The chestnuts had just sprung from their spiked armor, when Rumpelstiltskin, true to his word, reappeared, his arrival heralded by the startling sound of a resounding Klaxon. Being Friday, their noodle day, both Hannah and Jane ran out of the Geiger house to see who was making such a strange noise and there, proud as a courting peacock, sat Ebbely behind the wheel of a brand-new Model T Sedan.
“Ah, both tall Ladies at once! Perfect! Step right up! Step right up! See the work of art presented here!” Imitating a sideshow barker, the little man waved a beckoning arm. “Behold, before your very eyes, this superb apparition—the Marvel of the Age, finally fully enclosed, therefore draftless—and it doesn’t stop there! Observe—not one but TWO central side doors, the two-piece windshield, the high steel radiator shell—and this, the most astounding of all inventions,” he paused for effect, “electrified headlamps! And now, cast your astounded peepers on this—the pièce de résistance! An OVAL-SHAPED WINDOW IN THE REAR! … Step right up Ladies, climb in—have no fear, experience the thrill! No need for scarves, hats or shawls, warm as toast inside … forget your troubles and take a spin!”
Eager to obey, Jane suddenly remembered, “Oh! No! I forgot the boy!”
“Well, go get him. The more the merrier!”
“Is it safe for a child?”
“Would I be sitting here if it wasn’t? Hurry! I can’t hold this beauty much longer—she’s rarin’ to go!”
Jane sprinted, grabbed Michael, ran back out, clutching child and skirts climbed into the back of the elegant sedan.
“Everyone in? Please note that cranking is no longer necessary! And we’re off! … Coming through Winona, I heard a new poem … !” Ebbely shouted over the noise of the motor. “It’s called ‘The Big Cars Lament,’ I’ll recite as we go!
“I wish I waz a little Ford
A-runnin’ right along;
I wouldn’t need to wheeze and sigh,
I’d sing a different song.”
Beside him, holding on for dear life, Hannah yelled, “Ach! What excitement! Mein Gott! Never have I gone outside witout my hat on! What will de neighbors tink!”
“They’ll be gnashing their teeth bile-green with envy!”
“Ja, dat’s for certain! What a tragedy Missus-Schneider-eight-blocks-over not here no more—can’t see dis—knock her socks off!”
“Knock off more than her socks!” Ebbely giggled, enjoying himself enormously.
“Now don’t you get naughty just because you got yourself a new so swanky Lizzie!”
“Ah! Just a little cuddle? See, I can steer with only one hand, so give me a little squeeze! … You two in the back, cover your eyes! Hannah and I are going to spoon!”
“Well, now we know! All dat fancy-prancy mit dose Louisiana floozies has got you crazy in de head! You take me home dis minute! I get out de castor oil, give you a dose to clean you out good! Never heard of such a ting! Cuddling and spooning mit a proper married lady in a machine dat’s moving!”
A little daunted, eyes lowered, Ebbely peeked at Hannah, saw she was desperately trying not to laugh and, swinging his Lizzie around on a dime, announced that before returning Hannah to her domicile, he was taking Jane and the little prince home, for what he had in mind, chaperones were better not present. Then, in a high falsetto, burst into the latest flivver song, urging his happy passengers to join him. “Henry Ford was a machinist,
“He worked both night and day
To give this world a flivver
That has made her shivver
And speeded her on her way.
Now he is a millionaire,
But his record is fair,
He is humanity’s Friend.”
Everyone came to see Rumpelstiltskin’s splendid sedan—the men asking their questions of how it performed, while the ladies admired the elegance of the oval window and opulent use of glass. Standing apart, Fritz glowered.
Ebbely, knowing why, walked over to him. “I agree, my friend. Shocking—simply shocking!”
“Ja! First it’s leatherette—that was bad enough—now we work cloth? … What’s next!”
“But, Fritz, the cloth upholstery is only used in the closed-in model … or so I heard!”
“Yes …”
“So?”
“Duesenberg doesn’t.”
“Oh, come on … you can’t compare a mighty Duesenberg with a Ford!”
“I know—but there was a time when …” Fritz let the thought hang.
“The rich man’s automobile and … what does your boss call it? ‘The automobile for the common man’?”
“Yes …”
“Well, my friend, as in life, such are separated from each other by a social chasm far too wide to cross.”
“Still …” Fritz looked longingly at the shining sedan, “build up the back trimming, if it was done in black cowhide, with a half-moon needle in French pleat … would look marvelous.”
“Don’t make me wish for it! Cloth it is and even for seven hundred and forty dollars, cloth it will have to be. Don’t lose sight of the fact that, for every Duesenberg sold, Ford sells a thousand Ts. Just remember and be grateful that there are more common men in this world than millionaires.”
“Ja, we make lots of money, give everybody ‘The Universal Car.’ But, I miss the old days when with our hands we worked, could make beautiful things.”
“Never mind, Fritz.” Ebbely pulled his sleeve, called to the others. “Stop fawning over my new sweetheart! Hannah is waiting … let’s eat!”
Carl helped himself to more pot roast.
“You vant de gravy?”
“No, thanks, Hannah. I still got plenty. Sorry about Rosie not coming, but with the twins, it’s not easy. I see Rudy and Frederika aren’t here and Henrietta either—anything wrong, Johann?”
“No, no. Frederika wasn’t feeling well, so Henrietta thought she better stay—just in case.”
“Isn’t she about due?”
“Still another six weeks, Carl,” Jane answered him.
Ebbely giggled. Carl turned to him. “What’s so funny?”
“You—the new father! Suddenly so aware of a lady’s due date! I can remember a time when if something hadn’t anything to do with your precious magneto, it just didn’t exist! How the mighty have fallen! Ahh, the abyss of normalcy!”
Carl laughed, “Right you are! Ah, the good old days!”
Ebbely stopped eating. “You too? Fritz was just saying the same thing. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, maybe it’s just like one of Fritz’s feelings.”
“My God. I hope not!” Zoltan reached for the beer pitcher. “I can’t take any more trouble. My mother is driving me crazy. She refuses to learn a word of English, says she doesn’t have to because she’s going back to Bulgaria. I try to explain that she can’t because there is a war raging—but does that make an impression? No! She’s going and that’s that! Yesterday, I came home and found her sitting on her trunk by the front door, ready, waiting for me to take her to catch a ship. Couldn’t understand why I didn’t take her. The way the war is going, there may not even be a Bulgaria when it’s all over. You know, I am beginning to think I should have gotten married like all of you instead.” Zoltan sneezed into his napkin.
Hannah came in, bearing a huge bowl of coleslaw. Ebbely clapped his hands, delighted.
“John,” Johann helped himself to the slaw. “Have you heard anything from Jimmy?”
“No, not since that first letter.”
“I hear that the Red Cross organization is going to help with mail from the front.”
“Anyone see that item in the Ford Times?”