Sloan had dated Austin for an intense five months early in her junior year at Climping Academy. Initially her sense of self-worth was bolstered by his attention. He was a jock and a straight-A student. He’d spent two years at a prep school back East and part of his personal style was the dress shirt, tie, and sport coat he wore every day. He held himself aloof, which lent him an irresistible air of command. His classmates looked up to him and he used that to his advantage. He seemed to observe them from a distance, awarding praise if others pleased him, expressing his disdain if they fell short. He used sarcasm and disparagement as whips, operating with such authority that kids couldn’t help but play up to him, seeking his approval, hoping to avoid reproach.
Sloan had kept her distance from him, knowing she was vulnerable to attack. She was nearly six feet tall and self-conscious about her height. She’d towered over her classmates since the sixth grade, which is when the girls seemed to mature as if by magic, leaving boys behind. Sloan was also exposed because of her questionable parentage. Not only was her mother an alcoholic, but her birth father’s identity was a blur. In a community like Horton Ravine, despite liberal sentiment, she felt like marked goods. That she was statuesque only made her more conspicuous. Her friend Poppy was a people pleaser, petite, blond, and soft-spoken, traits Sloan admired but couldn’t emulate. She was boisterous, acting out her social discomfort with a braying laugh. She wore no makeup and had no gift for fashion. She liked sweats and running shoes. Most Sundays, she went to church, and for the past two summers, she’d worked as a counselor at the church-run camp for grades six through nine. She was aware that behind her back, some referred to her as Miss Goody-Two-Shoes.
One Friday in October, at the end of the school day, Sloan stood at her locker loading the books she’d need for the weekend. She looked up and caught sight of Austin leaning against the wall with his gaze fixed on her.
“You need help?” he asked.
“I’m fine. What about you?”
He smiled. “I’m fine, too. Thanks for asking.”
His eyes were an odd green and he wore a dress shirt the same shade, his tie a tone darker. Even ten feet away, she was aware of his aftershave, which had a fresh, clean scent. She couldn’t imagine why he’d initiated conversation with her.
“Did you want something?” she asked.
“You interest me.”
“I do?”
“You don’t think you’re interesting?”
She laughed uncomfortably. “No.”
“What’s been happening between you and Poppy? I thought you were best friends.”
Sloan wasn’t sure what to make of the shift in subject matter. She didn’t want to think about Poppy, whose company she’d missed the last few weekends while she was studying. “We’re still friends.”
“But not best friends. Not if you’re hanging out on your own all the time.”
“What business is that of yours? I’ve been trying to keep my grades up. Poppy and I are allowed to do whatever we want.”
“Sure, but it’s weird. You’d think she’d prefer to study with you than just go out with Troy all the time.”
“What’s your point?”
“As it turns out, I like you better without her,” he replied.
“Lucky me.”
“Don’t be flip. I’m trying to say something here if you’d give me a chance.”
She shut her locker door and snapped the combination lock. “You know what? I don’t care. You’re a shit. You’re mean and you’re arrogant and you put people down. I don’t like that.”
“Fair enough. How about I’ll be nice?”
“Oh, right. For how long?”
“As long as you’re nice to me. Does that sound like a deal?”
“But I’m not nice to you. Calling you a shit was rude.”
“But honest.”
“Austin, this conversation is bugging me. What are you up to?”
“Let’s go out. On a date. Just the two of us. We’ll talk.”
She gave him a jaded look. “You know, I’ve seen you in action. This is just your way of setting me up.”
“I’m not setting you up. Why would you say that?”
“You did the same thing to Michelle, and Heather before her.”
“Ohhh, I get it. You’ve been watching me. Keeping tabs. I like that.”
Sloan shook her head in disgust. “You are such an egotist.”
“My best quality,” he said. “Turns out Heather isn’t that bright. Michelle said I insulted her, so she broke up with me.”
“She did not.”
“Yes, she did. You can ask her yourself.”
“Maybe I will.”
“Good. I’ll call you tomorrow after you’ve talked to her. I can tell you what she’ll say. I didn’t call her often enough. We didn’t go anywhere fun. She kept asking if I thought her boobs were too small, which I denied. She couldn’t leave the subject alone, so I finally told her she was right, her tits were minuscule, and she got all pushed out of shape, so to speak.”
“Her boobs aren’t too small. That’s ridiculous.”
“Then you deliver the news. I got bored repeating myself.”
Sloan laughed.
The final bell rang and she and Austin parted company. Later when she asked Michelle about him, Michelle said he didn’t call often enough and all he wanted to do was study when she wanted to go out. She didn’t mention her boobs.
Austin phoned the next day and asked if she wanted to see a movie, which she agreed to do.
As the weeks passed, she realized how different he was one-on-one: soft and warmhearted. He said he liked spending time with her because she was serious. She didn’t put on airs and she didn’t flirt with other guys. Sloan responded with a warmth of her own, amazed by his openness. With everyone else, he was much the same: brittle, standoffish, and harsh. She could see friends eyeing her, wondering why she put up with him. There was also an unspoken curiosity about what he found appealing in her when so many girls had set their caps for him and failed.
At one point, she asked him point-blank, “What’s this about? I don’t get it.”
He smiled. “Are you asking me why I like you?”
“I am. And no bullshit.”
“Let’s see. I’d have to say it’s because you’re unaffected and you’re smart and you’re an all-around good person. And you don’t even realize how beautiful you are.”
She was braced for his usual snide comment, the zinger that undercut any kind word he said. Instead, he took her hand and laid it against his lips.