Every muscle in his body was rigid. She could feel the tension around him, how badly he wanted to dump all those feelings into words and share them with her. But he couldn’t. It was heartbreaking to watch him use his internal strength and resolve to shove it all down deep into himself once again. Shay wanted to scream out to him to release it, but she knew it would do no good. Reese had years of experience pushing away his emotions in order to survive. Her heart twisted in anguish.
Leaning forward, she caressed his upper arm, forcing him to look directly into her eyes. “I trust you, Reese. Since you came to the ranch, you’ve been helping me to reach out and trust again. It’s you. You’ve done that for me whether you realized it or not. You don’t see yourself and how you help all of us in different ways. I know that. But you need to be made aware because you think you’re less than us.” She swallowed convulsively. “And you aren’t. You never have been. You need to start seeing the people around you who love and care for you. That’s how to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem. No one says it’s easy, Reese. God knows, I wrestle with it every day myself, but I have made healthy steps forward. And so can you.”
Shay watched her words envelop Reese. He sat up, blinking at her, his mouth softening. When she’d said she trusted him, everything changed in a heartbeat. The shock was followed by hope, as he stared at her with an intensity that stirred her on every level. Shay realized she was getting a peek at the hardened Marine captain who had been in the thick of combat. She knew that look. Knew it well.
And then that hardened warrior mask he wore was replaced with something so beautiful, so heart-opening, that her breath hitched in reaction. Trust. That was the key to Reese, Shay suddenly realized. A key to his climbing out of that hellish world living inside of him. Trust meant something so powerful to this beleaguered warrior that she could use it like a helping hand to pull him out of that dark internal prison he lived in.
Her fingers grew firmer around his biceps and she felt him respond, his muscles tightening beneath her fingertips. “I don’t care if you think you’re half the man you used to be or not. I see a whole man in front of me. Not half of one. What hasn’t changed in you, Reese, is that people trust you. And you don’t let them down . . .”
Chapter Fifteen
Shay tried to quell her nervousness as they walked into her father’s room at the nursing home. To her shock, her father had called her yesterday, four days before the arena roof-raising was to take place. She didn’t know of a time when she’d been busier at the ranch, setting up to receive seventy-five volunteers for the coming weekend to get the roof on the arena, not to mention, get four houses built.
Glancing up at Reese, who walked casually at her side, he carried his briefcase in hand. Some of her anxiety dissolved beneath his quiet demeanor. Neither of them knew why Ray wanted to see them.
She knocked on the door to her father’s room. The midafternoon sun slanted into his room and Shay saw he’d had someone open up his window to allow fresh summer air to circulate. She knew how much her father missed being on the ranch, and being out in the elements.
“There you are,” Ray grouched, waving them in.
“Hi, Father,” Shay said, leaning over the bed and giving him a peck on the cheek. Today, he looked almost happy, and it shocked her. He was sitting on top of his bed and dressed in jeans and a dark blue cowboy shirt. Swallowing her surprise, she eased away as Reese came up and extended his hand to her father.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Crawford.”
“Come in,” Ray said, gripping Reese’s hand with his left hand. “Sit down. Shay. Close the door?”
“Sure,” she said, giving her father a confused look. What was going on? Normally he was angry and growly. Maybe it was because Reese was with her and Ray respected him?
She quietly closed the door and saw that Reese had pulled out two chairs beside her father’s bed. Her heart warmed. Ever since their intense, emotional talk last week, things had quieted down between them. Shay knew what she’d said had affected Reese deeply, although he’d never said anything more about it. Instead, she saw a little more confidence in him afterward, as if he’d needed to hear someone else’s view of him—someone whom he trusted.
Shay realized as the days went forward, Reese had believed her. He even walked with more confidence. Her heart swelled fiercely for this man, this warrior who was struggling daily like all of them, to make a life for himself that would give him back the self-respect he’d lost along the way.
“Sit down, Shay. I got some questions for Reese here.”
Shay smiled a little. Her father had shaved. Over the past year he’d learned to do it with his left hand instead of his right one, which was now useless. Ray had refused physical therapy shortly after the stroke. And because of it, his right hand was shaky and weak.
“You look good today, Father,” she said, as she sat down next to Reese.
Ray stared at them. “I just heard gossip that I want confirmed, Shay. Are you really going to have four houses built on my ranch?”
“Yes, but it’s more than that.” She launched into the explanation of what would take place shortly. When she was finished, he glared at her.