“I thought it would be easier,” he began, talking to the table. “Easier … not to see you. You look just like her,” he choked out, gazing lovingly at her thick strawberry-blond hair and intelligent brown eyes. “You remind me so much of your mother.”
Sophie took in his words, listening and evaluating, unsure how to react.
He went on. “But when you came here last night, looking so heartbroken, so troubled … I realized how wrong I’ve been. I need you here, Sophie. I shouldn’t be pushing you away. I should be reaching out to you. I’m sorry, so sorry I haven’t been there for you.”
She was dumbfounded. “When you avoided me at the funeral—that’s because I reminded you of Mom?”
“Yes.”
“I thought …” Her voice trailed off, and she didn’t know if she should finish her sentence, though her father looked at her expectantly. “I thought you blamed me for Mom’s heart attack.”
His eyes widened with horror. “God, no! How could you think such a thing?” He ran his hands through his hair, anguished. “No wonder you didn’t come here. No wonder you didn’t call.” He exhaled forcefully. “I’m a horrible father.”
“No, you’re not,” she said. “I’m the one who got arrested and sent to prison. I’m the horrible one.”
“You’re not horrible,” Will corrected. “You just got involved in the wrong profession.”
“Oh, God, not this again.”
“If you had joined my business, if you had agreed to work with me, this never would have happened, Sophie. I never would have let some mobster ingratiate himself with you like that.”
“Dad!”
“But obviously I was not persuasive enough to make you follow the right path. Like I said, I’m a horrible father.”
“No, you’re not,” Sophie argued again, but as she heard the words, she was infuriated. He was making this all about him. What about her? Why the hell was she taking care of his emotions instead of her own?
He rebutted, “Yes, I—”
“This is bullshit!” she yelled, causing Will to pause midsentence. She rushed ahead. “You weren’t persuasive enough? You kicked me out of the damn house! You stopped paying for my college. Now I have major student loans hanging over my head, thanks to your persuasion for me to major in accounting instead of psychology.”
He looked astonished, but Sophie could not stop her wounded diatribe. “I was so hurt when you cut me off like that! I was so scared of being all on my own. And then, when you didn’t visit me in prison … when you looked at me that way at Mom’s funeral …”
She felt herself shaking, her cheeks flushed with the release of pent-up emotion. She turned her furious eyes on him.
“Do you know how awful it was in prison? Do you know how scared I was? How hard it was to go a whole year without talking to you once? Did you think about me at all that entire year?”
She finally paused long enough for Will to get a word in.
“I worried about you every day in there. Your mother was sick with fear—”
“She’s not here anymore, Dad!” Sophie exploded. “She’s not here to be a buffer between us. I need a father in my life, okay? I need you. I keep making really bad decisions, and I need your advice, okay? I’m sick of choosing men who hurt me! I’m sick of you never being there for me!”
Suddenly tired, Sophie found her father cautiously studying her. She withdrew, preparing for him to yell back at her for her disrespect and unladylike behavior.
Instead, Will continued staring with a curious look that bordered on admiration. “You’ve never talked to me like that before.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “I deserved that.”
Sophie stared. He reached across the table and grasped her slender hand in his.
“Thank you for giving me another chance.”
“You’re not mad?”
“I wish I was. Pastor Tom told me anger was a healthy part of grief, but I can’t seem to get angry, no matter how hard I try.” He sighed. “But I wouldn’t be mad about you telling it to me straight up like that. Contractors go off on me all the time, and I don’t mind. It’s just business. I’d rather people be honest so we can solve the problem. If I’d known you could be so direct, I’d have been even more eager to hire you.”
“Dad,” she warned.
He chuckled. “Relax, I won’t incite your wrath again on the subject. I know you’re a psychologist. Um, I mean, uh, you were a psychologist.” An awkward moment passed between them and he asked, “Have you gotten yourself a job?”
“Yes, I just got a new job, but before that I was working on a ship—oh, shoot, what time is it?”
“A little before ten.”
“Oh, no, I’ve got to get there soon to talk to my boss …” She swallowed hard, silently finishing her sentence, before Grant gets there. “I have to quit.”
You know my brother?
“You’re not giving notice?” Will asked.
“What?”
“You’re not giving two weeks’ notice before you quit? That’s not a wise idea, Sophie.”
“Dad, I can’t! I have to quit today. I have no choice.” I can’t work with a man who lies.
Seeing the fear on her face, Will demanded, “What’s wrong? Why do you have to quit today?”
She bit her lip, feeling too overwhelmed to confess she had fallen in love with Logan Barberi’s brother. “It’s complicated,” she said.
“Sophie? Are you in trouble?”
“No, Dad. Well, I won’t be in trouble once I quit this job.” You know my brother? Her chest tightened. She knew it was over with Grant. She just wished it didn’t have to hurt so much. “It’s complicated,” she repeated. “I may not have made the wisest choice when it came to my last boyfriend.”
“Shocker.”
Momentarily stunned, she could not stop her smile. “You’re never going to let Derek Bowden go, are you, Dad?”
“Sophie, Sophie, Sophie. You and your bad boys.” Will shook his head disapprovingly.
“Don’t worry. I’m swearing off men for the rest of my life.” She was determined to lock up her heart. She simply could not get hurt again.
Will stroked his chin. “Don’t call it quits on men yet, or else some lucky guy will miss getting to call you his wife one day.” He looked wistful. “I sure am lucky your mother married me.”
“But, Dad, you and Mom argued all the time.”
“I know, I know. I guess—you know what they say, ‘You only realize what you’ve got when it’s gone.’ I didn’t truly appreciate your mother until too late.” Sophie was shocked when her father’s voice thickened with emotion. Without excusing himself, he quickly left the kitchen.
She stared after him. You only realize what you’ve got when it’s gone. But she’d known very well what she had with Grant. She had appreciated what they shared for one glorious month. Even though he’d hurt her irrevocably, she didn’t know if she’d be able to make it without her McSailor.