I saw that his face has turned red, and right away I got it. Nat didn’t want Abby to be interested in any boy—not in any boy other than him, that is. I kind of felt sorry for him, because although I knew that Abby loved Nat as her best friend and would always be loyal to him, I didn’t think she cared about him that way. I wondered if Nat realized that.
A few weeks into school that year, I passed Ab in the hallway right after the last bell. She was clutching a pile of notebooks to her chest and walking with her head down. Behind her a few cheerleaders, dressed for the pep rally that day, were giggling.
Before I could say hello, one of the cheer leaders, Trish, reached deftly around Abby and knocked a book out of her arms. I started to smile, thinking it was the kind of thing a guy would do to a buddy, but then I saw Ab’s reaction. Her face flushed, and she jerked away before leaning down to retrieve her book.
“What’s the matter, Shabby? Clumsy today?” The girls surrounded her, hemming her in.
Abby pressed her lips together tightly and didn’t answer. She began to stand up, and another cheerleader shoved her back down.
“We didn’t like what you wrote about the squad. You need to stop saying stuff like that.”
“It’s an editorial. Opinion. I can write what I want.”
I winced. That wasn’t what these girls wanted to hear. I knew them a little from parties and from away games, when we traveled together on the bus, but they weren’t people I generally hung around with. They tended toward meanness, and I really didn’t have time for that.
“Leave her alone.” I stepped forward and stood in front of Ab. “What’s wrong with you?”
One of the cheer leaders smirked at me. “This isn’t your business, Jesse. We’ve got it.”
“She’s a friend of mine, and she didn’t do anything to do. So it’s my business.” I grabbed Abby’s hand and hauled her up. Trish looked as though she wanted to say something else, but one of the other girls snagged her arm and pulled her away. She threw one more poisonous look over her shoulder at me as they headed down the hallway.
I glanced down at Abby. “What was that all about?”
She was standing frozen, and I realized that she was staring at our still-joined hands. I released hers and she looked away.
“It was nothing,” Abby mumbled. “Stupid cheer leaders.”
“What were they talking about? What did you write to set them off?” I persisted.
She looked me full in the face for the first time. “I guess this means you don’t make it a priority to read my editorials.” There was something in her voice that wasn’t quite humor mixed with a little bit of hurt.
“I don’t read anything but school stuff during football season,” I retorted. “No time. So what did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. I wrote an opinion piece about the special treatment the cheer leaders get, nothing that everyone else in the school isn’t thinking. And some of them obviously didn’t like it. No big deal.”
I gritted my teeth and ran a hand through my hair. “Ab, are you crazy? Not exactly the way to make friends.”
There it was again, that flare of pain in her eyes. “Thanks. I didn’t know I needed help making friends. I used to have some really good ones.”
I ignored the sarcasm. “I’m still your friend, Ab, you know that. But couldn’t you try a little harder? I mean, with other people?”
“The people I want for friends wouldn’t think I have to be a phony. They would accept me for who I am.”
“You don’t think I do?” That stung, maybe because it felt a little bit true.
“I don’t know, Jesse. Do you even know who I am anymore?” She jerked her arms away and stalked off down the hall. I didn’t try to follow her.
Chapter 10: Abby
High school was pretty much hell for me. I watched the people around me change and grow, but it felt like I was standing still.
Nat spent so much of his time on the water once he joined crew that I hardly saw him at all. After school, his mom picked him up and drove him to the college for practice. I went to as many of his matches as I could, but even there I didn’t see him for long. He told me though that it made him feel stronger when I was there watching.
“When I know you’re there, it’s like I could row for miles,” he said, eyes shining. I smiled but I couldn’t meet his gaze. Nat had been making it abundantly clear that he thought of me as more than a friend, and I walked a very fine line between ignoring it and encouraging me. I didn’t want to lose my friend, but I knew I didn’t like him that way. Mostly I knew that because there was someone who made my heart pound.