She reached for Scarlet’s hand when she saw her blink away tears. ‘Please don’t cry! I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘No, it’s fine. I just . . .’ Scarlet’s voice trailed off. ‘I think of that night so often – the way he kissed me when it was dark, when no one could see. Our teeth kind of bumped and his moustache was bristly against my lips, but it was amazing. I mean . . .’
‘Keep going!’ Ellie begged, whispering. ‘Please!’
‘It was the only time he ever kissed me like that,’ Scarlet whispered back. ‘Every other time was just a peck on the cheek, very formal. But that night was magical, even though we were all terrified down there and cooped up like chickens. I’ll never forget it because he was usually so proper.’
‘And when did he propose? Was it before he was sent away?’
Scarlet nodded. ‘Yes. Just before he left, he asked my father for my hand. He proposed at our house, in the garden, the day before he left. He promised me he’d write, and that we’d be married the day he came home.’ She made a low noise in her throat. ‘We had exactly thirty-two days in London together before he left, and he’s been gone for months now.’
Ellie’s oldest brother had left behind a wife and two little ones, but her middle brother had done the same as Scarlet’s man – proposing right before he left – and she knew how hard it had been for his fiancée. All the waiting, wondering and, she bet, worrying about him not coming home at all and being left a spinster. Her own mother kept saying there was going to be a whole lot of young women and not enough men to go around once the blasted war was finally over.
‘When was your last letter from him?’ she asked gently.
‘Thirteen weeks ago,’ Scarlet replied quietly.
‘Don’t let anyone tell you you’re crazy for searching for him or that you’ll never find him.’ Ellie meant it, with all her heart. ‘If I loved a man like that, I’d be searching for him, too.’
‘You might not be saying that in a few weeks’ time when I’ve driven everyone crazy with my notices pinned everywhere and endless questions,’ Scarlet said, looking glum. ‘Part of me knows it might be futile, but then even if I don’t find him, it won’t be for nothing, will it? At least I’ll be doing good along the way, tending to our soldiers.’
‘Hey, you might be married to the man in a few weeks! Who knows what will happen?’ Ellie said. ‘Does he have a brother for me?’
Scarlet smiled. ‘He does have a brother, a younger one. If my sister hadn’t already been in love she’d have been begging to know more about him.’
‘Good-looking?’
‘I don’t know. I’ve never met him.’ Scarlet paused, her mind turning over her quest to find Thomas. ‘Do you honestly believe I can find him? You’re not just trying to make me feel better?’
‘Honestly. He’s your man, and that means if anyone is going to find him, then it’ll be you.’
The train slowed, the engine noise loud and the sudden movement making Ellie stick her hand out to brace herself against the seat.
‘I think we’re about to arrive,’ Ellie said.
Scarlet looked back at her, eyes wide. They both laughed nervously. Ellie was certain that Scarlet was as unsure as she was because they had no clue what would happen once they arrived, where they would be posted or when they’d ever see home again.
Ellie liked to be positive and make everyone around her smile and laugh, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t wish she could run for home. She hated blood – hated the smell of it – and wasn’t at all good at thinking about gaping wounds and infected skin. Babies were different. It wasn’t pleasant seeing what a birthing woman had to go through, but it was a process she’d known about since she was a little girl. Yes, there was blood because it was part of life, not – she sighed – not death and injuries. That was why she ended up making jokes and playing along as if she was fine about where she was going and what she was going to have to do. In truth, she was shaking in her boots about what she’d kept joking about as her big adventure away from home.
Ellie pushed her thoughts away, not wanting to worry herself even more. As the train continued to slow she clutched her bag tighter, looking down at the worn leather. It had belonged to her grandma, and then her mother, and now it was hers for her travels. Ellie brushed her fingertips across the top, looking at what was possibly the most extravagant thing she owned. They’d been told to take a carryall and she was fortunate to have it at all. Same with her uniform; if her grandmother hadn’t given her most of the money to buy the two skirts, straight tunic, cap, gloves, capes and cotton dresses, not to mention all the other bits and pieces, she’d never have been able to afford it, not with what little they had to go around.
Finally, the brakes made a noise that sent goose pimples across Ellie’s skin – the tiny hairs on her arm all standing alert. The train made a final lurch and she realised she’d been holding her breath.
‘I think we’re here.’
Ellie looked out the window. People were everywhere, in numbers she’d hardly ever seen before. She gulped then straightened her shoulders, forced a smile. Smile and the world will see the woman you want them to see, no matter how you feel inside. Her mother’s words echoed in her mind, calming her, doing what they always did, and had done since she was a small child.
‘Is your stomach twisting into knots?’ Scarlet asked.
‘More like an entire army kicking their boots in there,’ Ellie said, linking her arm through Scarlet’s.
It meant the world to her that she’d met someone to share the journey with, to talk to and make her feel less alone. All her life she’d been surrounded by her family. Until recently they’d all lived together – all of them squished into their little home. It hadn’t taken long for her oldest brother to use his Irish charm and find a nice girl, but it wasn’t until the other two had left to join up that the house had felt empty. She didn’t like to think of how her parents would feel in bed tonight, worrying about all of their children. As much as they’d supported her decision to go, she knew it had likely broken their hearts.
Ellie and Scarlet watched and waited as people got up to leave the train, not bothering to push their way through.
‘Ladies.’
Ellie smiled up at a soldier who was standing back, gesturing with his hand for them to stand and pass.
‘Thank you,’ she said, giggling when he winked.
Scarlet stayed close to her, head bent, as they made their way out and down on to the platform. It was a burst of noise, far louder than at the station where they’d boarded, and there was a cool wind, which made it even nicer to have Scarlet huddled close. Although, her greatcoat was very warm and her legs were equally cosy in their thick woollen stockings, so it was only her face being whipped by the late wind. She wished the spring weather weren’t so cold; it had been cool and windy all month.