So he continued doing the only thing he knew that would help her, and that was to slide his hand slowly up and down her back, caressing her, caring for her. Shay’s sobs finally ended and the silence gently embraced them as they stood together in the kitchen.
Shay clung to him as if to be torn out of his arms would mean she would die. Her unspoken feelings struck him fully. And truth be told? Reese wanted to keep holding her, because she completed him in a way no woman ever had. The realization was as shocking and stark as it was heated with blazing promise. Closing his eyes, he rested his chin lightly against the top of her head, knowing that was an impossibility. He was so damaged. Beyond repair. Shay deserved someone who was whole. Someone who could give her what she so richly deserved. He’d come to realize he was only half a man. Never again would he be whole.
It didn’t stop Reese from dreaming. But that’s all it would ever be: a dream. Noah had been right, however. There was something good and clean and wonderful that they shared. With the bitterness of his destroyed marriage, and his two-year spiral into hell, Reese had become a pragmatist about his fall. The reality was that Shay wasn’t nearly as damaged as he or the other vets. She, at least, had a hope of recovery. And he wanted to be the man to help her do just that: support her in her efforts to heal. She deserved it more than any person he knew. She’d done so much for so many others without a thought for herself. She’d given her heart to the vets, her home, her food, and care.
And what could Reese give her in return?
The bitter reality, the harsh answer, tamped down all the hope crying out to be heard in his heavily scarred heart. He was afraid if he ever slept with Shay, if caught in one of those flashback nightmares, he would strike out, hitting her as he’d once struck Leslie. Only this time, he might do even worse injury. Reese had killed with his hands in combat. He knew what it was like. A lump formed painfully in his throat and he kept swallowing, wanting to howl with anger over the unfairness of life. He wanted so desperately to give back to Shay. But he was beneath her. Broken.
Reese felt Shay lift her head. He opened his arms so she could stand and move away from him if she wanted. He felt her hands easing from around his waist but hovering over his hips as she looked up at him, her eyes filled with grief as she studied him in silence. Without thinking, Reese smoothed damp hair from her pale, wet cheek and eased the strands behind her ear. He saw her eyes change, pupils enlarge, her lips part slightly in response to his butterfly-light touch.
And then, the impossible happened.
Shay leaned up, her hand resting lightly against his jaw, her lips finding his. She kissed him.
Reese’s world halted, as if tethered by an anchor, as her soft, trembling mouth slid so tentatively, so shyly against the compressed line of his lips. Shocking heat bolted down through him. And as her lashes, damp with tears, fell against her cheeks and she nudged open the seam of his lips, asking him to kiss her in return, his heartbeat pounded out of control.
Taking her mouth gently, Reese heard a low sound in her throat telling him she liked what he was doing. Never had Reese thought he’d be kissing Shay. It had been a dream. That’s all. Just a dream.
Until right now. He slid his mouth across hers, letting her know he wanted to kiss her, too. His mind spun. Was she kissing him out of neediness? Or was she kissing him because she wanted him as much as he wanted her? Reese didn’t know, feeling the moist warmth of her breath feathering across his nose and cheek, sinking deeper into the softness of her open lips against his.
It had been two years since he’d felt the heat and joy of connecting with a woman’s mouth. Reese’s body went giddy inwardly, so many suppressed feelings flooding brightly and powerfully through him. All he could do was focus on Shay’s mouth, her tenderness as she explored him a little more with each breath she took. He felt her fingers tighten against his cheek, felt her leaning into him, her breasts pressed fully against his chest. His one hand cupped the back of her head, the other coming to rest on the small of her back. Reese angled her head just enough to take full advantage of what she was offering him.