way. The industry will have its way.

He feels the heart going out of him. He can tolerate Hal Roach’s manipulation of contracts, Hal Roach’s refusal to pay him what he believes to be his due, Hal Roach’s coolness toward him – he can tolerate all these as long as he can make the pictures he wishes to make, as long as he can be proud of what he creates, and as long as he can be with Babe. Babe is alone in understanding the effort he puts into the construction of these pictures, and the cost of that effort to him. Babe is alone in understanding how much he cares about what appears on the screen after their names.

And meanwhile Hal Roach hunts.

Hal Roach flies his plane.

Hal Roach blusters.

Hal Roach licenses Henry Ginsberg to engage in guile and perfidy.

Because Hal Roach does not care.





126


Another round of contract negotiations. He anticipates their approach like the footsteps of bailiffs on the stairs, their imminence presaging no good.

Hal Roach has their next picture lined up.

Scotland and India, Hal Roach tells him. Kilts. We may even run with that as a title.

He knows what it is about. He has read the treatment.

Well? says Hal Roach. What do you think?

What he thinks is that Hal Roach is still preventing him from settling his contract at the same time as Babe.

What he thinks is that the proposed new contract is worse than the old.

What he thinks is that this is picture-making by diktat.

What he thinks is that Hal Roach continues to nurse a grudge from Babes in Toyland.

What he thinks is that he’s still paying Lois half his salary, and the half that remains to him isn’t enough.

What he thinks is that he may soon be marrying – in a second ceremony, and therefore for the second time – the wrong woman.

What he thinks is that the best of his career may already be over, and all that is left is decline.

What he thinks is that Hal Roach wants him gone.

But what he says is:

– I don’t like it very much.

What Hal Roach thinks is that this is not going to happen again.

Well, says Hal Roach, then we have a problem.

He consults with Ben Shipman. Ben Shipman suggests that obstruction may not be the ideal approach to negotiating with Hal Roach. He informs Ben Shipman that he is not negotiating.

A negotiation, he tells Ben Shipman, involves discussion. It requires give and take. Hal Roach negotiates like Mussolini.

Hal’s not that bad, says Ben Shipman

– Have you met Mussolini?

Ben Shipman admits that he has not.

– Then let’s not jump to conclusions.

He arrives at the lot, and is directed to Henry Ginsberg’s office. He believes that Henry Ginsberg should have a bowl of water and a towel before him, just so Henry Ginsberg can wash his hands after the deed is done.

Like Pilate, except Pilate took no pleasure in what was accomplished.

We have presented you with a new contract, says Henry Ginsberg.

– It’s not satisfactory.

Henry Ginsberg ignores him. Like Bill Seiter, Henry Ginsberg prefers to work from a script. No improvisation is permissible.

– We have also given you details of the next motion picture under your existing contract.

– Which isn’t satisfactory either.

– Without a long-term contract agreement, work cannot proceed on the motion picture in question. As a consequence of this, and your refusal to commit to the scheduled motion picture, we regard you as being in breach of your existing contract.

This is nimble footwork, he thinks, and no mistake.

– Which means?

– Which means we’re terminating your employment. You’re fired. Please be off the lot within the hour.





127


This time, Hal Roach is prepared, and Louella Parsons is primed.

What Hal Roach does is take a business dispute and inject it with rancor. Hal Roach is not a stupid man, and needs his stars. But Hal Roach is also a proud man, and needs his dignity.

And Hal Roach is not only the head of a studio. Hal Roach is an originator. Hal Roach creates stories, and these stories Hal Roach presents to the actors and directors in his employ. Hal Roach does not care to have these stories rejected by a man with no conception of how to tell a tale, or to see these stories torn apart by one who cannot even plot a sensible course for his own life.

Hal Roach tells the press that the studio has terminated the contract of one of its two biggest stars because of his refusal to cooperate in story matters. Then Hal Roach tells the press that he has terminated his own contract. If anyone in the press notices the contradiction between these two statements, there appears to be a disinclination to point it out.

Finally, with the waters muddied to the studio’s satisfaction, Hal Roach turns Louella Parsons loose in their depths. Louella Parsons reveals to the world that he and Babe have broken up, that they have been feuding privately with each other for years, that Hal Roach has always been the pacifying influence.

Until now.

He reads Louella Parsons’s column with disbelief. This is a lie. It is a deliberate attempt to damage not only his reputation, but also Babe’s. That the information it contains comes from Hal Roach is beyond dispute: Hal Roach is named as the verifying source in the article.

Ben Shipman calls him.

They’re playing dirty, says Ben Shipman. And I think Hal may be serious about dropping you permanently.

He is concerned now. He wishes to be paid properly, and to make pictures of merit, but he also wishes to be employed.

And he does not wish to lose Babe.

Make it clear to the studio, and to anyone who’ll listen, that you didn’t resign, says Ben Shipman. I’ll call Louella Parsons and see if we can get our side of the story out there. And you – talk to Babe.

He talks to Babe. Babe does not hesitate. Babe is on his side.

Privately, Babe is always his friend. Now Babe also backs him publicly.

And the Audience is with them. Even Louella Parsons realizes this, and moderates her tone, although no apology is forthcoming, and she still manages to rake over the ashes of his divorce once again.

It is a month of misery for him.

Eventually Hal Roach concedes. Hal Roach’s pride is not worth the price that might be exacted for it.

But each of these battles leaves wounds, and they do not heal.





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