Each word was like a gift he hadn’t known he’d been so desperate to receive.
“All these years,” Andi said, “I’ve held on to my hatred of you. And when you showed back up and you told me the truth...I don’t know what I feel for you anymore.”
He loosed a breath. “I don’t know what I feel for you, either.”
Andi laughed softly. “We’re terrible together, you and I.”
“Are we?” Dex asked. “There was a time when we were great together.”
He realized that her hands had dropped to find his. That their fingers were suddenly intertwining, and she was pulling him closer to her, until their bodies were almost touching.
“Andi,” he whispered. But his words were lost.
She angled her head up to meet his, and when their lips touched, Dex felt a spark so intense it made him feel as if he were electricity itself. Her full lips slid against his, enticing him with such wanting, he couldn’t resist the lure.
Then she was tugging at his shirt, yanking him closer. Their limbs tangled together as their chests breathed as one. He lifted her up and spun her so that her back was up against the bookshelves.
Their kisses became insistent. Hungry. The world around them ceased to exist. All that mattered was this moment and nothing more. His tongue teased at her breathless lips as she ran her hands through his hair.
This moment was familiar as much as it was foreign. They weren’t the same people they used to be, but somehow, with her in his arms, his lips against hers, Dex felt as if he was coming home.
They kissed until they couldn’t breathe. Until Dex’s body ached with wanting, but he knew they had to stop. When they parted, he kept his eyes closed as he rested his forehead against hers.
They stayed like that for a while, in shared silence.
“Dex?” Andi asked.
He pulled away from her so he could look into her eyes.
“We can’t... This won’t ever...”
“I know,” he said.
And in his heart, he knew that it was true. Their two worlds were never meant to become one. That even through the forgiveness, even with the unavoidable feelings that echoed between them, they could never share a future. They had already had their chance, long ago. They’d both ruined it in their own ways.
“What will you do, after this?” Andi asked.
He shrugged. “I’ll become a Guardian again. I’ll do whatever is asked of me, go wherever my orders tell me to go.”
“And the Marauder?” Andi asked.
This part Dex had already thought of, and it was what had surprised him the most. “She’s yours,” he said. “You earned her through sweat and blood.”
She laughed softly. He’d miss that laugh. Someday she’d share it with another man, someone who would give her the love she deserved.
“If you ever need a crew,” Andi said, “you can call on us.”
He knew it was her way of thanking him. He nodded, sighing as exhaustion swept over him. But he didn’t want to go.
“It’s late,” Andi said. “We should probably try to sleep before tomorrow.”
The ball, Dex remembered suddenly.
As they stood, straightening their clothes, he took her hand in his.
“I’ve never done this before,” he said. He felt foolish. Like a boy again, hoping for the attention of a beautiful girl. “And I know that we don’t have a future together, after this is over. But I think...I’d like it if...if you...”
“Oh,” Andi glanced at the ground between them. She shook her head, a sad smile on her lips. “I’m already going with Valen.”
Dex laughed bitterly. “I never was good with timing, was I?”
She sighed. They turned to leave, walking in silence to the library doors. Before they parted, Andi placed a hand on his arm.
“It was good, Dex,” she said. “The time we spent together, before. I wouldn’t take any of it back.”
She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek.
When they parted ways, Dex couldn’t help but feel as if he were seeing Androma Racella for the very last time.
Chapter Seventy-Six
* * *
ANDROMA
HER DREAMS WERE WILD, full of ships spiraling out of control. A tattooed man made out of stars with a handsome, devilish smile took the throttle as they spun endlessly into the black.
It wasn’t his ship, and somewhere in the darkness, she heard the screams of her crew. Lives she’d sworn to protect, to keep safe no matter the cost.
“Give me the throttle before you kill us all!” Andi tried to stop him, but when she reached out, his tattoos turned to tallies.
Hundreds of them.
Always, the tallies, countless numbers of those she’d struck down in years past, and the ones she would in years to come.
There was one that stood out the most, a dark mark on his forehead, right between his eyes.
“The first kill is always the hardest, Baroness,” he whispered.
He turned into Valen, and his eyes, once hazel, turned to gold and began to drip red with hot, steaming blood.
*
Andi woke to the kiss of sunlight on her skin.
And the too-sharp claws of a horned poof as it pounced onto her face.
She yelped and skittered backward, slamming her skull against the headboard as Gilly appeared in her open doorway, laughing as she scooped up the hellish creature and wrapped it in a tight embrace.
“That thing,” Andi said, as she rubbed her throbbing head and glared at the orange fellibrag sticking out from under Gilly’s arm, “deserves to be skewered.”
Gilly stuck her tongue out. “You have no heart.”
“I do have one, actually, and I’m convinced that monster wants to consume it.” She frowned. “What are you doing in here anyway, Gil?”
The door to her room was cracked open. Servants rushed by outside, hauling boxes, sweeping the floors, speaking in hushed but excited tones.
Gilly yanked the covers from Andi’s body, then grabbed her hand and practically ripped her from bed. Havoc hissed in defiance, and Andi sneered back at it. Someday, she’d kill it. Accidentally. With her bare hands.
Gilly’s eyes flashed with excitement as she bobbed up and down on her toes. “We’re going to become beautiful today! It’s time for the ball!”
Before Andi could answer, Gilly tugged her along, out the open door and across the hallway, where another door stood ajar. She could hear Breck’s voice inside, yammering away, colorful curses spilling out into the hall.
Gilly kicked the door, and it swung wide, revealing the girls inside.
Breck stood before a large mirror, holding a billowing yellow gown to her chest.
“This,” she said, turning to look at Andi and Gilly as they entered, “was made for a queen.”
“And tonight, you’ll be one,” Andi said as she yawned and shut the door behind her.
Breck sighed and began to sway, hugging the shimmering fabric.
“Not that one,” Gilly said. “I told you, I want to match.”
“Matching gowns, Gil? There is nothing less fashionable in all of Mirabel.”
“Well, tonight, I say we match.” Gilly ripped the dress from Breck’s arms, giggling as she curled it into a ball and tossed it across the room. It landed on the bed, where Lira sat, her legs dangling over the edge.