JumpJim at 20—- 07-02 22:37 EST: bullshit I live east side nothing worthwhile in those places since 1950s EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-02 22:37 EST:
ORLY
JumpJim at 20—- 07-02 22:38 EST: ?
JumpJim at 20—- 07-02 22:39 EST: dont understand
Carter nudged me away from the keyboard.
EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-02 22:41 EST: ur such a loser
EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-02 22:41 EST: such a lil bitch u been pwnd JumpJim at 20—- 07-02 22:42 EST: dont understand
Carter started messing with him, claiming to be offended, issuing ridiculous rap-battle threats. It was dumb, but funny. I began to offer suggestions.
—Tell him we’re going to find him, fuck him in the ass.
After a few posts JumpJim went offline. I thought we’d frightened him away, but when I checked out the thread the next day, he’d been leaving conciliatory messages. He must have been old. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t understand half of what we said or the weird mention of thrift store record shopping in the fifties, which had to be bullshit. He just sounded cranky, irritated by having to type his questions, like an old man who has given up trying to understand new things. I almost felt sorry for him. We’d been saying nasty stuff, how we were going to rip his head off, pull his tongue out a hole in his throat. We probably went over the top. I posted once more, just in case.
EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-03 23:11 EST: you still there JumpJim?
I made coffee. When I came back and refreshed the thread, he was online.
JumpJim at 20—- 07-03 23:18 EST: please don’t want to do this on the computer much better talk like human beings EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-03 23:19 EST: what about? you want to buy the record JumpJim at 20—- 07-03 23:20 EST: you selling. how much?
EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-03 23:20 EST: $$$ its rare I want $50k for it.
JumpJim at 20—- 07-03 23:21 EST: maybe someone will give you that not me though EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-03 23:22 EST: so why are we talking JumpJim at 20—- 07-03 23:23 EST: what do you know about Charlie Shaw EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-03 23:23 EST: not much
JumpJim at 20—- 07-03 23:24 EST: you got other KG 25 series
This foxed me. I called in Carter and he took over the account, diving into a conversation about catalog numbers, session dates, the various qualities of Vocalion, Electrobeam Gennett and Victor pressings, how Paramount cuts got clearer as the tracks went on, that kind of thing. Collectors are like dogs. They have to sniff each other’s scent, establish bona fides.
JumpJim at 20—- 07-04 00:04 EST: ok so you are not total amateur EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-04 00:05 EST: true
JumpJim at 20—- 07-04 00:06 EST
? does it say SJH anywhere on the label anything else
—Carter?
—No idea.
—But he seems convinced by the label.
—I don’t know why. I just found an image on the net and Photoshopped it.
—Really? I didn’t know you knew how to do that.
—I’m not a moron. Say something or he’ll get bored and go offline. Answer his question.
EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-04 00:07 EST: No SJH or anything just serial number keep saying JumpJim at 20—- 07-04 00:07 EST: b/w
JumpJim at 20—- 07-04 00:08 EST: WHAT’S ON THE OTHER SIDE
That, neither of us could answer. Carter shrugged.
—It’s kind of an obvious question, I suppose.
—Should I make it up?
—Give me a moment.
We stalled.
EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-04 00:09 EST: Do you know what’s on other side?
JumpJim at 20—- 07-04 00:10 EST: Your record you tell me.
That was stalemate.
—I’m too stoned to think of anything. Tell him we’ll meet him.
—Really?
—Why not?
—Well, you know. The internet. We don’t know anything about him.
—What’s he going to do to us? Maybe he’ll have records to sell. He seems to know a lot about Paramount pressings. I’d pay good money for high-numbered Paramounts, better than he knows.
EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-04 00:11 EST: Let’s talk
JumpJim at 20—- 07-04 00:11 EST: Great. Will you bring record
I couldn’t exactly refuse, so I just lied.
EVP_Seth at 20—- 07-04 00:11 EST:
OK
He named an Irish bar on 14th Street, almost at the East River, a spot I’d never heard of. Streetview showed a windowless joint wedged between a dry cleaner and a dollar store, the kind of place you could walk past twenty times and still miss. He wanted to meet there at eight-thirty in the morning. What kind of bar was open before nine in the morning? We told him that was too early. He wanted a morning meeting. He was very insistent. We settled on ten.
JumpJim at 20—- 07-04 00:12 EST: Deal. Now I will tell you something. Before you posted that song, I had not heard Charlie Shaw since 1959.
I showed the screen to Carter, who made crazy person circles with his finger against his temple.