“Yes. She probably would have met you herself, but she promised one of the kids she’d go to their camp awards or something.”
He nodded, thinking how his mom had never missed anything and now did the same for her grandkids. He felt a familiar pang of guilt when he thought of his mom. He knew she missed him and wanted him to come home more often. “You know, it occurred to me later how hard that must have been on you, being the one that made my leaving possible. I doubt Mom appreciated it.”
“She was okay. Surprisingly. I think she saw that you needed to get away even if she hated it.”
God, yes, he’d needed to get away. From the constant worry, the inordinate amount of love and care to the point he’d felt suffocated. Watching his brothers and sister come and go, knowing they were all pitching in to help Mom take care of him, to take some of the load off. Because in the early weeks after the amputation that’s what he’d been, a load. Couldn’t even get to the bathroom by himself. Cast on his left leg, the other one half gone.
Then his friends, the ones who came home from college to visit and then returned to school. His teammates who wouldn’t be teammates anymore. And the ones who were noticeably absent. He didn’t blame them, wasn’t sure he’d have been first in line for visiting hours if the tables were turned. It was hard enough to look at himself. So he’d smiled, said he was fine, said it was all good. Even though his dreams were gone along with a large part of his identity.
Infinitely worse was their compassion when guilt and shame were eating him alive. Stephen had been the one with the means to help him get away.
“I’m not sure I ever thanked you for sending me to Colorado after the accident. It was the right thing. It’s what I needed.”
“I’m glad,” Stephen said. “And you don’t have to thank me. We’re brothers. There was a time I felt some of the same suffocation, but it’s different when you’re the one doing the worrying. After your accident, I started to see the family’s hovering overtures differently.” He smiled at the group making their way around the ring. “Hannah helped me the rest of the way.”
JT nodded, knowing Stephen had suffered through his own hell.
But now he was back. For the first time by choice, and funny, he hadn’t thought about all the reasons he hated coming home. Hadn’t gotten the usual heart-racing panic. Because for the first time in so many years, his mind was completely full of something else.
Someone else.
Chapter 21
Jake arrived at the cabin at six on the dot to escort them up the hill to Hannah and Stephen’s house. Paige sat on the cabin’s top porch step and watched him park and get out. He’d taken his bag to his parents’ house, and from the looks of it he’d taken a shower. His hair was slightly damp, his face fresh-shaven, and her heart dipped into her stomach like it did every time she saw him.
“Hey, Cotton Candy Girl,” Jake greeted Casey where she was gathering acorns and other assorted nature in front of the porch.
Paige stood as he climbed the steps to greet her and then backed her up, not stopping until they were just inside the open door and out of view. And then without a word he took her mouth with a kiss that stole her breath and left her body weak. Her arms wound around his neck and he kissed her again, and then again. Her eyes fluttered open to find him smiling down at her.
He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip. Growled low in his throat. “You can’t look at me like that.”
She could imagine the look he was talking about because she desperately wanted to strip him naked and kiss every inch of him, starting at the bottom and working her way up.
“Mommy! I found something.”
“Okay.” She cleared her throat, finding it hard to speak. “Be right there.”
Jake grinned and smoothed a hand over her hair in a way that always made her gooey inside. “Later.” Then he kissed the top of her head and left her to catch her breath.
Later? Well, that would give her something to think about as she ate dinner across from his family.
“How’s the cabin in the woods?” he asked when she joined them outside a moment later.
“Good,” Casey answered. “Hannah said I could ride horses again tomorrow and I’m going to ride Dusty.”
“Sounds like you’re turning into a real cowgirl. We’ll have to get you some boots.” Jake swept Casey through the air, making her laugh, then put her on his shoulders.
They walked the short distance up the wooded road that was really just a well-worn clearing barely wide enough for a car. “Casey, remember your manners, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I mean it. Don’t stick your fingers in any food and—”
“I know, Mom.”