“Please.”
“Go pick out a spot for us?” Roan gestured lazily toward the living room. He wanted Shiloh to decide where he should sit. If he had his way, he’d sit in the corner of the couch, tuck her in beneath his arm, and never let her go. They could sit there and talk all night that way. But he knew he was fooling himself and was accepting of whatever made Shiloh comfortable. There was no way he was going to pressure her. As he poured her a cup of coffee, Roan tried to rein in the joy thrumming through his chest. He liked Shiloh’s spunk. Her feistiness. Almost smiling, Roan knew she’d bring all of that to his bed. She was going to be a fearless lover and his body and heart ached for her.
Sauntering through the living room he saw Shiloh pull an overstuffed chair near one corner of the couch. Handing her the cup, he settled down on the couch, leaning back, his long legs crossed out in front of him, sitting opposite her. Shiloh had initiated that surprising kiss. Roan felt he knew her well enough to know she’d one day boldly walk right into his arms and tell him she wanted to go to bed with him. Such a fearless, beautiful creature. Keeping it all to himself, he settled back, his gaze holding hers.
“Would you tell me about your growing-up years?” she asked, looking at Roan over the cup.
“My dad, Al, was stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, because he was with the Third Special Forces Group headquartered there. That’s where I was born. Shortly afterward, my mother, Grace, went home to our family ranch. I grew up on my grandparents’ ranch and when my dad got to come stateside for a year or more, then we’d move to where he was stationed.”
“You had your grandparents to help you grow up even though your dad was gone?”
“Right.”
“Are they still alive?”
“No.” Roan’s mouth quirked. “I miss the hell out of both of them. They were tough Depression-era stock, believed in work that paid off, didn’t ask for handouts and didn’t see themselves as victims.”
“Do you carry photos of them?” Shiloh wondered. She heard an emotional catch in Roan’s deep voice, saw a softening in his normally hard, glinting eyes.
“Afraid not. My mom has all the family photos at their ranch in Montana. I was in the U.S. Army from eighteen to age thirty-two. And because I was black ops, we never carried anything on us that could identify us or anyone else.”
Shiloh felt sad for Roan. It was clear he was tied strongly to his family. “But you’re out now.”
His mouth moved into a cutting line. “Old habits die hard, Shiloh.”
“I understand.” She held the cup between her hands in her lap. There was such a comfortable feeling between them; as if they were old friends sitting down to catch up on each other’s lives. Shiloh tried not to gaze at Roan’s well-shaped mouth because it sent a skitter of heat and longing through her.
He frowned. “I’m trying to put myself in your place, Shiloh.”
“Oh?”
“Both your parents are gone. I know how much I’ve always relied on my mom and dad. Being able to pick up the cell phone and talk to them. Send an e-mail. And you seem very family-oriented. The loss must be like a hole in your heart that never heals.”
“You’re right,” she murmured, looking down at the coffee in her hands. “The hole in the heart is exactly right.” His observations cut through her and Shiloh felt tears gather at the back of her eyes. She swallowed a couple of times, forcing them away. The expression on Roan’s face made her want to cry, though. That hard mask he wore dissolved. And in its place, she saw a sensitive man who was very aware and in touch with those around him, in so many rich and wonderful ways. Shiloh swore she could feel his invisible embrace around her shoulders as he spoke quietly to her, his tone reflective. She detected sadness in his eyes—for her. It had been such a long, long time since she’d talked about her parents. Her heart twisted with grief.
“I’m sorry, Shiloh. You’re a good person. I think your parents were a powerful support for you. When they got ripped away, it’s tough to suddenly be standing alone and having to always be strong with no support.”
“There’s no one to lean on,” Shiloh agreed softly, closing her eyes, feeling the tears creeping back. Tonight, she did not want to break down and cry. This was the first time Roan had opened up to her and she didn’t want to lose that opportunity with him. Opening her eyes, she said mirthfully, “If I could have had a pair of cosmic crutches for a couple of years after that, it would have helped. At least I got to live with my aunt and uncle. And that was so much better than being put into the state system and sent to a foster home.”