“Alas, I wish I knew.”
“What kind of quest is that? What land is it in?”
Reef noticed that the father in the lobby was approaching the front door. “Olly, come on.”
“What spell do we need?”
“Olls.” Reef caught the door and scooted inside before anyone could protest.
Olly slid in after him, shaking his head in frustration.
“It’s just some top-level gamer playing a joke,” Reef said. “That’s the trade-off when you give gamers editing privileges.”
“Stupidest game edit ever,” Olly said. “What’s the point?”
Reef worried the grip of the digital sword in his belt. “Just making fun of the Girl Queen stories.” He shrugged off the uneasiness that was creeping in. He concentrated instead on evading the concierge who was busy shooing the transients who had slipped through the door behind Olly.
“There’s no Fated Blade in the Girl Queen stories,” Olly said as he and Reef hurried out of the lobby.
Reef raised his eyebrows. “You’re telling me you’ve read all the thousands of books people have posted online and seen all the hundreds of movies and three-D movies and four-Ds, and you can say for sure there’s never been some Fated Blade?”
Olly grunted. “Maybe. But if I had that kind of editing privilege I wouldn’t waste it on an impossible quest.”
“When’s the last time you made any changes to the game?”
“I revert edits all the time.”
“That’s changing things back, not making up something new.”
“Game doesn’t need to be edited, in my opinion. Fewer people editing means fewer people adding in all these bugs that are screwing up everything.”
Reef shook his head. “Editing the game is half the fun—you get to make Alt the game that you want it to be. Who do you think makes up half the quests you go on? High-level gamers with top editing privileges.”
“And who do you think plants all the viruses and leeches you spend all your time trying to get rid of?” Olly said.
“Gives me something to do,” Reef said with a smirk.
They headed into a vestibule to find the sphinx guarding the entrance to the men’s room. Its great tawny haunches were pressed up against a door that managed to look ignoble despite the brassy sheen Reef’s goggles lent it.
“Hey,” Reef said in greeting.
“Holding up against the smell?” Olly added.
The sphinx peered down at them with yellow eyes set in a woman’s face and launched into its programmed speech. “Beyond this entrance to a den of wonders lies a valuable treasure of great power.”
“Ever hear anyone get so sentimental about automatic flushers?” Olly asked Reef.
“You’d feel the same way if you had to sit outside a bathroom all day,” Reef said.
“If you wish to enter the den,” the sphinx went on, its voice striking a balance between mystery and condescension, “you must answer my riddle.”
“If it’s about a troll in the woods, we already heard that one,” Olly said.
“Wasn’t very funny,” Reef added.
The sphinx ignored their comments and launched into its riddle: “Men ride upon my back, though I cannot be tamed—”
Olly chuckled. Reef rolled his eyes.
“—I surge and rush over ten thousand graves.”
“Man,” Reef said. “Now that we’re here, I really have to take a piss.”
“It’s not a real sphinx, dork,” Olly said. “Just take off your goggles.”
“And come back into the game to find my character being gnawed on.”
“Well, what surges and rushes and . . . dies?” Olly was already using his goggles to check the web for an answer.
“I’m only thinking with my bladder right now. I thought you said this was supposed to be easy.”
“Easier than it used to be. Until yesterday it was three riddles randomly generated from a who-knows-how-long list. And the sphinx was supposed to give us a time limit before eating us.” Olly kept searching the web for an answer, flicking his gloved fingers to scroll through a forum. “Someone definitely edited this quest: They did a sloppy job with the dialogue. The sphinx kept bobbing its head after it was done talking.”
“Told you. There’s a leech in there.” The sound of a flushing toilet echoed out from the bathroom, somewhat dampening the solemn effect of the setting. But it lent Reef inspiration: “The ocean.”
The sphinx closed its oval eyes at Reef’s answer. “Your intellect is keen. Retrieve your treasure.”
It shuffled its haunches to make room for them to pass. Reef glanced at Olly.
“Only enough leech-infected loot for one of us,” Olly said. “And I have no desire to supervise your bladder functions.”