Wish You Were Here

I unpacked my bags in a daze, took a shower, sat on my bed, and opened the envelope. Then I began to read the letter:

Charlotte, Thank you for everything. You are now the (I hope proud) owner of a forty-one-foot Alerion sailing vessel, sitting pretty in slip 23 at the Marina Del Rey Harbor. Take good care of her. I know you will. I’ve also included a check because I lied to you for your own good. Sorry. I want you to spend some of this dumb money. I donated a whole bunch to charity, so please, honor me and use this to get yourself set up in life. Well, I am, in fact, in heaven now. It’s amazing. I wish you were here, but don’t try skipping any steps, like putting yourself in danger. It doesn’t work that way. I’ll make you a deal . . . I’ll save you a spot on this puffy cloud, for when it’s your time, okay? I love you. You were truly my heaven on earth, even if my stint was a bit short. Please keep your promises to me. You know what I’m talking about. Oh, and one last thing, I had the mural changed, the one of the winged man. Honestly, Charlotte, you cannot stay in that godforsaken apartment forever. ;) All my love, Adam.

I was crying and laughing at the same time when I pulled the cashier’s check out and saw that it was written for exactly one million dollars. His last million, which I didn’t even believe he had. It was signed by Adam Bramwell, and in the comments it said, It’s not a penny. I held my hand to my heart for several moments until I could catch my breath. When I was calm enough to stand, I stuck the check back into the envelope and threw it on my desk. I walked out of my apartment like a zombie and headed for the winged man. When I got to the corner I saw it. The mural Adam had painted of the winged man was gone, and in its place, just crystal-blue water and the tiny speck of a sailboat. He knew all along.





26. Acceptance


I’m not sure how many hours or days had gone by before I looked up at a crowd of people standing around my bed. There was Helen, Chucky, Mom, Dad, and Jack from the restaurant, which was bizarre.

Helen spoke first. “Hey you.” She smiled kindly.

Someone had opened the blinds. I was squinting up at them through the bright light flooding the room.

“Hi.”

I noticed they were all wearing the same sympathetic smile. Chucky said, “I got you Cap’n Crunch, if you want a bowl?”

“Why are you all here?”

“You’ve been asleep for two days, Charlotte. You haven’t even peed,” Helen said.

I looked at my mom, whose head was cocked to the side.

“I had jet lag,” I explained.

My dad leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You need a shower, kid.”

Jack smiled wide. “Hi, Charlotte. The restaurant will still have you back if you need to get your mind off things and make some money.”

“Thank you, Jack, but I don’t need to work and I think I want a dog,” I said, rubbing my eyes.

My mother’s mouth opened into an O shape.

“A shelter dog. Like a medium-sized dog that likes the water. I have a boat now. I think I’m gonna live on my boat with my dog.”

Everyone in the room looked around at each other in a panic.

My mother finally spoke. “Charlotte . . . you’ve been through a lot . . .”

“You don’t like dogs,” Chucky said.

“Oh yeah, and I’m a millionaire now.” The room went quiet again. “Chucky, I do like dogs. I like dogs and cats, and I want a dog, maybe like a Lab type that would like to go sailing with me.”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself,” my dad said.

I sat up against the headboard. “I’m not. I’m doing what I want. I have money and a boat and I’m going to do what I want.” I shrugged.

“It’s just not the right time to be making decisions like this, Charlotte,” my father said, his eyebrows pinched together in pity and distress.

“You guys,” I stressed, “I just spent over a month watching someone who knew he was dying make the most out of the shitty life he was given. I couldn’t live alone for one day before this happened. I didn’t have an identity. I didn’t even know what I liked until I made up a story about it and told Adam, just to make him feel better. I realized I was missing out on all the beauty in this world because I had my head so far up my own ass.”

“Charlotte,” my father chided.

“You know what he did?” I said. “He made it come true. He made everything I want come true, and if you think I’m going to go back to being the fickle, shallow person I was before, you’re wrong. I’m quitting cosmetology school forever. I sucked at doing hair and you know that, Mom.” She looked away, a sign of admission. “Just another thing I was preparing myself to fail at because I didn’t really want to do it to begin with. Every job and man I’ve come across I’ve basically found a way to sabotage. I’ve made excuses, but I’m done with all that now.”

I got up in my sweats and started moving around the room, grabbing things while everyone watched me in shock. In the bathroom, I changed, brushed my hair and teeth, then walked out, past the silent crowd, and reached for a granola bar from the cabinet.

“I’m going down to check on my boat. You’re all welcome to join, but you should probably drive separately because I’m gonna take her out for a test run and make sure everything’s in working order. Or if you feel like sailing, you can come aboard, but I’m the captain, so keep that in mind. You’ll need to refer to me that way and listen to all of my commands. Sailing can be dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

Whispering too loudly, my mother leaned into my father’s ear and asked, “Is she mentally ill?”

My father shook his head. In a normal speaking voice, he said, “Nope.”

“Who’s coming?”

I think Helen looked the most dumbfounded. My mother was concerned, but my father looked proud of me for once in his life. Chucky looked good-humored or perplexed—I couldn’t quite tell which one.

Jack left and Chucky walked to his bedroom but stopped just before going in. He turned back and said, “So do I need to find a new roommate?”

“I have a million dollars, Chucky,” I said, smiling. “I’ll pay half the rent until you’re a real dentist, okay?”

“Thanks, weirdo,” he said, and then shut the door.

It was only Helen and my mom and dad left, staring at me. “You still with Roddy?” I said to Helen.

“Yep.” She was looking at me like I was deranged.

“How’s Seth?”

“Fine,” she said. “Should I call him for you?”

“Nope.” I took a bite of my granola bar and spoke with my mouth full. “Your hair looks good, Mom.” She had gotten it fixed.

She touched the bouncing curls at her shoulders. “Thanks?”

“Dad, how ’bout those Dodgers? Can you believe it? They’re gonna make it all the way.”

He nodded continuously for about three seconds.

“Well, it’s been real. You’re all a joy to be around. I’m heading to the marina. You can follow me if you’d like.”