‘Do you still believe it’s his wife in that photo?’ Scarlet asked. ‘Or his sweetheart?’
Ellie hoped for Lucy’s sake that it wasn’t, because it was clear that her friend was fond of the man. Lucy was always so focused on the job, acted like nothing could distract her, and then along had come this man with his memory loss and his cute smile.
‘It has to be, doesn’t it? I mean . . .’ Lucy sighed. ‘I don’t know. I like him a lot, but then I think that has something to do with helping to save him. I want to know more and I want to make sure he pulls through. Gets home to his family.’
‘Did you see the other day we had two soldiers we’d patched up and sent off only a week earlier with minor injuries, and they were already back again? Far worse this time; one might not make it.’
A shudder ran through Ellie that had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with the amount of death and injury she’d been witness to in France.
‘How about you, Scarlet?’ Ellie asked, wanting to change the subject. ‘Nothing more on Thomas? Any word about James?’
She saw a strange look pass over Scarlet’s face, wondered what it was that was troubling her. But it was gone as quickly as it had arrived.
‘More talk about some soldiers in a remote area taken in by nuns. I’m trying to figure out exactly how we can get to them.’ Scarlet let out a big sigh. ‘I don’t think I’ll hear anything about James until the day we finally get home. It’s . . .’ Ellie waited for her to finish her sentence, not wanting to interrupt her, wanting to hear what she was going to say. ‘Complicated I guess. I feel as if I have no control over anything and I have absolutely no idea what will happen, but I can’t stop thinking about him.’
‘Surely the army will want to do anything they can to help them?’ Lucy asked. ‘The soldiers that haven’t been found, I mean.’
Scarlet blew out a loud breath. ‘You’d think so. But if the nuns have them and they’re being kept safe from further injury, maybe they won’t be a priority until the war is over.’
Ellie hung on to that thought every day: that the war would one day be over. She didn’t know how much more of it she could take. The infections, the blood, the amputations and the deaths. It was so hard to face, day after day, knowing there was only so much they could do. She sucked in a breath, wrestled with her thoughts until she could push them away and focus on being out in the fresh air, away from the hospital with her friends.
‘What are you thinking about?’ Scarlet asked, interrupting the conversation Ellie was having in her own head about what she was and wasn’t allowed to think about.
‘I’m trying not to think too much about anything,’ Ellie confessed. ‘Everything makes me feel so down, so I try to think about home. What it will be like to be back, what I’ll eat, hugging my mother. All of those nice things instead of the ugly thoughts. That’s what Lucy told me to do, and it helps.’
Lucy smiled, pleased her advice had done something to help Ellie.
‘How about thinking about Spencer, and how nice a little alone time with him would be,’ Scarlet teased.
‘Oh, I wish!’ That would definitely take her mind off war. She couldn’t help but wish she’d met Spencer at home, without war, so they could simply do normal things. ‘He keeps telling me that one day we’ll have time together, but with all the patients, with everything that keeps happening, I don’t think it will ever happen.’ She knew how stupid her own wishes were, given what they were living through, but she couldn’t help how she felt. ‘He’s so nice, so . . . I don’t know. In a way he reminds me of my father, even though they’re from such different backgrounds. But the way he looks at me, it’s the way my dad has always looked at my mother. Kind, steady, protective, I guess.’
She frowned at the grin spreading across Scarlet’s face, annoyed at the way she and Lucy were glancing at each other, as if they were in on a secret.
‘Why are you two looking like that?’ Ellie demanded, narrowing her eyes as she stared back at them.
Scarlet moved closer, nudged her in the side. ‘He’s having the afternoon off. We promised to meet him somewhere with you, and he wanted it to be a surprise.’
‘If we can’t have a little wartime romance, then we’re making darn sure you can,’ Lucy added.
‘What?’ Ellie’s heart was racing, fluttering away in her chest, and for once it wasn’t induced by gunshots or the fear of war echoing too close for comfort.
Lucy was grinning back at her. ‘He’s so sweet. The poor man wanted to do something nice for you, as a surprise, and even though we were sworn to secrecy Scarlet said you’d hate not knowing.’
Scarlet had definitely got that part right. She hated surprises. Although now that she knew what was about to happen . . . She gulped, finding it hard to breathe all of a sudden.
‘You’re not kidding, are you? Please tell me you’re not having me on,’ she said.
‘Ellie, it’s not the type of thing I’d joke about, I promise,’ Scarlet said. ‘Although it is kind of amusing being the one to tease you. When we first met, that was your role.’ She laughed. ‘Seems I learnt from the best.’
Ellie smiled back at Scarlet. It felt like a long, long time ago, that first time they’d met at the railway station. Another lifetime even. So much had changed, she didn’t even feel like the same person any longer; that fun, always-happy, energetic girl had slowly disappeared. When she was with Spencer, a spark of her real self seemed to emerge, but it was a struggle putting on a brave face. For the first time in her life, smiles didn’t come as easily.
‘I’ve never actually been alone with him,’ she confessed. ‘I mean, we’ve been alone, but there’s always been someone close by or someone listening or . . .’ Her voice trailed off.
‘You’re nervous,’ Lucy said matter-of-factly. ‘It’s perfectly normal.’
‘I’m not nervous,’ Ellie insisted. Was she nervous? She’d never been nervous around him before, but the way her stomach was flipping and her pulse was racing, she was worried she was about to collapse.
‘Look, the man wants to spend time with you. Simple as that,’ Scarlet said, her smile so kind that Ellie’s nerves started to settle.
‘I want to spend time with him,’ she said, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. ‘But the way I’ve been feeling lately, the trauma of it all, I don’t know.’ She didn’t even know how to express what she had been going through in her mind. ‘I’ve started to wonder if he feels sorry for me, after everything that’s happened. If he doesn’t actually like me that way any longer.’
Scarlet and Lucy both made a type of sighing noise, instantly shuffling closer to her as if by doing so they could protect her.
‘Sweetheart, anyone can see what he feels for you, and it’s not pity.’