She grabs the door handle. “No. They can handle things from here.”
Jorge sighs, and it’s easy to see that while Anna may be over him, he’s not over her and it kills him to leave her alone with me. But, he’s an obedient guy and does as he’s asked. “Goodbye, Anna.”
When we’re alone in the room, I clear my throat. “When did you find out about the baby?”
“After my very first show on Tension. I fell, and had to get checked out by the trainer. They drug tested me and gave me a pregnancy test.” She quiet for a moment. “I tried to call and tell you, but you never answered me.”
Things begin to click. Not only was she upset that she thought I was blowing her off, but she was going through some real shit and I wasn’t there for her.
“I’m sorry, Anna, for everything. I handled wrong. I wish I could go back and have a do-over.” She doesn’t even look at me and I know I’ve hurt her bad, but I need to see her eyes so I can tell what she’s thinking. “Anna . . .”
“I’m sorry, Xavier, I can’t—“
Before she has a chance to finish that sentence I drop to my knees by her side. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Please, don’t. Anna, look at me.” She reluctantly shifts her eyes in my direction. “Don’t end this. Don’t end us. I’ll do whatever you want to make you stay with me. I can’t live my life without you, Anna.”
Her lips twist as she stares into my eyes. “Then tell me the truth, Xavier. Tell me everything that you’re hiding from me. Help me understand you and why you keep pushing me away.”
I lock my fingers together on the bed in front of me, and then drop my head onto my arms. Telling her everything, it might change the way she sees me. I don’t want her pity—never wanted that—but if exposing the demons of my past to her is what makes her stay, then she’s about to get an earful.
I raise my head and take a deep breath. “Where do you want me to start?”
“At the beginning,” she whispers. “Talk to me instead of getting angry all the time.”
And so it begins. I launch into my earliest childhood memories of all the good times I spent with my mother, and then how things got really hard when she figured out my father, whoever he was, was never coming back. I tell her about all the drugs, living with Grandmother—the beatings she inflicted on me, and lastly about the times I lived on the streets, doing things for money that made me a monster.
By the end of it, I’m laying next to her on the bed, facing her, pouring my heart out, telling her things I’ve never told anyone else before, and she listens—to everything.
She never makes a move to judge me, she just listens, and it feels good to get all this off my chest.
The last thing I tell her, is the one thing I was trying hard to keep from her. Nothing is held back this time as I tell her about the day Kai took me to see Bishop. “That’s why I was with Angie that day. Bishop threatened to hurt you unless I did as he asked. I’m not getting back into business with him, so the only way I could keep you safe, was to keep you away.”
Anna pushes my hair back off my face. “So that’s why you were trying to break things off with me—to keep me safe?”
“Yes. I knew I had to because the night you went to Larry’s and drank, one of Bishop’s flunkies was the guy next to you trying to pay your bill. They were showing me they can get to you any time they want. I couldn’t handle it if they hurt you. You’re my reason for living. The only problem is, I can’t make it without you.
“When you told me you were pregnant today, I lost it, believing I would drag a kid down and make it a monster like me—believing you were better off without me—both of you.”
She stares into my eyes. “I’m better when I’m with you, and I know our kid will be too. You’re good, Xavier. It’s time you start believing in yourself—see yourself the way I do. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have a family, and I’m willing to give you that chance again, but you can’t check out on me again no matter what happens.”
“I’ll never leave your side again. I will control my temper—that I promise—it’s cost me too much in my life, and I have more to lose now that I ever have.” My hand covers her entire stomach as I cradle my unborn child. “I’ll love both of you with every inch of my soul until my very last breath on this earth. I swear to you from here on out, no more secrets. I’ll tell you everything—nothing gets between us again. I love you, Anna.”
Tears fill her eyes. “And I love you. Forever.”
I crash my lips to hers, while relief floods me and I’ve finally found my heart again.
Chapter 29
Xavier
Walking back into Tension with Anna on my arm feels damn good. For a while I doubted if this would ever happen again, but now after everything we’re stronger than ever.
Freddy lifts his chin when he spots us, knowing this is a big change from the last time he saw us together. “Sup, X?”