Soothing the rough edges that kept trying to fray.
I refused to give in to the memories that raved in the depths of my conscious where I’d left them, struggling to find their way out. For four years, I’d done just fine. I’d stepped into the shoes of the girl I wanted to be and shunned it all.
The past was the past. I needed to leave it there.
But all that fear was fighting for a rebound.
I was no fool. I knew why. The proof of it was in the Facebook message I’d received two months ago on my inactive account. It was one I’d seen during a weak moment. Swamped in loneliness and regret, I’d signed on with my IP address turned off.
I’d just needed a glimpse of my family. To be reminded of their faces. To catch a hint of their voices.
To feel as if I were a part of their lives when I’d torn myself from it four years before.
As if those crumbs could ever be enough.
But it was the waiting message that had literally dropped me to my knees.
We need your help. We understand your hesitation, but we need any information you can give us on Cameron Lucan. Please contact me as soon as possible.
As much as I kept trying to pretend it didn’t matter, that my getting involved wouldn’t change a thing, those thoughts kept creeping back in.
Prodding.
Goading.
Spurring.
Forcing me to look behind at a past I’d done everything to forget.
Add Lyrik into the mix?
I could feel fissures splintering my walls, that firm foundation crumbling beneath my feet.
Giving them my best smile, I glanced over my shoulder. “Looks like Charlie is getting slammed. Better rescue the old man before things start to get ugly over there. I’ll send one of the servers over to make sure you’re all taken care of.”
“Thanks, Tamar.” Shea looked at me as if she were apologizing I couldn’t stay, when in truth, I couldn’t wait to get away.
I got back to work, letting myself get lost in the vibe, the urgency I fed on as darkness covered the room and the country band played on, quick to sling drinks and even quicker to shoot down advances from overly friendly men.
Maybe it was wrong it made me feel strong. As if for a little while, I was in complete control. Like no one could touch me or pollute me. Even though I knew it was nothing more than an illusion.
“Running low on Goose, Charlie. I’m gonna run back to storage and grab some.”
“Not a problem, sugar. We’re hanging in just fine up here.”
I headed through the kitchen to the back storage room.
With my foot, I pushed the step stool over to the section with the different vodkas stacked on the shelves, and climbed up so I could reach a box of Grey Goose on the top.
Carefully, considering I was going down backward wearing five-inch heels, I maneuvered down, box balanced in one arm while I held on to the metal bar of the shelf with the other.
I turned around.
A yelp flew from me when I found the lone figure leaning up against the shelved wall.
My heart galloped like a sprint of horses, a riot of hooves beating against my chest.
Hands shaking so badly, I barely righted the box before it crashed to the floor.
Why are you doing this to me?
“What do you think you’re doing back here?” I finally managed, the first words just as shaky as my hands, the last filling with indignant anger.
Why?
Lyrik let that lazy smirk take over his too-pretty face. Shadows played across one side, making him appear more dangerous than normal.
“Lookin’ for you.”
I pushed off the intrigue gathering fast, ignored the beat of my heart and the want in my belly as I forced out the words, sharp and severe. “Well, you can stop looking for me, because I don’t want to be found.”
“You sure about that?”
“What is it you think you want from me, Lyrik?”
I’d spent all of last summer dodging his advances, doing my best to repel him with every bitchy rejection I could throw his way. It was time to put an end to this.
My words were hard and harsh, fueled by the desperation buried underneath. I just hoped it wasn’t the most apparent. “Do you want a quick fuck? Do you want me to drop to my knees and suck your dick and send you on your merry way? There are plenty of other girls out there begging for the job. Do me a favor and stop chasing me.”
Riding on the rush of adrenaline, I stalked for the door.
Voice rough, his words hit me from behind, that overwhelming presence just as close. “Like those eyes chase me?”
Chills traveled my spine as the rest of my body froze.
Overtaken by this attraction.
Why did I want him so badly?
But I guess the saying was true. We always want what we shouldn’t have.
Slowly I turned. That strong, beautiful body towered over me. Mine reacted to the nearness.
Heat.
Fire.
Need.