“I’m ready,” she said even as she was taking off her coat and tossing it on the couch behind her. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready.”
She pulled off her gloves and stuffed them into the purse she had slung over her shoulder, and that too got tossed on the couch. He took her in from top to bottom and again was struck by how different she was from any woman he’d ever been with. Becky had been as simple and basic as a woman could be. Never cared about clothes or makeup. Never changed her hairstyle or color, and he’d never cared.
When he hooked up with a woman, the first time after Becky had died, he’d told himself to find the opposite. Something that wouldn’t have him thinking about his dead wife the whole time. That woman—hell, he didn’t even remember her name—had been over-the-top done up. Short skirt, lots of cleavage, big hair. They had gone to a hotel and for the first time he’d felt fake tits. It had been off-putting, actually.
John had no worries about that with Kate. There was nothing fake about her. Not the diamonds in her ears or on her fingers. Not the faint hint of lilac which he thought must be her shampoo. She was the real deal in every way.
She stepped closer to him, and when he looked down he saw her hands.
“You’re shaking.”
“Cold,” she replied.
Except when he took them in his own hands, they weren’t even a little cold. Of course they wouldn’t be, because her gloves would be of the finest quality. He lifted them to his lips and blew on them again.
“Then let’s see about getting you warm.”
He tugged her along behind him and made his way to the single bedroom. Again he wasn’t concerned about what she would find. He kept his dirty clothes in a hamper in the closet. He kept his bath towels hung neatly in the bathroom on towel racks. There was a book and some reading glasses on his nightstand, his addiction to reading having stayed with him after he was released from prison.
His bed was neatly made, because Becky had always made the bed and he saw no reason to change that.
“John… you should know it’s been a while for me. I mean actual sex. What we did before—that was all… fantasy. This… this is reality. I don’t know if I am the same person who said all those things on the phone.”
John had already suspected as much. “Is that why you’re so nervous?”
She huffed out a little breath like she was embarrassed for being called out. “I guess it’s obvious.”
“I’m the man you’re about to sleep with. I’m paying pretty close attention to everything you’re doing right now. Let’s find out what person you are. What can I do to make you not nervous?”
“The kissing helps.”
“Then let’s do more of that.”
He lifted his hands to cup her cheeks—they were still cold actually—and he tilted her head so that their mouths fit perfectly. She trembled delicately for a second, but then his tongue was twirling with hers and she was doing everything she could to get closer to him.
He thought back to Christmas night and the things he’d written to her, the things she’d responded to. It was interesting that this would be the first time doing this with her, but he already had some advance knowledge.
One thing was for certain, Kate preferred that he be in charge. That, he thought, would make her less nervous. She would know it was his role to lead and hers to follow, and she wouldn’t have to do any of the thinking.
John pulled back and looked at her. Her eyes were closed and he could take in every detail. The freckles over her nose, the way her nose turned up at the end. He knew she was forty-three from the app, but right now she didn’t look more than eighteen years old to him.
“Look at me, Kate.”
Slowly, almost reluctantly her eyes opened. “We’re going to do this my way, okay? I tell you what to do and you’re going to do it.”
He could see her pupils dilate and knew he’d read her correctly. She wanted to give herself over to him, and the thought of having a woman like Kate, his to command, was making his dick so hard he thought it would break the zipper of his jeans.
“Do you trust me?”
Hesitantly, she nodded.
“I want you to take off your clothes and get on the bed now.”
He knew what he wanted, and he walked over to his closet and opened the door. Over his shoulder he saw that she was still standing motionless.
“Kate. Now. Start unbuttoning your blouse.”
The specific task seemed to work. As if previously she had no idea how to start getting naked. He watched her as she carefully undid the cuffs at her wrists, and then worked from bottom up to undo the buttons. He liked that he knew that about her. That she unbuttoned bottom up instead of top down.
He reached in and immediately found what he was looking for. John only owned one suit for weddings and funerals, which meant he owned exactly one tie. It was blue and gray and good quality, because if you’re only buying one it should be a nice one.