“Swirly?” Dean Hunt asks.
Jenny swallowed. “Like the room was swirling around. It was making me sick. He said, ‘Want to lie down?’ And we did. We stretched out on his bed, and he sort of had his arms around me. He told me to close my eyes, that that would help. But it didn’t. It actually felt worse. Like the room was spinning. I wanted to go back to my dorm, but I didn’t think I could walk there.”
“Did you tell him you wanted to leave?”
“I didn’t say anything. He did all the talking. I thought I’d just lie there until the swirling passed, then walk home. Meanwhile, he was just . . . talking. I can barely remember it all. Stuff about him and his friends. I couldn’t concentrate. I fell asleep.”
Jenny pulls her eyes from the window. She looks straight at the dean.
“I guess that’s ten,” she says quietly.
Dean Hunt is silent. He waits for her to continue.
“When I woke up,” she says, eyes riveted on the window again, “he was inside me. At first I thought I was dreaming. But I couldn’t breathe; there was this pressure on my chest. It was like a dream of drowning, and I was suffocating.”
“Jenny,” Dean Hunt interrupts. Her eyes move to his face. “I’m going to ask you a difficult question. But I have to ask, and you need to be specific. What do you mean ‘he was inside me’?”
Jenny nods. She stares out the window once again. Carrie had warned her Dean Hunt would ask this question and there was only one way to answer it.
“His penis was inside my vagina,” Jenny says. Robotically. As if she were peering into a microscope and describing what she saw at the end of the lens.
Dean Hunt nods, jots. Waits.
“I remember saying, ‘Jordan, no!’ He was hurting me. Pushing inside me so hard, the bed made a sound each time. His head was pressed against my face and his hair was in my mouth.” Jenny grimaces. “I could almost taste him. His shampoo. I feel sick if I smell it on someone else. I tried to push him off. I remember being surprised at how heavy he was.”
Jenny stops talking. The room is loud with her silence. Haley, holding her breath, doesn’t move. It seems to her that neither does Dean Hunt.
“But it was too late,” Jenny finally continues. “Right when I said ‘no’ he made this . . . sound. He was finished. I know because he sort of collapsed. This dead weight on top of me, and I remember thinking, ‘I’m going to die, I can’t breathe.’ But then he rolled off. And just . . . lay there. I could hear him breathing. He said I was sweet, or that was sweet, I don’t know. I remember ‘sweet.’”Jenny’s voice breaks. Her eyes, which have remained dry up to this moment, suddenly fill. Spill over. “How could he say that?” she whispers.
Dean Hunt doesn’t respond. He waits.
“I don’t know how long went by. A few minutes?” Jenny finally continues. “I didn’t move. I think I was in shock. At some point he got up. I do remember that. I have no idea where he went. I remember sitting up.
“I was dressed, but my underwear was around my ankles. I pulled it on, found Marliese’s shoes, and left. I didn’t see him on the way out. Somehow I made it back to our dorm by myself, although I don’t remember that walk. I do remember there was a big party going on in our hall. I remember waking you up.” She directs this last comment at Haley. “That was it. I haven’t spoken to him since. He’s never contacted me. Never tried to find out where I went that night. He was done with me.”
Dean Hunt doesn’t say anything right away. As if he’s waiting to see if Jenny has anything more to add.
Then, after a long silence, Dean Hunt asks, “Did Jordan Bockus have sexual intercourse with you while you were unconscious?”
“Yes.”
“At any point, before he penetrated you, did you indicate that you did not want to have intercourse?”
“I told you, I was passed out!”
“But before you passed out, do you recall saying no, stop, I want to leave, anything like that?”
“I said no when I realized what was happening, but it was too late.”
“Jenny, it is never too late. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. When you said no, did Jordan stop?”
Two bright patches appear on Jenny’s cheeks. “So what are you saying? It’s my fault? If I’d yelled louder he would have said, ‘Oh, sorry! Excuse me!’ and stopped?”
“I’m trying to determine how he responded to what you said.”
“Well, he didn’t.”
“Is it possible that Jordan might have believed you wanted intercourse?”
“Just because I kissed him doesn’t mean I wanted intercourse. Although, for a rapist, I guess passing out is one way to let them know you want sex.”
The venom in Jenny’s reply startles Haley. She’s never heard this tone from her.
Dean Hunt doesn’t back down. “I’m going to assume you’re being sarcastic. Please understand that the purpose of these questions is to ascertain consent, or lack of consent.”