But then another flashing memory popped into my head. I’d been squeezing my eyes closed as I gasped for breath and pounded hard and without finesse into a woman. I’d been thinking about Zoey, though.
My gaze sprang guiltily to Cora. I’d been thinking about her roommate while I’d been inside her. That had to be the absolute worst thing I’d ever done. I wanted to apologize and beg her forgiveness, but no way did I want to actually confess to her what I’d done...or why I hadn’t been able to “get enough of her” last night.
Oh God. I think I needed to throw up.
“You were, like, the man I always knew you could be.” Cora rolled off me to curl against my side. Gazing lovingly at me, she kept running her hand up and down my chest.
I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t tell her. There was no point. It’d only hurt her, and I couldn’t take it back now. Wishing I could do something—anything—to make it up to Cora, I rolled toward her and nuzzled my nose into her neck, breathing in her scent and silently apologizing for picturing someone else while I should’ve been concentrating on nothing but her. She purred at my apologetic cuddling and clutched handfuls of my hair.
“So I’ve been thinking,” she murmured.
I rolled her onto her back and moved above her to trail the tip of my nose down the slope of her breast. This morning, I swore, I would have nothing but Cora on my mind, nothing but Cora in my heart. Whatever she wanted, I’d make sure she got it. “What’ve you been thinking?”
“You know the way Noel proposed to Aspen... It was kind of in public, and yet is was behind that bar and hidden behind all the girls sitting up there so no one else but our group could really see what was happening?”
“Yeah?” I said between batting my tongue against her nipple.
She arched under me and began to breathe hard as she petted my hair, encouraging me to continue.
“Okay, well, I was thinking, I’d want something even more public than that. I’d want everyone to see and know how much you loved and adored me.”
I deserted her nipple and lifted my face to stare into her eyes.
But had she just said...?
She grinned up at me and cupped my face. “As much as I want you again, baby, I don’t have time for another round this morning. I have to be out of here within the hour.”
I frowned. After what she’d just said to me, I was kind of hoping she’d want to spend the entire day together. I didn’t have class, practice, a game, or work...which was rare for me. I was ready to give her everything, especially after she’d just suggested that she wanted to marry me.
“Where do you have to go?” I asked, bewildered.
“Rachel demanded we go shopping.” She popped out of bed, but I just sat there, stumped, as I watched her slip on her underwear.
Then I sat up, running my hand through my hair, wondering how shopping with Rachel could be more important than me...after she’d just had the best night of her life with me and was mentioning proposals.
But she’d given me plenty to think about as she scooted me out the door ten minutes later. Marriage and proposals skipped through my brain.
Even as I thought about all that, I glanced around the apartment before leaving, hoping I’d catch a glimpse of Zoey. I wanted to ask how her night had gone and if her head was killing her as much as mine was killing me. But she was nowhere in sight. So I left without getting to talk to her.
I hid out in my bedroom for the rest of the weekend. After listening to Cora moaning Quinn’s name Saturday morning when I woke, I curled into a ball and cried.
My head was pounding, my mouth was beyond dry, and I needed to pee. But I refused to venture from my room until I’d heard both Quinn and Cora leave.
Once I was alone, I tried watching a little Psych on Netflix. But it reminded me too much of Quinn. When Shawn and Jules finally had their first kiss on the show, I started bawling all over again.
So, I did some homework to distract myself, but biology was what I needed to work on the most. Remembering when he’d helped me study, I, yep...cried even more.
I couldn’t believe I’d almost kissed him. I couldn’t believe he’d turned around and spent the entire rest of night and into the next morning with Cora. I couldn’t believe...well, there was a lot I couldn’t believe, and it was giving me a headache.
When Monday rolled around, I considered skipping art class. What if I burst into tears the moment he walked in?
I knew I couldn’t hide from this forever, though, so I attended. I even arrived early so I could already be in my chair and prepared before I saw him. Except Caroline was chewing on her bottom lip and anxiously waiting for me outside the building.
She leapt forward and grabbed my arm, making me jump. “So how was Saturday night?”
I groaned and closed my eyes, covering my face with both my hands. “I almost kissed him,” I admitted, needing to confess it to someone.
“What?” Caroline gasped. “You...oh my God. I can’t...” She sounded like she was going to start crying, so I dropped my hands and opened my eyes.