“But he’d fallen so far,” Diana whispered, reaching out, touching Shay’s hand to comfort her. “He only sees the fall and his failure. Not getting up and coming back to who he was before. Granted, he’s not an officer in the Marine Corps anymore, but I saw him in action for two days during the arena-raising. He’s a natural at leading others. Even Steve Whitcomb, who’s a lot like him, recognizes Reese’s abilities. And Steve would know a good leader because he’s one himself.”
“Reese is rebuilding his confidence in himself. I see it growing and taking hold within him every day. It’s working, and I’m so grateful that he’s healing. His sticking point now is his emotions toward me.”
Diana finished off her sandwich and wiped her mouth with the napkin. “I don’t think either of you entered into this with the thought of falling in love with one another.”
“For sure,” Shay muttered darkly. “I guess I never saw myself in that way. After growing up with my alcoholic father, being married wasn’t the starry-eyed dream I wanted out of life. I had eighteen years of suffering under my father. For sure, Diana, I did not entertain meeting a guy that I wanted to ever have live under my roof.”
Giving her a kind look, Diana said, “Love often catches us off guard, Shay. Just when it’s the last thing on our horizon, it plants itself in our heart. I know. It happened to me. Finding Chuck and then feeling this instant, invisible connection to him was a shock. I felt from the moment our eyes met, I was on some kind of slippery slide that I had absolutely no control over. My heart leaped. My body went hot. I was going crazy inside and resisting it with everything I had.”
“That sounds like me and how I felt when I met Reese. It was instantaneous. Magic. But at the same time, I felt panic. I didn’t want to be drawn to him at all.”
“Yeah, I was scared witless too, and I carried a lot of baggage from my past,” Diana admitted wryly. “But the heart doesn’t care, you know? The heart wants what it sees as wonderful, beautiful, and joyous. But I hadn’t had a wonderful life, so I felt overwhelmed with all these needy, wanting emotions where Chuck was concerned. I didn’t know what to do with them. I was afraid to speak to him about it. I thought it was all one-sided because he didn’t let me know for a long time how he felt.”
“Well, at least Reese and I are a little further down that road. He admits he’s drawn to me and vice versa. But he’s told me more than once, he can’t go there because of his past.”
“You need to figure out ways to convince Reese that it’s worth giving his heart to you, despite everything else.”
Glumly, Shay looked at Diana. “I’ve never taken the lead on letting a man know how I feel about him.”
“You need to in this case, Shay. I’m not saying it’s easy.”
Rubbing her brow, Shay said, “I’m not an assertive kind of person. I’m afraid if I try, he’ll push me away . . .”
“Rejection? Yeah, I know that one,” Diana commiserated. “Maybe small steps, Shay. Touching his hand? Letting him know you’re interested? Moving closer to him? Letting him know you want him? That’s more subtle, and it won’t be lost on Reese.”
Nodding, Shay whispered, “I was thinking in that direction, too. But I’m so afraid, Diana.”
“That’s the risk you have to take and there’s no easy way around it. And you can’t shield yourself from it, either, Shay. Maybe you need to listen more closely to your heart? What feels right to do at the time or moment if it comes up? Sometimes we overthink situations and then destroy the moment. But if we allow ourselves to switch to our hearts, our feelings, then often, it’s a much clearer path to take. Not so filled with landmines.”
“That feels better to me,” Shay admitted. “I’m such a wilting lily of a woman. I’ve been beat down by my father, and I’ve been learning since eighteen to stand on my own and speak up for myself.”
“And that’s all good,” Diana praised. “Now, you have to take another step. If Reese isn’t going to come to you on his own, you’ll have to lure him to you.”
Pursing her lips, Shay dragged in a ragged breath. “I just want Reese to give us a chance. To explore and see if what we feel for one another is real.”
“Make it real for him,” Diana said. “That doesn’t mean you have to jump in his bed and insist on making love. That would probably blow him out of the water and you’d be back at square one. This has to be subtle, but constant—wear him down little by little, get him used to the fact you’re around, that you want him and you’re not taking no for an answer.”
“Is there a book written on this?”
Diana laughed and shook her head. “No, this is Life 101, Shay.”
“But I’m not some kind of femme fatale.”
“Don’t have to be. Use normal, daily situations to see where and if you can connect with Reese. Chuck had his hands full with me. I was the one running from a potential relationship with him. He knew it and set about rectifying that by the very things I’ve been discussing with you. He didn’t come on strong and bullying. He came on subtle and gently. I got used to him being in my space, being with him. I let my guard down and began to enjoy him.”
“I have to make Reese want me more than outrunning the fear that drives him?”