I smile. “Yeah, maybe not, but my dad’s got some years on him and he’s been through enough shit that I’m going to take his word for it. If we’re going to make anything of our future, Em, we’re going to have to stop looking in the past. All that’s going to do is stop us from creating our forever.”
Her face is comical when I finish. Her beautiful brown eyes round and huge in disbelief. Her lips parted slightly and I don’t even need to look down to know that her tits were heaving beneath her tank top. A thought that I should have tried to ignore because, not even a second later, I watched her face flush when my cock jumped against her core.
She shifts, and it jumps again. I quickly take hold of her thin hips with one hand grasped tightly on each side of her waist. “Don’t you move,” I demand through clenched teeth.
Her eyes leave mine, and she drops her head. A submissive move that I don’t miss in the least. My cock pulses violently at the thought of taking control of her while I fuck her in this position. Not letting her top from the bottom while I show her who holds the reins.
“Look at me,” I command in a hard tone, fucking thrilled when she instantly gives me those eyes again. “You need to let that go. For us to move on and forward, we can’t do that successfully if you’re holding that against me. I can’t change it, but I can promise you that I will never willingly hurt you again. Understand?”
She nods, swallowing audibly, and I know the controlling and dominating side of me that I normally only let out when I’m in the bedroom is turning her the fuck on. I always thought that Ember might be a sexual submissive but to have that confirmed feels damn good.
“Time to move on?” I probe while looking into her eyes and caressing the soft skin at her hips where her shirt had ridden up. “This next part isn’t going to be better, but we need to clear the whole table, and in order to do that, I need you to fill in a whole bunch of blanks I have right now.”
She goes wooden in my arms, and I fucking know she understands where I’m going with this.
“Nate,” she whimpers.
“I know, Ember, but I need to explain myself and I need you to be honest with not only me but yourself after I do. Got it?”
She relaxes her body but only marginally.
“For months and fucking months, I’ve woken up from the same dream. I’m with a soft and willing woman hot for me against a wall. My eyes never open in the dream, but even then, your face and scent filled my senses. I had never pictured anyone but you. I would wake up with the scent of lemon and wildflowers so strong in my nose that I was convinced it was real, but it always ended the same. Me opening my mouth and asking that woman’s name.”
With every word that leaves my lips, I watch as she struggles, and loses, the fight to control her emotions. When the first tear slips over her lids, I want to kick my own ass. Hell, by the time the second one spills over, I was ready to call her dad myself and tell him I was ready to take what he had to give me.
“When you,” she starts but has to pause when a giant hiccupping breath steals her words. “You didn’t even see me, Nate.”
“Baby, I was so drunk, I didn’t even see me. Even in that damn dream, I’m aware of how drunk I am.”
“When you pulled my arm as I was coming back from the restroom, I was startled at first because I didn’t know who it was. It was so dark on that side of the house, but the shadows you pulled me into made it almost impossible to see. But then you grumbled something about not being able to wait any longer. I thought you knew, Nate. You said you couldn’t wait to have me, and I thought you knew!” she screams and drops her head down on my shoulder. She turns, resting her forehead against my neck before she continues to speak. “The second you said those words and pushed me up against the wall, I didn’t even care that I was about to have sex for the first time with my family and closest friends around me in the middle of the shadows. None of that mattered because it was you, and I knew that I would be safe. Then …” She sucks in a stuttered breath. “Then in the same second I thought I would die of happiness, you pushing your thickness inside me just a bit—a place no man had ever been—you asked me who I was. There I was experiencing the best moment of my life with the man I had loved forever, and he didn’t even know who he was about to fuck. That. Killed. Me.”
“God, baby.” I exhale through the pain her words inflict on me.
“Then after I pushed you away, you just fell to the ground like nothing had happened. I can’t tell you what you did after that because I was too busy running away as fast as I could. Which, awkwardly for me, just happened to put me on a collision course with my own father. It was the worst moment of my life, Nate.”