I look away, swiping a tissue off the counter and dabbing at my eyes. My hands tremble as they swipe at my face.
“You okay, E?” His words are so soft, so kind, I would think they weren’t real if Lindsay didn’t look at me, waiting on my response.
I nod my head, but of course I’m not all right. I haven’t been in a long time, but why should he start caring now? Because he has an audience? Because Lindsay is standing there watching?
I focus on her, using her as a crutch to keep me level. “I’m going to go,” I whisper, only meaning for Lindsay to hear.
“Don’t,” Ty says quickly from the other side of the room. “I’ll go. Jiggs said—”
Laughter floats inside the room as Jiggs and Cord return. Jiggs stops in his tracks when he realizes what he’s just walked into. He looks from me, to Ty, then to the ceiling.
I shoot him a dagger, knowing exactly what he’s done.
“Jiggs said what?” Cord asks. He grabs a brownie and has it inches from his face when he looks up. Assessing the situation, knowing Ty and I wouldn’t be in the same place at the same time on purpose, he puts the dessert back on the counter. “I can only imagine what Jiggs said to make this happen.”
“Look,” my brother starts, shoving his hands in his pockets, “you’re both here now. Let’s go outside and have a hot dog and a beer.”
“I didn’t know she was going to be here,” Ty says, directly to Jiggs.
I look at Ty, baffled by the way he used a pronoun to refer to me. “What did I ever do to you?” I scream inside my mind. Instead of saying that or throwing the mug of coffee sitting in front of me at his face, I turn to my brother.
“I asked you if he was going to be here. You said no, otherwise, I wouldn’t be.”
Their heads whip to me, reacting to the fury in my voice. My cheeks are hot, half from pure anger at my brother and half from embarrassment. Even though they’re my friends, my family, except for Cord and practically him too, it’s still mortifying. They know he left me, and they must wonder, too, what is so wrong with me that my husband, the man I’ve loved my entire life, walked out and hasn’t bothered to come home.
“Did you lie to me, Jiggs?” I ask, feeling Lindsay’s hand rest on my forearm.
“Look, sis, I didn’t lie to you. I didn’t think he was coming.”
“I can leave,” Ty says, boring a hole into Jiggs’ skull with his stare. “I probably should go, actually.”
His shoulders slump, his navy blue Henley showing off the width of his shoulders and his trim waistline. He turns towards the foyer when Cord speaks up.
“Hey, man. Why don’t you stay?”
Cord takes a step towards me, his sparkling green eyes soft. “That’s an awful big yard out there, don’t you think, Elin? I’m pretty sure we can all enjoy the night and give each other some space. I mean, fuck, remember the night Jiggs got drunk as fuck and puked all over himself? We all avoided him like the plague because he stunk so bad.”
The memory eases the tension in the air just enough for us to chuckle under our breath. I can’t look at my husband, though I know he’s looking at me.
“You’d be all right with that, right, Elin?” Cord asks gently, coaxing words from my lips. “We’re just five friends. Two of y’all are just fighting right now, which, by the way, has gotta stop. Ty is sleeping at my place and he’s messy as fuck.”
My gaze focused on Cord, I start to grin. “I know he is. Good luck with that.”
There’s no denying the relief in my posture at knowing Ty is at Cord’s.
“I can leave, E, if it makes it easier for you,” Ty says, causing me to shiver at the intimacy in his tone.
They all look at me again, the weight of their gazes too much to bear. I grab the plate of brownies off the counter and head to the back door. “I’m taking these outside. Ty can do whatever he wants. He’s been great at avoiding me for weeks now. I’m sure he can manage another couple of hours.”
The door slams behind me.
TY
The fire crackles, sending sparks shooting into the sky. Scents of burnt marshmallows and hot dogs linger in the chilly night air as most of the people I grew up with relax on hay bales and lawn chairs.
The party is a lot tamer than most of the bonfires out here. So many of the guys I grew up with, even some of our dads, worked at the mine and are now unemployed. It’s not just a truck payment we have to cover now; we have families and mortgages and bills.
The lucky ones do, I guess.
Maybe that’s why no one is doing anything that would need the fire department this time. Everyone has too much on their minds—real shit—for mischief. It’s just as well. I don’t even want to be here. I wasn’t even going to stay, just stop by and say hi, until I saw her. Now I can’t leave.