The candles flickered and the wind picked up outside, but I wasn’t cold. I was warm suddenly, warm like I had a fire burning in me. I held my breath and pictured myself as a cavern, deep and open, a vessel that needed to be filled, just as Mim had taught me.
Nothing happened.
a
n
d
t
h
e
n
My head flipped back. My mouth opened and my eyes shut and my tongue fluttered and the words . . . poured . . .
I thrashed and whispered and shouted and the words poured and poured.
I was Autumn Lind with the kitchen knife, and then I was Martin, screaming and screaming, the blood gushing out, gushing right here in this room, tell my children I love them, tell them, tell them, and then I was Autumn again, choking and shaking as my neck snapped in the noose . . .
I thrashed and screamed and then the words . . .
s
t
o
p
p
e
d.
I brought my head upright again, opened my eyes, relaxed my shoulders. Midnight and the Yellows were shaking and I could feel their fear in the air, crackling like static during a thunderstorm.
And right on cue, it started raining outside, like I’d commanded it, like I’d called it down from the night sky, the rain tore at the broken window and splashed inside and hit me on the cheek and I was the Queen now, bow down before me, this is how it was meant to be, this was how it was supposed to be, all of them watching and waiting on my every word, breaths held . . .
I yanked my hands free from Midnight and Thomas, one swift move, and got to my feet.
“God, you’re all such losers,” I said, first thing out of my mouth, and they all just stared and stared, as if I hadn’t called each of them a loser countless times in the past, hundreds, thousands, millions.
I looked down at myself, touched my hair, stroked my bony knees with my palms. “Can you believe this shit? Feral Bell. Beggars can’t be choosers, I guess.”
They stared and stared and I just let them, let them take me in.
“Poppy . . . Poppy, where are you? Are you okay? What happened to you?” Squeaking, pathetic little voices.
“I’m dead,” I whispered. And then laughed. “Dead. I’m dead and this house is my tomb and I want you to burn it down. I want you to burn the Roman Luck house to the ground.”
The rain pelted in and the lightning ran slick across the stars and I stood there with my hands on my hips and all of them watching my every move, frozen with fear, their pitiful faces stretched and open and so, so terrified.
They asked me questions, so many questions, who did this and who did that and what about the letters and what about the clues and oh, they were so sorry, so very sorry . . . and it bored me to tears, so finally I put my hands on Thomas’s shoulders and straddled him, one skinny leg nestling up to each hip, knees squeezing in. I kissed him, I kissed him deep, I writhed my body and swung my hair and he kissed me back, I wasn’t sure he would, but oh yes he did, he pulled his other hand free and put both on me while they all just stared, and then I whispered in his ear, Remember the night we did it in the rain, in the wet grass by the Blue Twist? The cold drops hit our bare skin and we shivered like ghosts and were slippery like eels . . . I never told anyone, did you?
And Thomas shook his head and then I got up and went around the circle, I whispered in all their ears, I whispered all their secrets, and they watched and stared and I sashayed around them and let my hips flick side to side, let my long spine arch and my hair swing, I was the Queen, I was the villain, I ruled them all. I let their worship wash right over me like a cool rain, like the rain outside, cooling down the sky, and it felt so good I wanted to scream scream scream with joy, keep staring, you fools, keep staring, soak it up, soak it up, soak me up, like rays of sunshine after a storm, there’ll never be anyone like me again, never ever ever ever.
Midnight was last, I went around the circle and saved him for last, I sat in his lap and gripped his hair in my fingers and he looked horrified, beautifully and genuinely horrified and my red hair fell around his cheeks and I pushed my chest into his and whispered in his ear, I’m sorry I teased you about the magic tricks that one time, I felt bad about it afterward, I really did, I’m sorry I teased you about everything, Midnight, all of this, the letters and the séance, all of it was for you, just so I could say I miss you, god, how I miss you, time goes slower where I am, it feels like years since I last crawled into your bed, years and years, I just wanted to see you one last time, Midnight, I needed to say I’m sorry, I—
He pushed me off of him, right off, like I burned, like I was poison.
And my foot hit a candle and the candle hit the blanket and then . . .
Fire.
WINK MADE US all hold hands. I took hers in my right, Buttercup’s in my left.
Jasmine. That was first.
The smells of the Roman Luck house, the smells of dust and rot and woods and mold . . . gone, all gone.
And the air filled with jasmine.
The Yellows smelled it too. Their eyes went wide. I saw it. They knew what it meant. The smell was thick, sickly, and I wanted to cover my nose with my hand but Wink had warned us not to let go.