NO MATTER HOW much air filled her lungs, she was still left gasping for breath.
A stone was crushing her. A single solitary stone, no larger than the palm of her hand, was leeching the life from her very soul. It felt as if the weight of a thousand boulders were all forced into it, seeking to torment her endlessly by giving her air but never actually allowing her to breathe.
A disembodied voice whispered sweet, terrible nothings in her ear.
“Pathetic.”
“Unworthy.”
“Weak.”
In these moments of complete helplessness, when she couldn’t move or think for herself, Nor felt like a pawn in someone else’s game.
She needed control and power, but those were oceans away from the cracked ground she seemed to become.
The weight of the stone increased to an unbearable pressure. No longer did it allow air into her quivering lungs. She was dying, being forced into a premature grave.
No matter how much she willed her invisible tormentors to stop, she kept on sinking, until even the ground could not take the pressure any longer.
A chasm opened up underneath her broken body and swallowed her whole.
Falling.
She was falling into the black abyss. She plummeted toward a fiery furnace that welcomed her with its jagged fangs.
All the while, the stone never left her chest. Not until the fire devoured her.
Even then, she still felt the pain of a thousand boulders.
*
Nor jolted awake, grappling for something, anything, to anchor her to reality.
She was so cold. Her body, coated in sweat, was attracting the frigid recycled air that clung to her like a second skin.
Darkness surrounded her, compressed her. She was back in the nightmare, must be. Then, no more than a heartbeat later, she was grounded in this world by a sturdy hand she knew all too well.
Zahn.
“Nor?” His hand came around her shoulder, pulling her toward his bare chest. “I’m here. Everything is fine, I’m right here.” He cooed into her ear, attempting to calm her erratic breathing.
“I had the dream again,” she whispered. “It was...so dark.”
His lips were on her skin, his breath warm as he spoke in a low, even tone. “I’m going to open the curtains.”
His naked form slid from the bed, leaving it feeling unfamiliar and empty. An ache spread through her chest, reminding her of the dream.
Across the room, the curtains slid open. Nor shielded her eyes from the red haze of early morning as it drifted toward her. Zahn seemed to become one with the shadows of her bedroom as he stepped away from the window.
“Come back to me,” she whispered.
He trotted back to bed then pulled her to him, chasing the monsters of her dream away.
The heat that radiated from him was so comforting, warming her shivering body, unlike the fiery hell she had fallen into during her dream.
By day, Zahn served as her personal bodyguard, protecting her from physical harm. By night, when she had the same nightmare over and over, he was here to perform this dance.
No one but Zahn was allowed to get this close to her. Not just physically, but emotionally, beneath the layers she’d surrounded herself with. No one, not even Darai, was allowed to see her so vulnerable.
“Tell me about it,” he whispered. “Was it the same?”
She nodded. “I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think, Zahn.” She lifted her prosthetic hand to her face to wipe away the tears, then dropped it, disgusted by the sight of the gold metal, of the scars marring her upper wrist. Disgusted with herself for feeling so weak.
But Zahn gently wrapped his warm fingers around her metal ones, then pressed his lips to her cheeks. Kissing away the tears.
“You’re safe,” he said with a sigh. “I will always protect you, Nor.”
“I don’t need protecting,” she whispered.
His soft chuckle sent a shiver down her spine. “Everyone does, at one point or another. You don’t fool me, Nor Solis. You never have, and you never will.”
She leaned her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.
Strong. Steady. The only constant in her life, besides her desire for revenge.
To many people, Nor was the stone-cold ruler who haunted the nightmares of her foes. But to Zahn, she was just Nor. The love of his life, as he was hers.
It had been just the two of them since The Cataclysm took both of their families years ago. He’d seen her at her weakest, and without him she would have lost herself to grief. He was her only friend; the only person she loved. He’d broken through her walls when her father died, and then kept breaking through them until she no longer wished to shut him out.
Leaders, fearless and honest in all the ways that seemed to count, still had other dimensions to them. Other secrets.
Zahn was Nor’s best kept one.
“Don’t leave me,” Nor said, looking up into his eyes. Seeing the passion mirrored there.
“I would never dream of it,” he said.
Their lips touched, and his hands slid down her bare back, gentle at first. Then hungry for more as she let him lay her back down.
“I love you,” Zahn said. “My Nhatyla.”
The lingering fear from her nightmare trickled away as a very different sort of feeling took its place.
Chapter Nineteen
* * *
DEX
DEX HAD FORGOTTEN how fast Andi’s reflexes could be when she was mad.
Furious, actually, he thought, as he watched the shock on her face melt into a mask of pure, boiling rage.
He had only the briefest of seconds to ponder his possible mistake as Andi pushed some sorry fool out of her way. Then Dex’s chair was in Andi’s hands as she lifted it high over her head.
“Dex!” she screamed. And was that a growl he heard coming from her lips?
He barely had time to lift his arms over his head before she slammed the chair down on top of him. Dex crashed against the table, toppling over three glass mugs that shattered against the metal floor.
“What the hell?” Andi yelled.
Dex groaned as he stood, swiping glass from his shirt. Without a doubt, that was going to leave a bruise or two. But at least his plan, painful as it may be, was working.
He turned back to smile at Andi. “That’s all you’ve got, Captain?”
He just needed her to play along, make a big enough show to draw in the Lunamere warden. That would be their ticket inside.
Andi spat on the ground, then rubbed her lips with the back of her sleeve. For one moment, she looked purely Andi, angry as a wet feline and terrifyingly beautiful. Dex felt smug, like he could strut for hours with his head held high.
Then he saw the moment when Andi’s face changed. She transformed into someone else entirely; an actress playing the perfect part.
“How dare you cheat on me!” she snarled.
Dex’s hands fell to his sides. “Wait...what?”
Lira appeared, hands on her hips as she leveled a death glare on him. “So this is the other girl, Dextro?” She looked Andi up and down, then back to Dex. “I’m not very impressed.”