Which meant…
Which meant it was up to me to ensure that he was safe.
Without me.
With mechanical movements I stuffed the letter in my pocket and walked back to my bedroom. I pulled out an old weekend bag and packed the bare necessities—a change of clothes, toiletries, money, a few sentimental items—and then returned to the kitchen.
It took me twenty minutes to write the hardest note I’d ever had to write. I folded the white piece of paper in half and scribbled Warin’s name across it, leaving it on the counter where I knew he’d find it.
Then I cast a last glance around the small living space, biting my bottom lip when my eyes fell on the painting of a sunset Warin loved so much. It lay on the floor where it had fallen the night before.
Agony tore at me from the inside, but I gritted my teeth against the tears stinging my eyes. Now was not the time to cry. I could do that later. And for the rest of my life.
Pulling on strength I didn’t know I had, I walked to my bedroom and opened the window there as wide as it would go. There was a pretty good chance Roy would let me leave, if I told him I’d had a change of heart and I needed out of the vampire world, but I didn’t want him to risk Warin’s wrath. So instead, I climbed out my bedroom window at the back of the building, bringing only my weekend bag with me from the life I’d built in Chicago. I didn’t stop to call a taxi until I was two blocks away.
* * *
“Liv?” Joana looked at me, eyebrows raised in surprise as she opened the derelict shop door wider. It was her coven’s headquarters, Raven had told me when I’d texted her asking for her High Priestess’ whereabouts.
“I need your help,” I said. “Please.”
Joana’s eyebrows drew into a frown, but she nodded and opened the door wide enough for me to slip in.
The shop was as old and dusty as it’d looked like from the outside, the boards covering its windows only allowing a few cracks of light to reach its depths. From what little I could see, it looked like it’d been an antique store, once upon a time.
Joana led me out back and up a flight of rickety stairs. I could hear a faint murmur of voices from one of the rooms farther down the small hallway, but she opened the door into an empty space hosting only a few pillows on the floor, what looked like an incense burner, and a wooden bookshelf with piles of herbs and clusters of crystals.
“What can I do for you, Liv?” she asked as she knelt down on one of the floor cushions, motioning for me to take a seat in front of her.
I did, and took a moment to gather myself before I looked up at her again. Her expression was gentle, and it offered me the strength I needed to speak the words I needed.
“I have to disappear. And Warin can’t know where I’ve gone to.”
She nodded after a moment’s silence. “I see.”
I took another deep breath. “I have taken his blood—which means he will know where I am whenever he’s awake. I was hoping… is there a way to remove this effect? Something you can do? A spell?”
Joana hesitated for a moment, but then she nodded again. “There is a spell. It won’t sever your connection completely—only time can do this, and only if you have taken his blood less than three times. But, if we do this, he will no longer be able to tell where you are. Just that you are out there, somewhere. Alive.”
At least it wouldn’t be a complete severance. At least there would still be some small part of our connection lingering, even if I wouldn’t feel it. Even if it would fade with time. “Will it hurt him?”
Joana smiled softly. “No, child. He will only know you’re gone when he wakes and searches his bond for your location. You are not the first witch to need this spell, nor will you be the last. There have been instances through the centuries of powerful vampires capturing our brothers and sisters and forcing a blood bond on them, either through threats or Compulsion. This spell was crafted to give the vampire as little notice of their bond being broken as possible, to allow the witch time to flee.”
I nodded. “Good. Can we… get started? I need to be out of the city before dusk.”
“Of course.” She reached out and grasped my hands in hers. “Close your eyes, Liv. And see with your inner eye the last time you took his blood.”
The memory of Warin’s party welled up. I remembered the look of adoration in Warin’s eyes, his comforting presence as he held me to him so tightly as if we were the only people left in the world. The heat in my body and the zing on my tongue as his blood filled my mouth. His hardness pressing up against my legs and his moans of pleasure.
“Mother goddess, release your daughter from the bond of the Damned. Free her from his blood and protect her from his sight. Goddess of witches, goddess of life—protect my sister. Free her of her bonds.” Joana spoke clearly, but as she said the words to the spell, a rushing from deep inside of me mixed with her voice, turning it woolen. That same power from within me that had tried to fight against the curse rose up, struggling against the gentle press of her magic. But it was no use.
I felt the moment my connection to Warin dampened, as if a cold, clammy fog wrapped around a part of me I hadn’t even known existed. Cutting me off from the only source of warmth I’d ever known.
“Thy will be done,” Joana whispered. She reached out and brushed her fingers against my cheeks, and only then did I notice the tears trickling down my face.
I opened my eyes and wiped at my face. I didn’t have time to cry. Not yet. Not before I was out of the city and Warin was safe.
“I promised you that, when you were ready to leave the vampire, I would put you on the path to discover your magic,” Joana said, voice gentle. “I have a friend in Kentucky. Maggie. She is the High Priestess of a coven there. If I ask, she will take you in and help you open up the connection to your powers. Do you want my help, little sister?”
I drew in a shuddering breath before I nodded. Maybe if I hadn’t been so weak, I could have fought against whoever it was who was so adamant to rip me away from the only man I’d ever loved. Maybe one day, if I was strong enough to protect us both, I could come back. “Please.”
* * *
Warin,
I can't do this. I can’t be yours.
I have left Chicago, and I will not be coming back. If you truly do love me, let me go. Please, Warin. Let me go.
* * *
Forgive me.
* * *
Liv
26
3 months later
“Again!”
I gritted my teeth and steadied my shaking hands as I tried to force a connection to the green light. The tiniest thread obeyed, and the air around my fingers crackled… and died with a fizz.