Licking my lips, I stroke myself a little faster and let my mind continue with the thoughts of her.
I watched her all night; the vision in my mind as clear as it was that day. Every step she took highlighted every tan inch of her bare legs in her cut-off shorts as she walked around the backyard. Her legs, long and toned despite the fact that she’s so short, moved gracefully with each step. But that’s when I stop thinking about that night. Instead, I use that vision of her as a mold to place her in the dream that had woke me up. Now, in my dream, she’s wrapping those legs around my body as I finally feel what the reality of fucking her is like.
I have to reach out to stabilize myself at the thought and I place one palm against the cool tile in front of me before dropping my head and feeling the water run down my back. My breathing speeds up until grunts of pleasure start to fall from my open mouth. I tighten my fist and work the straining flesh with a renewed fervor as thoughts of me taking Ember overwhelm me.
“Ah, fuuuuck,” I moan, moving quickly so that my back takes the place of where my palm had just rested against the tile. The bite of the cold against my skin doesn’t even register because the second my body is stable and braced against the wall, I bring my other hand down to join the one frantically pumping the top half of my cock. I squeeze my balls before moving up to fist the bottom of my cock as I tighten the hold I have over the tip, using both hands as I begin to fuck my tightly clamped fists, pretending with each thrust that I’m taking her.
My arms burn as I continue to fuck myself, my cock getting even harder under my wet hands until my orgasm rips through me. The thick jets of my come shoot forward, falling with the steady stream of the shower, as I ride out my pleasure.
My legs start to shake with the force of my orgasm, and I almost lose my footing. Releasing the firm hold I have on myself, my cock falls, still heavy with leftover desire, against my body.
I hate this feeling. No matter how great the pleasure my body gets from picturing her, I always feel empty after. A big giant reminder I’ll never know what having her feels like. Like it or not, this is all I’ll ever have. A hollow pit inside me that I’ve only ever felt was filling up when her smiles came at me without pause. A pit that’s taken up residence inside me since the night she admitted to having the same feelings I’ve been feeling for a long time. Fighting with myself, I evaded the magnitude of fear those feelings brought with them.
“Fuck, it’s going to be a long day,” I say to the emptiness around me, stopping myself from continuing the depressing thoughts rolling through my mind.
I finish showering before I get out and start to get ready for the day, unable to shake the feeling of loneliness that I’ve had plaguing me lately.
AFTER MY MIDDLE OF THE night shower, I had given up any hopes of returning to sleep. If I was honest with myself, it was more about self-preservation than actually not being able to sleep. I worried I would be haunted with more thoughts of Ember in my arms, and I just don’t have the energy to deal with that shit right now.
Three hours later, just when the clock in my truck’s dash turns over to seven in the morning, I’m pulling into the parking lot of the security business my dad owns with some of his old Marine buddies. No matter who you ask, they all say Corps Security was what brought all of our families together. I think after the parents of our group started having us kids, there was always a hope that we would all, in some way, join the business. Unfortunately, like our parents, we had our own dreams and many of them didn’t include anything CS related.
Cohen Cage, my best friend and brother-in-law, started working here after he left the Marines himself, right before he married my sister, Dani. He followed his own father’s footsteps into the ‘family business,’ which was probably the catalysis for my dad’s desire to get me here.
Cohen’s dad, Greg, was one of the men my dad had served with before they both joined the two security businesses they separately owned to form CS. My dad brought along John ‘Beck’ Beckett and Zeke Cooper when he moved to Georgia from California. Uncle Zeke passed away a few years later, but now, his brother, Asher, works for CS. Ember’s dad, Maddox Locke, was also part of their brotherhood and the man I currently work side by side with.