And now I stand outside Rand’s apartment, wondering how I can take this last piece of my life’s puzzle and snap it into place so that my existence will be as close to perfect as a person can hope for. I wipe my hands on my skirt because they’re sweaty from nerves and take a deep breath, trying to will my heart to slow the hell down.
Rapping my knuckles against the door twice, I listen intently. I can hear him walking, hear the creaking of the floor on the other side of the door, and then he’s standing there in front of me, looking better than ever. Blond hair falling over his forehead and he pushes it back, giving me a lazy smile. He stretches his other hand out high to grab onto the doorjamb, which raises his t-shirt up slightly so I get a peek of his stomach. I can’t help it… my eyes fall and stare, and when my tongue pops out to lick my lower lip, Rand gives a husky laugh.
Cheeks red and warm, my gaze snaps back up to his. Amusement shining in his eyes, he says, “Took you long enough to come see me.”
“Well, with my dad visiting and all—”
“He flew out two days ago,” he points out to me, and this is something I know well. It’s taken me two days to get my nerve up to come see Rand after my dad left for North Carolina.
Two days where I tried to prepare the best speech ever to let him know what he means to me, and as I stand here now, I can’t remember a damn word.
It’s gone. Blank. All the pretty poetic words about what he’s done for me and the realizations I’ve come to… just… gone.
So I blurt out, “I think I love you.”
The amusement drains out of Rand’s eyes and his stare becomes very intent, his body going still.
Was that the wrong thing to say? Shit.
“I mean… what I really meant to say is—”
Rand lunges at me, hands going to either side of my face. With a tight grip, he yanks me into him. Our mouths crash together, our bodies press in tight. My entire being sighs in relief and that last piece of the puzzle snaps in with a resounding click.
Or is that my heart finally settling into place now that it finally knows what love really is?
Not sure.
I’m being lifted, his hands moving from my face to my ass, where he pulls me up his body and my legs lock around him. We don’t stop that delicious kiss for even a moment as Rand turns into the apartment and kicks the door shut behind him. My arms circle around his entire head, fingers in his hair as our tongues duel and our teeth scrape against each other.
Then I’m flying… free for a moment until my back hits his bed and his body covers me from the top. Mouth back on mine as hands start to roam.
My fingers slip under the back of his t-shirt, pressing into his muscles. Rand grinds his pelvis against me, and we both groan over the sensation.
His hand slides under my skirt and goes straight to my hip. He starts to yank at my panties, trying to get them off me.
“I really need to fuck you,” he mutters as he rears up and puts both hands to the task.
“Wait,” I say, my arms rising and my palms going to his chest. “That night at The Silo… when I went there… I didn’t—”
“I know,” he says brusquely, eyes pinned to the job at hand, which is now currently sliding my panties past my knees.
Okay, that conversation clearly doesn’t need to happen. But there’s so much to say and I can’t concentrate when he’s stripping me.
“But we need to talk about—”
“Cat,” Rand practically barks at me with amused frustration as he pulls my underwear free and tosses it over his shoulder. “We can talk about how much we love each other, spiritual awakenings, and all that other foo-foo shit that occurs when you’re in a relationship later, but right now… it’s been a long damn time since I’ve been inside this * and I’m not about to wait so we can hash all this crap out.”
I know I should be offended, but I’m not. He’s adorable.
“You love me?” I ask, knowing that’s really the only important thing I need to know.
“Yes,” he says as his smile softens. He presses the palm of one hand against my mound, turns his wrist, and then slips a finger inside of me. “And you’re wet as hell right now, so I’m going to fuck you and then we’ll talk later, okay?”
“Okay,” I sigh as my hips undulate against the sensations.
“Good girl,” he commends me as he works to free his cock from his jeans.
His hands go under my knees after he does, raising and spreading me wide, and then he’s sinking in deep and it’s the best feeling in the world. Totally different from any time before since there are true emotions involved now.
Because now I know who I am and I understand my worthiness to be happy.
Because he loves me and I love him, and that makes all the difference.
Rand’s hand strokes my lower back in wide circles while I lay on top of him, lulling me to the edge of sleep. My heart rate is finally back to normal but what is still going full tilt is the happiness coursing through me.
Let’s think about all the reasons why.
I have a wonderful man who loves me and thinks I’m perfect, warts and all.
I have a family now… a father, a stepmother, a brother, and a sister.