“It’s wonderful to see you. You look better than ever. How long has it been, Franka?” Berkel said.
Franka was staring at the death’s-head skull on his hat. He took the cap off and put it under his arm.
“Thank you. It’s been years, Herr Berkel. Four years?”
“I haven’t seen you since you moved to Munich. Do you mind if I sit down for just a moment?” He pulled out the chair opposite her.
“Of course not.” She had no choice in the matter.
“Please, call me Daniel. We shouldn’t need to be so formal just because of my position. We’re old friends, catching up, and that’s all I want to do—catch up. Do you mind if I smoke?” He offered her a cigarette. She hadn’t smoked for several years but took one anyway. He lit her cigarette first, then his own. Puffs of white smoke filled the air between them. She sat back, hoping it might calm her nerves. “What brings you back to Freiburg?” he continued.
“I came back to visit my father’s grave, and for the reading of his will.”
“Yes, of course, I saw his name on the list of dead from the last Allied bombing raid. I am sorry for your loss. Those animals don’t care how many of our citizens they massacre. I long for the day when we might avenge the deaths of your father and the hundreds of thousands of German citizens murdered by the Allies.”
Franka could feel her whole body shaking. “As do I, Daniel.” Berkel seemed convinced.
“And I also wanted to express how sorry I was to hear about you.” He took a drag from the cigarette. Franka didn’t know what to say, how to answer. “I heard about what happened in Munich.” She wanted to ask how but knew that he probably knew everything about everyone from Freiburg. “It’s a tragedy that you were brought under the influence of those despicable traitors to the Reich.”
Her heart hardened. Hans was a hundred times the man Daniel or any of his Nazi cronies would ever be. She sat still, focusing on controlling the terror below her calm surface.
“Thank you, Daniel.”
“I’m so glad that the judge recognized the fact that, as a woman, you needed to be protected. Your good nature left you more susceptible to the horrific lies and propaganda that scum were spreading. I’m sorry that you went through that.” He took a drag on his cigarette before continuing. “It must have been a horrible experience. I know it might be hard to recognize sometimes, but the National Socialists do want what’s best for the German people.”
Franka didn’t react. She could tell by the earnest look on his face that he meant every word. “I was lucky. That much is certain.”
“Yes. I was glad to see that you didn’t end up going to the guillotine, as those other traitors did. You still have a future ahead of you as a wife and mother, and one day you’ll produce sons to serve the Reich.”
Daniel finished his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray on the table between them. Franka had taken about three drags from hers. He leaned forward. “I know you’ve learned your lesson.”
“Of course. I was foolish, led astray. I should have reported those swine, but I was frightened.” She took a deep breath in a vain attempt to douse the pain that saying those words brought.
An elderly woman approached the table. Berkel stood up to greet her.
“Herr Berkel, it’s so good to see you,” she said.
“And you, Frau Goetsch. You look wonderful.”
“I’m so thankful to you.”
“Think nothing of it. It was my pleasure.”
The old woman lifted up a bag. “I have something for you and your family.”
“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly accept.”
“Take it, for your boys. It’s for them—for all you’ve done for my family.”
Berkel took the bag. “Thank you. I’ll be sure and let the boys know you were thinking of them this Christmas.”
“Bless you, Herr Berkel,” she said, backing away. “Heil Hitler.”
“Heil Hitler,” Berkel said, and sat back down.
“Excuse me,” he said.
“Who was that woman?”
“An old friend of the family who was in need. I was happy to help. I wish you’d let me help you, that you had come to me when those traitors tried to manipulate you.”
“Perhaps if you had been there, I might have been more comfortable going to you.”
“It’s so good to hear you say that. I know now the judge made the right decision. It’s time to get on with your life. Have you thought about how you might give back to the Reich? Nurses are always in demand, especially with our brave troops on the front getting wounded every day in Russia.”
“I had that thought. I only got out of jail three weeks ago, however. I need a little time. Perhaps when Christmas is over.”
“I understand. Where will you be spending Christmas?”
“Munich. That’s where my life is now. I’m only back for a few days.”
“Yet you have your skis with you?” he said as he glanced at the floor beside the table.
Suddenly she became aware of the morphine in her backpack, the gauze and the plaster of paris. If he searched it, this would all end.
“My father’s apartment was destroyed in the bombing raid. I’m staying in our old summerhouse in the mountains. I can’t say I expected to get snowed in, however.”
“Yes, this weather has been quite something. But you say that you intend to make your way back to Munich for Christmas? That’s just nine days away.”
“That’s my plan. I don’t want to spend Christmas alone in that old cabin. I want to get back to Munich as soon as I can.”
“I remember that cabin. We had some good times there.”
Franka tried not to shudder as she remembered weekends spent in her father’s cabin with him. Those college days when he was the dashing local Hitler Youth leader seemed like eons ago. Most of the other girls had been jealous. They could have him now. She noticed a wedding ring on his finger.
“So you’re married?”
“Yes, for four years now. You remember Helga Dagover?”
“Of course.”
“We have two sons, Bastian and Jürgen.”
“Many congratulations.”
“Yes, they are fine Aryan boys, just what this country needs. Of course, by the time they’re grown this war will be over, and they’ll be able to reap the benefits of what we’re trying to sow.”
Franka didn’t answer. The desire to run, to escape, was almost beyond her control, and it took every fragment of strength within her to sit still.
“Would you like to see a picture of them?”
“Of course.”
Berkel reached into his pocket and removed his wallet. A proud smile cracked across his face as he drew out the photograph, and his eyes lit up in a way she hadn’t thought possible.
“Are they not the most beautiful boys in the world?”
“Yes.”
“I do love them so. The worst part of my job is that I’m away from them so much, but they’re always in my heart.”
He returned the photo to his wallet. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver-plated cigarette case. Franka noticed the initials on it weren’t his. He offered one to her once more, but she refused. It had been years since she had smoked, and the previous cigarette had added to the nausea spreading through her like scum across a stagnant pond. Berkel lit the cigarette and sat back. The man in the cabin emerged in her mind.
“You never married, Franka.”
“No. I never did.”
“What age are you now, twenty-six? You have so much to offer. You don’t want to end up an old maid, do you? Your childbearing days are slipping by. You won’t see the flower of your youth again once it’s gone, you know.”
“I’m aware of my age, Daniel.”
“I don’t mean it like that. I didn’t mean to cause any offense. You’re more beautiful now than ever.”
“That’s quite all right, Daniel, and thank you again,” she said, unable to keep eye contact for more than a few seconds.