Wincing internally, Shiloh said softly, “I don’t know, Maud . . . I get scared. It’s silly, really, but it’s real and it’s there, haunting me.”
Maud studied her for a moment. “Maybe this reaction is based on losing your father at such a young age? I know your mama was terribly in love with him. And he got ripped away from her and you saw it. You were so young and children, God love ’em, are so impressionable at that age. It may have wounded you, Shiloh, sent you a message that if you really do love a man, he’ll be ripped away from you, too.”
Feeling bad, Shiloh whispered, “Yes, I think losing my dad suddenly like that really impacted me. I don’t think I’m over it to this day. I loved him so much. And I saw my mother die emotionally after Dad had the heart attack. It was horrible. She cried all the time. I couldn’t comfort her. I couldn’t fix it and she was hurting so badly. . . .”
Reaching over the counter, Maud patted Shiloh’s shoulder. “Nothing can fix a broken heart except love. Love always repairs those fractures we get in our heart.”
“I guess I’m afraid to let love in.” Shiloh gave the rancher a sad look. “And Roan . . . he’s so patient with me. He respects me. He treats me as his equal. I know it’s me. And the past. It’s always the past. . . .”
“Well,” Maud drawled, giving her an amused look, “I can think of a thousand women who would stand in line to find a man like Roan. And here, we’re dragging you kicking and screaming toward him.” She said soothingly, “Sometimes, you just have to jump into the water and have faith you’re gonna swim and not sink.”
Chapter Fourteen
Anton Leath felt smug as he trundled up the red brick walkway to the Wind River Ranch. With fifteen other tourists, he’d patiently stood in line outside the office at nine A.M., paying his money and getting his ticket to drive the wildlife loop road on the property. He stood on the sidewalk dressed in his tourist gear, looking like everyone else. His only concession was he wore a tan floppy hat and his sunglasses.
The morning was chilly and he stuck his hands into his dark green nylon jacket pockets. The nonstop talking around him always irritated him. Why couldn’t people just be quiet? This was wide-open country and pristine. People had to ruin it by constant chattering. He wanted to hear the sounds of nature instead.
He’d seen a large house across the road from the office. It was connected by the same red sidewalk that led in a forked direction to the loop road. As his gaze ranged slowly, Anton wanted to absorb and remember what he saw. On their side of the road, there was a smaller unnamed office beyond the main ranch office.
Anton lifted his chin, stepping a little out of the slow-moving line toward the open office door. He saw a huge three-story red barn. And on the other side of it were square pipe holding pens with wranglers busy with Hereford cattle. It looked like they were vaccinating them but he couldn’t be sure at this distance. He had a small pair of binoculars in his coat pocket and they could make the difference. Anton didn’t want to pull them out and draw attention to himself. He wanted to blend in.
Where was Shiloh Gallagher? He saw her nowhere. Although, there was a small café between the major office area and those big red barns. And it was nine A.M. He itched to get out of line and wander down toward that area. Maybe she was eating in the café? A sense of contained rage ate at his gut. Automatically, his fingers curled into fists deep in the pockets of his jacket.
He saw activity over at the wildlife road entrance. A woman was opening the large wooden gate that would take tourists down to the loop. Anton calmed himself. Once he got inside the small, cramped office to pay his fee, he’d take any brochures the ranch offered. Perhaps there was another way to hang around the ranch without looking out of place after he finished the drive. This morning was a reconnoitering mission as far as he was concerned.
Later, as Anton followed the group of people down to the loop entrance where there were huge areas fenced off to keep cattle in nearby pastures off the wide, smooth road, he saw nothing to indicate that Shiloh was at the ranch. There were many places she could be.
In his pocket were several brochures. Among them, the ranch offered tourists one-, two-, or three-hour horseback rides on trails. There was a major dirt road leading opposite the loop drive and heading out between two huge, flat, grassy pastures. On the map he held, it read “Pine Grove.”
As the group moved slowly to get their entrance ticket, Anton figured it would be a good way to get the layout of the ranch, provided he could prove Gallagher was here. Where the hell was she?