There was a high note of burgeoning hysteria in Julia’s voice and Abbie stepped closer. She noticed the doctor did as well. Julia just wept and held Robert’s hand to her wet cheek. It was heartbreaking but Abbie knew the girl would need strong people to be at her side once Robert slipped away. And he would, Abbie thought sadly, because he already had the smell of death on him.
“Let my kin know when the babe comes. Promise me. Let them know,” Robert said with a sudden show of strength.
“I will. I promise. But you can help me do it.”
“No, darlin’, I don’t want nuthin’ as much as I want to stay with you, but I can’t. My luck has run out.”
“Please don’t leave me. Please.”
“Give me a kiss, love.”
Still weeping, Julia bent near and kissed him. She was just straightening up when the man lost his grip on life. Abbie jumped when Julia screamed but quickly grabbed her when she reached for Robert’s body. Matthew stepped up and took over for Abbie, holding Julia firmly even as the woman started to slump down. When Julia was finally out cold he swung her up into his arms and looked at Abbie.
The doctor stepped up before she could and did a quick examination before turning to Abbie. “She has had a severe shock. They can often bring on labor in a woman close to her time so she will need to be watched. It could happen soon or take a few days depending on how well she recovers.”
“I understand. I also fear she is not one who will overcome the shock easily,” Abbie replied and accepted the small bottle the doctor gave her. “What is this for?”
“If she is too overwrought, it will calm her. Try to give her as little as possible since she is with child. You just want to try and keep her calm.”
Abbie nodded. “Maybe she will be a quiet griever.”
The doctor nodded and patted her on the shoulder. “It is very sad. He was very happy about his child, even talked to me about how one can best care for a babe. I think he would have been a good father.”
Abbie suspected the same. She also had the feeling he would have been a pretty good husband, too. It was all just so sad, even Abbie felt choked up and knew she would have a good cry about it all later. She led Matthew out of the infirmary.
“It is sad,” Matthew said.
“So sad. I wish I had another word for it. It seems like it deserves a much better word. She is not going to take this well. Julia is not a strong woman. She is one who is easily hurt. I think she had a lot of dreams wrapped around Robert and their marriage. Funny thing is she asked me earlier this week if I believed in people who can sense something bad or good happening to them.”
“What did ye say?”
“I did not say yes or no, just pointed out a few ways it did not make sense to put much weight on a feeling. Now I am wondering if she was having a bad feeling about her future.”
“Who has not had one in this war?”
“True.”
She entered the Beaton house, pleased to see everyone had returned. The women all rushed over when Matthew stepped in holding Julia. “What happened to her?” asked Rose.
“Robert died,” said Abbie.
“Oh no,” said Rose, and all the others clapped a hand over their mouths as they gasped in shock.
“She at least got to speak to him before he passed,” said Abbie, who then looked at Matthew. “Do you think you can get ahold of his information on his family? He was quite desperate for her to get in touch with them.”
“If it is there, I will find it. Now, where is her bed?”
Abbie led him up the stairs. When he set Julia down, she took off the woman’s shoes and tucked her in. It was her hope that Julia would sleep for a long time. It was what she needed and it could be enough to take away some of the shock. She doubted it could ease her pain. That would take a very long time.
Matthew took her by the hand and tugged her out of the room. He had the feeling she would be stuck in there a lot over the next few days. Julia did not strike him as a strong woman, and Abigail’s words had confirmed that. The woman would carry her grief deeply and for a very long time, requiring a lot of sympathy and care. He would make sure he came by and dragged Abigail away from time to time.
“He will be buried as soon as can be. Do you think she will want to know?”
“Maybe. Just let me know and I will decide then. I have no idea how soon she will be able to handle anything. It is a decision I can only make at the last moment.”
“All right.” He brushed a kiss over her mouth. “Don’t forget to get some rest.”
“I won’t.”
She watched him go down the stairs, sighed, and then went into the room she shared with Julia. The woman was still sound asleep but she had turned onto her side so there was a chance she had already slipped into a natural sleep. Abbie threw herself down on her bed and then realized she still had her coat on. Forcing herself back up, she took it off, hung it up, and then changed into her nightgown. Once set, she checked again on Julia before climbing under the blankets and closing her eyes.
For a few moments, she gave in to the sadness she felt for two young people who had lost their chance at a full and possibly happy future. All because the two sides of the country could not agree. They were slaughtering their young with this war, she thought, and used a handkerchief to dab away the tears on her cheeks. Women were losing their beaus and husbands, the ones they had and the ones they might have had. Mothers were weeping over their sons and so many children had no fathers now. She closed her eyes, forcing herself to stop thinking of what was lost today, and trying to go to sleep. Just as she felt it slipping over her, pulling her mind and body down, she heard Julia.
Turning over, Abbie looked at Julia who was thrashing around in her bed. She got up wondering what could be done to soothe her when Julia sat up and screamed. Even as she hurried to the bed to grab the woman, she heard all the other women racing up the stairs to come to stand in the doorway.
“No, no, no, no!” Julia cried, and Abbie took her into her arms. “My beautiful Robbie. No, no, no, no. I want him back, Abbie. I want him back.”
Stroking her hair, Abbie said, “I know you do, Julia. I am so very sorry.”
“It is not fair,” she whined then sobbed. “We would have been such a good family.”
Abbie glanced at the women in the doorway and found no help because they were all crying silently and searching for their handkerchiefs. “I know and, yes, you’re right. It is not fair but I fear, quite often, life is not fair. Robert should not be dead. Boyd should not be maimed in one arm. That man in the bed next to him should not have to be facing life with his legs gone at the knee. Children should not have to stand at their father’s grave and wives should not have to bury their husbands. Parents should not have to weep over the grave of a son who never had the chance to give them grandchildren. All I can say is I am sorry. More sorry than I can ever say. It is the horrible cost of war, Julia.”
“I know that.” She sniffed and then continued crying. “I know it in my head. But my heart, Abbie! My heart keeps crying that it is not fair,” she said, her words ending in a wail. “I would have made him so happy.”