The kind of loneliness where he could be surrounded in a roomful of people, and he’d still feel alone.
The kind of loneliness that comes from within, deeply embedded inside of him.
And I wanted to capture that and pull the loneliness out, bringing him to life on paper.
I can’t believe I gave him the drawing I’d done of him. It was so ballsy of me, and I’m not usually ballsy.
Actually, the whole thing was pretty ballsy of me, especially when I asked him if he’d changed his mind about asking me out.
God, I’m cringing from just thinking about it.
For all my bravado with Adam, I actually don’t really date.
It’s not because I don’t want to. I just don’t really have the time, and I haven’t met a guy who I really want to go out with.
I tend not to get dazzled by cute guys anymore. They’re in such abundance here, and I see them daily while working at the Shack.
That was up until yesterday when I was dazzled by the super tall and super hot guy who lives on the beach and watches me draw.
I literally couldn’t stop looking at him.
With a body like a god, he’s stupidly handsome. And when I say stupidly handsome, I mean, he’s the kind of handsome that would make a smart girl go stupid and also make that smart girl do stupid things.
I could imagine doing a lot of stupid things with Adam.
A guy like him could make a girl like me lose my damn mind.
He’s so intriguing, and his eyes are amazing. They are the most intense blue-green color that I have ever seen. They’re practically turquoise. His eyes are like an infinite pool of water, a place you could easily get lost in and never once get bored.
And a girl like me could easily get lost in a guy like him.
Aside from all his physical attributes, there is just something about him.
I’ve been finding myself thinking about him more and more since we spoke yesterday.
Throughout the last week, every day, when I went down to the beach, I wondered if he’d be there, watching. As the week went on, I started to feel a little sad when my hour was up, and I had to leave to catch my bus.
Now, Adam has asked me out, and I really want to go out with him even though I won’t actually have time to date him, especially when school starts back up. In my last year of high school, I’ll still be working evenings and weekends at the Shack on top of the schoolwork I’ll have to do, so that won’t leave any time to date.
But Adam has got me wanting things I shouldn’t, like doing hot naked things with him.
Oh my God! I can’t believe I just thought that!
I cover my face with my hands, a blush creeping over my body at the thought.
It’s all just so crazy! Adam watching me from his balcony, while I pretended not to know, and was secretly drawing his picture.
Then, his friend Max told me that Adam was going to ask me out. Honestly, when he said that, I nearly burst out laughing. I thought I’d skipped back to kindergarten. I didn’t really take Max that seriously—until Adam showed up on the beach and started talking to me.
He didn’t seem shy, like I had expected. In fact, he wasn’t shy at all. He was the total opposite. If anything, he was overly confident but not in that annoying cocky way that some guys could be.
And I just felt strangely comfortable around him, talking to him. It was like I’d known him for a long time already, which was crazy. I felt like I could say anything to him, and it wouldn’t matter.
And I did.
“I’ll let you know.”
I almost laugh out loud at myself.
Listen to me, being evasive. I was dying to say yes.
Honestly, I would have gone out with him then and there if I hadn’t had to get home to look after Casey while Dad went out.
Dad goes out one night a week to play darts with his friend Terry. Aside from that, he doesn’t go out, so I didn’t want to let him down.