It had only been two days since Ellie had left and Scarlet had headed off in search of the missing soldiers with Spencer, but for Lucy it had felt like a lifetime. The days had been long, sending off all the remaining patients, and she’d had mixed feelings about saying goodbye to their field hospital. But she’d moved hospitals before and she knew that before long they’d be settled into their new location and busy again with more casualties. If her heart wouldn’t stop thumping away like mad as she fretted about her friends, she’d be fine. So much for not getting attached to anyone! Jack had broken her heart and her friends were gone, and she hated it.
The orderlies had already left with the equipment, so by the time she reached their new location the hospital would be set up again within hours. It was amazing how quickly they could leave one site and be operational in another.
‘Did you hear that we’ll be back wearing our scarlet uniform again?’ Holly asked as she passed, bag in hand.
Lucy lifted her own and followed the other nurse out. ‘I know. It’ll be nice to be in a more fixed hospital,’ she said. ‘Can’t say I’ll miss working under canvas.’
‘Any word on Scarlet and Doctor Black?’ Holly asked.
Lucy shook her head. ‘Nothing as yet. I’m hoping they’ll be meeting us in Brussels, though, at our new hospital, all being well.’
They had a long trip ahead of them, and as she walked to the big covered army lorry with Holly, she wished she had Scarlet with her to chat to on the journey. The other nurses were all nice enough, but it was Scarlet whom she felt closest to. They were heading further from the front, which was in itself reassuring, and there had been murmurs of better living conditions, which she’d believe when she saw them with her own eyes.
‘Come on, ladies, let’s get a move on,’ a soldier called out.
Lucy climbed up when it was her turn, gratefully taking the arm of an officer who was standing to help the nurses up into the truck. She settled in, knowing her bottom would be numb within the hour, and they’d be travelling for the better part of the day, hopefully arriving before nightfall, but perhaps not.
‘Do you think we’ll be home before Christmas?’ Holly asked, her question taking Lucy by surprise.
‘Honestly? I don’t know,’ Lucy said, as another nurse sat down beside her. ‘Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever be going home. When’s it all going to end?’
‘Oh, don’t talk like that. I need to believe I’ll be home in time for my mother’s Christmas cooking,’ Holly scolded.
As the truck rumbled to life, juddering and jolting as they started off on their journey, Lucy shut her eyes and remembered what home was like. Her father’s kind embrace, awkward but welcoming; her mother standing at the door, listening to her fail terribly at playing the piano, which always exasperated her mother and made Lucy giggle; the room she’d shared with her sister growing up, even though they could have had their own spaces had they wished. Her books, crammed into every inch of her bedroom shelves, her saviours when she felt like no one understood her.
Home was a memory she had to grasp hold of tight. Because if she didn’t, she was afraid it might disappear from her mind for ever, and she needed to remember what she’d left behind.
‘Did you hear there’s no rationing in Brussels?’ another nurse said excitedly. ‘I’ve heard there’s fresh vegetables, fruit and even champagne to drink there.’
‘Champagne would be heavenly,’ Holly chimed in. ‘Can you honestly imagine how good it will taste after all that hideous Compo tea we’ve been drinking?’
‘We’re staying in an old coat-hanger factory,’ another nurse said. ‘I know it’s true because I heard Matron talking and confirming all the details. We’re actually going to be inside, two to a room. Imagine it!’
Lucy wasn’t going to get her hopes up in case Brussels was even worse than everywhere else she had been. They might be safer there, but she wasn’t going to start setting her heart on anything other than being thankful they were all still alive.
A nurse with a lovely voice started to sing then, a song that Lucy didn’t recognise. Her voice carried through the lorry, and a few others joined in. Lucy was content listening as more women started to sing along, too. Then they started another song, one she knew straight away, and she opened her mouth to sing, but found the words wouldn’t come out. Tears prickled her eyes, but she fought them, not about to let a little song make her get all silly and emotional.
Her mother had sung it, softly under her breath as she’d worked in the kitchen, and when Lucy closed her eyes she was back there, watching her mother and listening closely to hear her sing. They’d had help at home, but her mother took pride in everything that went on their table, and she’d always been in that kitchen cooking. Perhaps it was her mother’s way of expressing herself; she’d been so guarded of her emotions, so strong and proper, but cooking was what she’d loved, and it was also the only time Lucy ever heard her mother sing. She forced herself to join in the second verse of April Showers, not content with listening without singing, too.
There was so much she missed, memories she refused to let close to the surface. Lucy wasn’t sure what she was afraid of; maybe it was simply the fact that thinking of the past might make it too hard to put one foot in front of the other each day and keep going. When she’d left home, she’d thought her parents didn’t care, that they hadn’t shown her the love she’d craved and the support for her dreams that she’d needed. But in hindsight, maybe it had taken leaving to make her see what she’d missed.
But it didn’t mean she didn’t pray every single night for this war to be over. She wanted to go home, too. She wanted to laugh with friends and eat decent food. She wanted to make more memories with her family, to kiss her father’s warm cheek and throw her arms around her mother. She wanted to talk to her sister and laugh about what it would be like one day to have their own children. She wanted to see her friends.
Lucy brushed tears from her cheeks as they dripped silently, wetting her skin and falling down to her mouth. Most of all, she wanted to believe that she’d see Jack again one day, too, even though she knew it was a silly dream to have. There was no way her American soldier would ever come looking for her. He was gone, a beautiful memory from her time nursing, and nothing more. He had his own life to remember and get back to. One day she’d forget about him, but with all the other awful things happening around her, for now she was going to hold him close and let herself dream of what could have been.
‘Help!’