“Then maybe you should fuck off!” I stepped to the other side, and he followed me again. Fine! I stomped straight ahead, fully determined to push him aside with my shoulder.
Unfortunately, the result was pretty much the same as what I imagine trying to bully a three-ton rock off the road would have been. I smacked into his shoulder with mine, and was bounced backward with the force of my own momentum.
Warin caught me lightly by the elbow until I regained my balance, but was smart enough to let go immediately after that.
“Liv, listen to me—“
“No! You do not get to speak!” I was aware I was screaming, but I didn’t care. “I know what you did, you sociopathic prick! I trusted you, and you— you manipulated me! You made me drink your blood, Warin. Your blood. You could have taken me to the hospital. You could have not made me drink it again yesterday, without so much as telling me what I was doing!”
“I know,” he whispered. “I know why you’re angry. I understand.”
“That’s fantastic for you,” I hissed. “Then kindly get the fuck out of my way!”
“I can’t. I can’t let you leave like this. The skinwalkers—“
“Fuck the skinwalkers!” I snapped. “And fuck you!”
“Liv!” It was the first time he’d raised his voice at me, and the sheer surprise of having the power of his full authority aimed at me made me take a step backward. “I understand you’re angry, but I am not letting you walk into the night with skinwalkers on the prowl. Do not make this worse by forcing me to restrain you.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “If you put your hands on me right now, I swear…”
“I won’t. But I cannot let you leave.”
“I’m not going back in there,” I said, indicating the direction of his house with a nod of my head. “I’m not going anywhere with you ever again.”
“Liv…” There was so much pain in his darkened eyes that it pierced through my anger and stabbed deep into the cesspit of agony behind my ribs. I only managed a broken sob in response this time.
“I am… I am so sorry. I… I know I have no excuse, but I…” Warin trailed off, shaking his head.
“Why? Just tell me why?” I sobbed.
“Because I knew I needed to see you again,” he whispered. “You were… I’d given up on everything. I didn’t want anything from this world anymore, and then… there you were. This… this burning fire of pure life, thrown into my arms when there was nothing left for me. In my entire life, I have never met anyone like you. Being near you—even in that cell… it was like feeling my heart beating again. You don’t know how long I’ve been numb. How many centuries, Liv. I couldn’t let you walk out of my life again.”
I had expected that he'd try to convince me that it wasn't that bad or that I was overreacting. I hadn’t expected this.
When I saw the raw anguish deepen in his gaze, something in my heart twisted in response.
“I regretted it that same night. I was so ashamed of what I’d done. You are the only one, save my blood brother, who has ever put themselves in harm’s way for me, and I repaid you by deceiving you. That’s why I didn’t seek you out for the first few months. I told myself it was enough that I knew you were out there, alive. But…” He looked away, as if the shame became too much to bear while still keeping eye contact. “When I felt our connection start to fade, I knew I had to see you again. Just one more time.”
“And then I asked you to come back,” I said quietly as I wiped at my cheeks. The tears were still falling in a steady stream.
“I promise you… I swear by everything sacred in this damned world, I have not used the blood bond to manipulate you. I wanted to know you for who you truly are. I wanted a friend. For the first time in my life, I wanted a true friend who was not tied to me by this curse in some way. And I wanted you to know me.” He grimaced. “I guess now you do.”
I hated the fact that my heart ached for him so bad it was hard to breathe. That through my own pain, I did truly see him. Perhaps clearly, for the first time. Not as the mysterious man who was always so in control, and not as the dangerous vampire who’d manipulated me—but as the only creature as lonely, as broken as I was.
“Did you make a copy of my house key?” I asked quietly.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Warin breathed deeply and looked back up at me. “Because I wanted to be close to you, and what I am… I have to fight against it with you. I am… built to take. Possess. I made the copy of your key to appease the monster.”
“That’s what Diva said,” I whispered. I dug my fingernails into the palms of my hands. “Have you ever been in my home without my knowledge or consent?”
“No. Never.” The absolute sincerity in his gaze broke the final barrier of icy wrath I’d been clinging to.
I hid my face in my hands and finally gave in to the sorrow. It wasn’t a pretty, lady-like cry. It was full, deep, body-rocking sobs from the very pit of my belly. I cried so hard I had to gasp for breath.
Strong arms closed around me, hesitantly, to give me the chance to pull away, but I didn’t have the strength. Crying like I hadn’t cried since I was a child, I let the man who’d hurt me deeper than anyone else comfort me with his presence.
I don’t know how long he held me in his arms as we stood in the middle of the street in his quiet, upper class neighborhood, but it felt like hours before my sobs finally quieted and, like the quiet after a storm, allowed a deep peace to settle within.
“I’m not okay with this,” I mumbled into his shirt. “What you did is not okay.”
“I know,” he whispered.
“How are we supposed to be friends when… when there is this between us? When you broke my trust, because of… because of what you are?”
“I don’t know.”
I snorted, a helpless little sound that only reminded me of how fucking lonely I’d been before Warin came into my life. I hadn’t even realized, before he’d been there to ease it in a way I hadn’t known possible.
“Why the fuck didn’t you just ask for my phone number?” I grumbled.
Warin barked a laugh, and for a brief moment his arms constricted tighter around me. “Liv… I will do anything you ask to make this right. Anything. Tell me, and I will do it. I understand that I have no right to ask anything of you, but I am. Please—don’t give up on us.”
I finally lifted my head and looked up at him—and knew that not only didn’t I want to lose him. I couldn’t.
“Take me to the skyscraper again,” I whispered.
Warin’s arms tightened around me again, lifting me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
“Don’t let go,” I said.
“Never,” he promised.