Max has gone home for the holidays. I got the impression that he didn’t want to, but he had no choice.
Adam isn’t going home, so he is spending Christmas with us. As far as I know, he hasn’t spoken to his mother since she came in October. Adam hasn’t told me what went down with his mother after I had left, but I get the feeling that it wasn’t good. If he wants to talk about it, then I’ll listen, but I’m not going to push him.
He hasn’t mentioned his dad, but I know they’re not close. Adam’s dad is not the kind of father who calls up for no other reason than to have a chat with his son.
I’m just happy that he’s spending the holidays with me.
Dad is even letting him spend the night at our apartment tonight, so we can all wake up together tomorrow morning to open presents.
Adam will be sleeping on the couch.
We still haven’t gotten to the actually-having-sex stage in our relationship, not that Dad would let Adam sleep with me if we had gotten there. Not a chance in hell.
And I want Adam. I really do. I’m crazy about him. I love him. But I’m just not there with the sex thing yet. The thought kind of terrifies me. I’ve seen the size of his cock, and I honestly can’t wrap my head around how the hell it’s supposed to fit inside me, not that I’ve said that to Adam.
He’s just so patient with me. It’s amazing. He’s amazing.
“I’ve never done this before,” Adam says, pushing the cart alongside me.
I continue to deposit food into it from off the shelves. “Done what?”
“Shop for Christmas food.”
“No?” I give him a surprised look.
“Nope. The house staff always got the food and prepared it. Believe it or not, I didn’t actually have to shop for food until I moved here with Max.”
“That’s tragic.” I laugh.
“Yeah,” he agrees, laughing.
“So, what did you do for Christmas?” I imagine, with the money his family has, they probably spent it in Aspen or somewhere equally as nice.
His eyes lower. “Christmases were usually pretty shitty in the Gunner household. If Ava and Eric weren’t fighting over one thing or another, then Eric was getting drunk and waiting for the moment he could leave. We weren’t really the open-the-presents-around-the-tree kind of family. I usually spent most of each Christmas up in my room.
“When I was around thirteen, I started spending Christmas alone. Ava and Eric decided I was old enough to fend for myself, so they would go off—separately—to do whatever with whomever, so I would be home alone. There was the staff, but I would let them go home, so they could spend the day with their families. And I would just eat whatever our housekeeper, Millie, had made for me before she left, which was always something nice.”
“Your parents left you alone on Christmas?” I gasp, my heart hurting for him.
He shrugs like it doesn’t matter. Averting his eyes, he picks up a pack of cookies and starts examining them.
But I know it bothers him, and it makes me ache for him.
“I mean, I only spent two Christmases alone before Max found out, and he never let me spend another Christmas alone again, so it wasn’t all bad. Christmases got better after that. Max would take me to his house. Even though his parents are as close to fucked up as mine, they’re always home for Christmas. And it didn’t matter ’cause I was with Max, and we always had a laugh.”
I hate his parents. I’ve never even met his dad, and I hate him already.
No, I don’t hate them. I loathe them.
I mean, what kind of people leave their kid alone at Christmas?
The fucking evil kind—that’s who.
Stopping in the middle of the aisle, I walk over to where he is and wrap my arms around him from behind, hugging him tight. “Thank God for Max. I’m going to let him know how much I appreciate him when he gets back after the break,” I say into his shirt.
Adam turns in my arms and looks down at me. “I hope you’re not going to show your appreciation in the same way you show me that you appreciate me.”